Click
With the flip of a light switch, my room was illuminated, revealing the hills of clothes scattered around.
I went to the other side of my room which was dedicated to working out.
I had everything you would find in a normal gym: dumbbells, treadmill and... other equipment with names I'm not too sure about but know how to use, like that pull-up thingy mounted to the wall.
took off all my clothes except my trunks, revealing the weights I haven't taken off for the past 8+ years, and my cut muscles and six-pack abs.
I looked at myself in the mirror, striking a pose or two. A physique check is a must before and after every workout.
Then the work began. After so many years of doing this, I needed to increase the difficulty for each workout.
Instead of 100 normal pushups, I do 100 one-arm pushups with a little hop at every extension.
Instead of 100 normal sit-ups, I do 100 upside-down sit-ups on that pull-up thingy while holding a 40 kilogram medicine ball. Instead of a normal 10km run on the treadmill, I do 10km at Maximum Incline!
Then I finish off the workout with 100 Russian squats while holding up 80 kilograms.
After my daily morning workout, I took a quick shower to get ready for school. Of course, I didn't miss my post-workout physique check.
"It's so unfortunate no one will ever see what a fine specimen I am beneath my clothes."
Even when compressed the weights made my clothes look lumpy, so I have always worn baggy clothing, clothing that was slightly too big for me. It did help that I wasn't super bulk, I had that sleeper physique.
I threw on some clothes I chose from one of the numerous random piles lying around my room, I put them on only after the sniff test, obviously.
I grabbed my school bag and took a final glance at my room before heading downstairs for breakfast.
Numerous piles of dirty and/or clean clothing lay around, some hanging on furniture I had forgotten the use for, and puddles of sweat and damp, sweaty towels in the workout area.
The signature fragrance of sweat mixed with fermented farts, windows closed, so the smell would continue to brew for generations to come and curtains closed so the opps can't snipe me.
Bang ! Thump! Bang! Bang!
"Hm?"
The constant banging coming from inside my closet, not sure what's inside there, but to be safe, I did wrap a chain around it and lock it with a lock and key.
That's probably why I don't use my closet any more.
"Yeah, everything seems to be in order."
Don't worry my bathroom was spotless, a dirty bathroom would be a bit too much.
I closed the door behind me and went down for breakfast.
It was around 7 AM. Mom and Dad were already sitting at the table; Dad was in his suit, ready for work, and Mom was a housewife who always dressed well, wanting to look sexy(?) for her husband.
Dad was reading the morning newspaper with his reading glasses on. He was a muscular African middle-aged man with a well-kept beard and dreadlocks that reached his shoulders. His clothes looked like they would tear at the seams every time he made the slightest movement.
"Morning."
I greeted my parents as I took my seat at the small round dining table, fit for just the three of us.
"Good morning, sweetie"
"Morning, son."
Dad greeted me in a Stoic tone. His hazel brown eyes looked into mine for a brief moment, then he returned to reading his newspaper.
Mom sat with us as soon as she finished setting the table, a mountains worth of pancakes was on each of our plates, the syrup came down like river streams. The three of us consumed a lot more food than our bodies would make out, what was on the table is what we would call 'a light breakfast'.
"Honey, put down your newspaper, now is family time."
Dad immediately put the paper to the side and sized up his plate. We started eating and talking about... stuff. I wasn't really paying attention to what my parents were talking about, my focus was on stuffing as many pancakes in my in the shortest amount of time.
Why?
To see at exactly how long and at what number pancake would I get a stomach ache or indigestion.
Why?
Research.
For?
Future use.
As I was just about to reach a breakthrough in my research I was interrupted by a rather troubling question.
"Sweetie, when are you going to clean out your room?"
"Soon,"
Though she had her usual motherly, welcoming smile, a vein could be seen bulging on my mom's forehead. We've had this conversation on multiple occasions, by the current state of my room anyone could tell those conversations ended.
"When?"
"I have it on my calendar."
'It really is on my calendar; I just don't know where it is. If I can find it, I'll know exactly on which day not to be home.'
"How do you even sleep in such a messy room, let alone find anything?"
"Mom, it's not messy, I have a system. I know exactly where everything is."
"Can you find your floor? What colour is it?"
"My floor is... that red hardwood colour that almost looks like brown."
"We don't have hardwood floors in this house, son."
Dad looked at me both confused and astonished.
"You had a fluffy white carpet in your room."
Mom corrected.
'I did?'
"Clean out your room today when you get home from school!"
Mom commanded
"Will you look at the time, dad let's go or we're gonna be late."
I masterfully ended the conversation and quickly ran to the car parked outside.
I was already out of sight when mom shouted,
"You know one day you'll need to clean that room!?"
'I hope that day is far, far away or better yet it never comes.'
Admittedly, there are certain things in my room that I'm not sure I want to touch. I'm pretty sure some good portion of my room is radioactive or is leaking some form of nuclear waste.
The car dad chose to go to work with today just so happened to be LaFerrari. I jumped in through the passenger door window and threw my backpack under the seat, all while my parents were at the front door in each other's arms, whispering sweet nothing's. It was like they weren't going to see each other again this afternoon, as if they would see each other after a decade or so.
Mom suddenly stood on her toes and faced upwards with a pout. Dad slightly bent down, his arms wrapped around Mom, he lifted her.
They kissed
"Gross,"
I muttered to myself, I didn't need to see that.
"I heard that!"
My parents said at the same time, mom continued,
"There was a lot more gross happened for you to be born, now come here and give me a proper goodbye."
"Eww,"
I stepped out of the car and walked back to the door unwillingly.
Mom gave me a tight hug and her signature kiss on the forehead.
"Done, now go away."
Mom shooed me away, I walked back to the car amused by her behaviour.
"You know one of these days this hugging and forehead kissing business has to stop. I'm 16 remember?"
"It'll stop the day you decide to clean your room."
"That's not fair, you're fully aware that day will never come!"
The truth slipped out.
"Since you've said so, my hugging and forehead kissing business will continue. "
"If you plan to shut it down, this bombshell of a mom will have no choice but to have a 'going out of business' sale, which means. For one month only, I kiss your forehead whenever I get the chance. When you're asleep, at breakfast, lunch, and dinner, when you're in the shower or on the toilet. Nowhere is off limits!"
"....Mom..."
"Yes, my offspring?"
"Your love is terrifying."