I had 38 goddamn years of my life wasted. Thirty-eight years of crawling through the mud, barely surviving. And for what? For a boss who treated me like trash? For a wife who'd rather screw the first man that winked at her? What a joke.
---
I'm Thomald—just Thomald. No fancy middle name, no impressive title. A 38-year-old office worker stuck in the worst dead-end job imaginable. Every day felt like a battle, except I never won. And my boss? That guy made Satan look like a saint.
"THOMALD! YOU SLACKING OFF AGAIN?" His voice blasted through the office, cutting through the usual hum of keyboards like a wrecking ball.
"No, sir! I was just—"
Boom. Before I could even finish, his shiny leather shoe slammed into my gut. My breath shot out of me like I'd been punched by a heavyweight. I stumbled, barely managing to stay on my feet. But of course, he wasn't done.
He pulled out a crumpled five-dollar bill, the kind you'd probably find in the bottom of a trash can. He let it flutter to the floor, like some grand gesture. "Pick it up, pig."
I reached for it, my hands trembling, but before I could grab it, bam—he stomped on my face.
"HAH! Filthy loser."
And the worst part? The cherry on top of this humiliation sundae? The boss wasn't just a sadist. He was also the guy who'd been screwing my wife. Yeah, that wife. The one who swore to love me forever.
"Oh, honey," she cooed, draping herself over him like some overpriced shawl. "Don't waste your time on that filthy creature. You should be spending all your time on me~."
I wanted to throw up. Or scream. Or die.
"Oh? You want more of me, you slut?" he sneered, pulling her closer.
I clenched my fists so hard my nails dug into my palms, but I stayed silent. What could I even say? They'd already won.
"You can go home now," he barked, as if doing me a favor.
"Y-yes, sir."
---
I stumbled out of the office, the cool midnight air slapping me in the face. My stomach churned, but I didn't bother eating. What was the point? The streets were quiet, the kind of eerie silence that gets under your skin. My thoughts spiraled, dragging me deeper into the pit I was already stuck in.
I kept walking, my head down, when I heard someone shout behind me.
"H-hey! Watch out! Above you!"
"Huh?" I looked up, and that's when I saw it—a flower vase. A freaking flower vase, falling from a balcony.
Crash.
It smashed into my skull, and the world went dark. Just like that, my pathetic excuse of a life was over.
---
I don't know how long I floated in that black void. Seconds? Minutes? Hours? Time didn't seem to matter here. Everything was just... nothing. An endless, suffocating nothing. It was like the universe had taken my misery and multiplied it, trapping me in a personal hell of loneliness and despair.
Then, out of nowhere, a voice cut through the silence.
"Hah, you lived a pretty useless life, didn't you, mate?"
I jolted—or at least, I think I did. Did I even have a body anymore? "W-who's there?!"
"Relax, kid. I'm Alfönzé. The Frājïn," the voice said, calm but powerful, like it was used to being in charge.
"The... what?"
"The Frājïn. Let's just say I'm a cosmic entity, and I'm here to offer you a deal."
A deal? What kind of deal?
"I'm gonna reincarnate you into another world," Alfönzé explained casually, like he did this kind of thing every Tuesday.
Another world? Like in those isekai light novels? I blinked—or at least I think I did. "You can do that?"
"Of course," Alfönzé said smugly. "But there's a catch. You and I will have to become one."
"Become... one?" I echoed, confused. "What does that even mean?"
"Our consciousnesses will merge," he clarified, like it was no big deal.
I thought about it—or, more accurately, I didn't. What did I even have to lose? My old life was garbage. If this was a scam, it couldn't possibly be worse than the hell I'd already lived through.
"So, if I agree, I get reincarnated into another world?"
"Exactly."
"Then I accept."
Alfönzé paused. "... That was fast."
"Why wouldn't it be?" I snapped. "I've got nothing left to lose."
"You're the first human to accept this quickly. Heck, you're the first one to accept at all!"
"Yeah, yeah, just do it already," I said, getting impatient.
"Alright, kid. You asked for it."
"□€$\◇■||￦￦£●"□◇\£[{\♧"."
A series of incomprehensible words echoed in the void, and suddenly, a red light enveloped me. It wasn't warm or cold—just overwhelming, like it was rewriting my very existence.
And just like that, I felt it. My consciousness merging with his. Memories, emotions, knowledge—it all hit me like a freight train. This wasn't just a chance to start over. It was a chance to rewrite everything.
"Welcome to your new life," Alfönzé said, his voice blending with mine.
---
When I opened my eyes—or rather, when I could open them—I was greeted by a bright, blurry world. Everything felt wrong. My arms? Tiny. My legs? Practically useless.
"What the—"
Before I could finish that thought, a soft, warm hand scooped me up. A woman's voice cooed, full of warmth and love.
Wait. Was I... a baby?
No way. No. Freaking. Way.