Lady Celeste Varrow was halfway through her third cup of poisoned tea when it hit her. Yep, she finally realized it. She wasn't just a woman suffering from an acute lack of taste and a death wish with her choice of beverage, she was simply trapped in a novel.
Not some whimsical little romance or anything remotely pleasant. No, she was stuck in "The Crimson Heir" the trashiest, most predictable tragic romance ever written. A novel overflowing with unexplained betrayal, heartbreak, and, of course, her own gruesome, soul-crushing death. How nice of her luck.
The realization didn't come all at once. No, it 'crept' up on her slowly, just like everything else in her miserable existence.
It started with the toxic atmosphere in the room. With her stepmother glaring at her like she was the only blemish on her perfect porcelain face. The half-sister sneering as if Celeste was the dirt beneath her boots. And then, there was the Crown Prince, looming in the background, glaring at her like he was preparing to toss her into a fire for fun. Ah, yes, the good old Crown Prince. How utterly 'charming'
And then, of course, there was the name. 'Celeste Varrow.'
How she had managed to miss this glaringly obvious detail was beyond her. 'Celeste Varrow' was the villainess of the entire book, the woman who met her brutal and unceremonious end by chapter twenty. How utterly fitting. The only thing she could thank the gods for was that at least this revelation didn't arrive with a dramatic soundtrack. And really, who needed it? Her life was already a bad opera.
She set her teacup down with the grace of a woman who was probably about to throw it into the face of some poor sap just to get her life over with.
[System Activated.]
Oh, and here it came, the worst insult of all: the system. The stupid, mocking system that was somehow still pretending like she had a choice in this disaster of a life.
"What in the…"
「Welcome, Host. You have been selected for the Villainess Reformation System. Your objective: avoid all death flags, repair your reputation, and achieve a happy ending. Current status: Critical.」
Critical. What a charming word. A clear message, sent directly to her brain, that death was right around the corner and there was nothing she could do about it. How perfectly Celeste.
"Critical?" she muttered, her voice laced with the sarcasm that only someone in her position could muster. What was the system going to do now? Give her a cookie and tell her she was doing great?
「You are moments away from a major death flag. Recommendation: Apologize to the Crown Prince.」
Oh, yes, of course. How could she forget? This was the moment when she was supposed to throw wine in his face like some overdramatic idiot and accuse him of ruining her life. She could already see it, the dramatic music building as her dramatic exit was staged for her grand and inevitable fall. How predictable.
Instead, like an absolute moron, she found herself standing up and plastering the fakest, most cringeworthy smile onto her face, one that screamed "Please, just end my suffering already."
"Your Highness," she said, crossing the ballroom like she was trudging her way to the guillotine.
The crowd gasped. Of course they did. What else could they possibly do when watching this disaster unfold? They were all likely placing bets on how fast she'd self-destruct.
The Crown Prince arched a dark brow, the look in his eyes clearly asking, "Why am I even bothering?"
"Lady Varrow."
"I owe you an apology," she said, her voice dripping with the kind of fake sweetness one could only muster when trying to salvage an utterly irredeemable situation.
He blinked. "You… what?"
"I've been foolish," she said, pretending that anything about her life was worth apologizing for. "My emotions led me astray. Forgive me for any harm I've done."
The room fell silent. Oh, how she longed to check the system to make sure it was giving her the proper amount of credit for this utter disaster. How embarrassing.
And just as she was about to die from the sheer secondhand embarrassment she was sure they were all feeling for her, the Crown Prince surprisingly smiled. Not the type of a smile of kindness or understanding. No, it was a smile that seemed to say, "I'm tolerating you, because I'm not sure what else to do with your pathetic existence."
"Consider it forgotten," he said.
Celeste quickly curtsied, hurrying away like the graceless fool she was.
Congratulations, Host! Major death flag avoided. +50 Reputation with the Crown Prince.
She sighed, realizing that nothing in her life was ever going to come easy. This whole "avoiding doom" thing? Yeah, it was going to be a living nightmare.
---
Finally alone in her room, Celeste glared at the glowing interface like it was the most irritating thing in existence. And, well, it probably was.
"System," she muttered bitterly, "do you have any plans to keep me alive, or are you just here to watch me implode?"
「Affirmative. Step one: Build alliances. Step two: Gain the Crown Prince's trust. Step three: Uncover the true villain.」
Great. Build alliances. As if she wasn't already a pariah in her own story. The court was probably placing bets on how long it would take before she completely ruined her own life. And as for gaining the Crown Prince's trust? Did the system really think she could convince that iceberg of a man to trust her?
"The true villain?" she asked, voice full of mocking disbelief.
「Spoiler alert: It's not you.」
"Well, how comforting," Celeste said, the words practically dripping with sarcasm, rolling her eyes that can look at the back of her empty head. "Who is it, then?"
「Information locked. Unlock requirements: +75 Reputation with the Crown Prince.」
She groaned dramatically, flopping onto her bed like the world had decided to trap her in a never-ending cycle of misfortune. "Of course. Of course it's locked."
And then, as if the system was mocking her, a knock came at the door. Because, of course, now someone needed her attention.
"Enter," she snapped, sitting up, already wishing the floor would open up and swallow her.
The door creaked open, revealing the Crown Prince, his sharp features now on display in the worst possible way.
"Your Highness?" she asked, the words escaping her lips like a pleading mouse.
He stepped inside, closing the door behind him.
"Lady Varrow," he said, his voice a perfect mixture of cold indifference and barely-concealed annoyance. "We need to talk."
Oh, perfect. Celeste's mind raced. Was this another death flag? Or was it simply her being summoned to her inevitable doom?
"Of course," she replied, standing up with all the enthusiasm of a condemned criminal walking to the gallows.
The Prince looked at her, his eyes narrowing
"You're different," he said, his voice chillingly matter-of-fact. "Not like the rumors suggest."
Oh, great. Was that a compliment? Was he mocking her, or was she just that pathetic that even he had no idea how to deal with her?
"Your Highness, I…"
He raised a hand, cutting her off. "Watch your steps," he warned, his voice low and dangerous. "The court doesn't take kindly to mistakes."
Did they? Celeste had been one long, walking mistake ever since her first breath.
"I'll remember that," she muttered, not even sure if it was a promise or just a desperate plea for this nightmare to end.
The Prince turned to leave. However, he glanced back at her just once, with a look that screamed "good riddance."
"Good night, Lady Varrow."
As the door closed, Celeste let out the breath she had been holding in ever since his first words.
「+10 Reputation with the Crown Prince. Current Reputation: 60.」
"This is going to be a nightmare" Celeste sinks into her bed, fully aware that surviving this hellscape would be more impossible than a miracle from Moses parting the Red Sea.