"Cromwell, huh? Damn, I wanted it to end with Gust. At least he felt more genuine. But whatever, I don't fucking care anymore."
I just wanted to end this trash game.
My lifeless, bored eyes stared at the PC screen glowing dimly in the dark.
Unaware to me, it was already night. How long had I been playing? Hours? Days?
Hmm, I fucking don't know anymore.
It's been so long that time just blends into this mess of my routine, wake up, play, order food when I just feel like it, and then grind again.
Sleep when sleep comes, Nothing else matters.
And honestly?
It's not even that bad. This is your average gamer's life.
As a matter of fact, I'm not some loser leeching off anyone. Every single thing I have, I earned myself. This apartment, this PC, the overpriced takeout, it's all paid for with my own damn money.
The majority of it comes from the royalties of, by chance hit novel I once wrote.
I've never been dependent on anyone and never needed to be.
Yet here I am, still single.
Grilfriendless.
Meanwhile, those dudes who can't even pay for their own basic shit?
Tsk! They aren't even real, dripping in overpriced skincare and makeup, all to look flawless for the flock of girls chasing after them.
Man come on.
Have you ever thought about how much that lifestyle costs?
Their routine alone burns through double what I spent on this high-end gaming PC.
And for what? To impress? To keep up appearances? And the worst part is they are normalizing this fake assness.
This so-called modern society wants you to be a people-pleaser.
Look around, you won't find even a single soul without added Filters and Makeup so caked-on that even they wouldn't recognize their bare faces in the mirror.
Like seriously,
It's not just the looks, either. It's their entire vibe, their attitude, the fake-ass persona they try to portray, this all moulded by social media trends.
Like some bullshit, trends go viral because of young teens, yeah acting nonchalant, being cold, yeah this sigma mentality and now these cool, popular boys would just act like that.
Their social persona changes based on what's trending on social media.
And the worst part is these fucker, who act all mature and successful while still begging their dad for rent money. These assholes look at someone like me and call me a failure.
A shut-in. A fucking NEET. But think about it, I'm fully independent. I don't owe anyone shit.
Still, by society's bullshit standards, I'm the loser. I'm the outcast.
Just because I don't follow their bullshit rules, I don't act fake. I do what I want to do.
See, this is the real truth of the so-called modern, liberal society we live in.
It's exhausting.
I sighed, slumping back in my chair. Guess this is just me ranting because I've got nothing better to do now.
That's what these otome games do, leave you feeling hollow and lonely. Then you're left scrolling through your library, looking for the next thing to kill time.
My cursor lingered on the specific shortcut on my desktop...
[Po** **b]
No, I won't break my no-nut streak. But fuck it. If I can't find a girl by the end of this month, I'll just hire a prostitute.
I don't give a damn of what people will think...
I am bored.
And mostly, I felt empty.
I don't even feel like talking to my friends.
I don't know why, but sometimes you just need someone to share things with. Or, if not share, at least spend time with.
No, it doesn't have to be a romantic partner. Maybe family would work too.
A sister.
An older one would probably just be a pain in the ass. But what if I had a little sister?
I know I'm just thinking nonsense.
But.
A little sister. At times when you're lonely or frustrated, having a little sister would be the best, right? You could irritate her and then run away.
Or just trouble her in some other way.
Not that I'd know, though, I've never had a sibling. But those dramas and TV shows always make it seem that way.
Maybe having someone like that around would give my life some meaning, a purpose.
Right now, it just feels like a waste.
I know what I need to do.
Shutting down my PC, I quickly got up and started packing my bags.
This isn't the first time I've felt this way. Every six months or so, I reach a breaking point. I feel so cooped up like I'm suffocating. That's when I know it's time,
I need to leave my apartment and take a trip.
Anywhere is fine.
A trip to a foreign country isn't possible, too much pre-booking, visas, and hassle. Also, it's exhausting.
Instead, I like to board a long-distance train. No plans, no destination in mind. Just ride it to the end of the line, spending a few days wherever it takes me, until I feel like coming back.
It sounds absurd, but the idea always excites me. The adventure, the thrill, the mystery of not knowing the destination.
It's fun.
Grabbing everything I might need, I packed my bag. This wasn't my first time, I've done this for years.
So, I always keep myself somewhat prepared.
Flicker!
Just as I was about to step outside, a flickering sound made me turn back.
It was my PC.
Which I'd just shut down and unplugged. Yet there it was, making strange noises.
Before I could process it, the screen turned on, showing nothing but a bright blue display. Then the blue shifted into a dark, red sea.
No, not water. It looked thick, like blood.
I frowned, it was confusing. Even if it were a virus, how could the PC be running without power?
My mind wandered to urban legends I'd heard about.
"Is it you, John?"
I didn't know who John was really, but my neighbours once told me about a guy who lived here before me. He was a shut-in, like me, and... he'd died by suicide years ago.
Great.
This was the problem with me.
Whenever I find myself in unexplainable situations, my brain pulls out such random, creepy ass memories to make the moment even worse.
I squinted at the screen to get a better look. Slowly, the shape of a woman appeared.
She floated on the Red Sea like a lifeless body.
But she was beautiful.
Long black hair. Maybe brown eyes. Her features weren't unique, but they framed a face so striking it was hard to look away.
Wait.
Isn't this "Elowen Blackthorne?"
The main villainess of Seraph Chronicles.
What is she doing here?
Isn't she supposed to be dead?
As I stared at the screen, her mouth opened faintly, and she began to mumble.
Her voice wasn't loud, but I could hear it, not with my ears, but directly in my mind.
"Why? What did I do to deserve this? They all came to oppose me. Why wasn't it a happy ending for me? So empty… If there had been at least one person on my side, it wouldn't have been so sad…"
Tears streamed down her face, yet her expression stayed cold, stern.
"Huh?"
Before I could process what was happening, the PC exploded.
Taking everything with it.
Even me.