Oh my! It's terribly hot in our township during the summer. I was sitting in the counter, wearing big shorts and with my upper body bare, playing the game of Fight the Landlord on my mobile phone.
My Fight the Landlord app is really something special. It's unique and only exists on my phone. And it only starts at eleven o'clock at night. Although it seems that there are different players every day, actually, there are just a few regular ones. If you ask who they are, well, I have to keep it a secret. That's the rule in our mysterious "card-playing circle".
Today, the two players I played with were nicknamed "Old Chen" and "Old Wang". Oh my goodness! Their card-playing skills were just terrible. They had played for such a long time, but it was like they had no memory at all and hadn't improved at all. Well, tonight I was really lucky and almost beat them every round, winning a lot of "silver coins". The virtual currency we used in the game is called "silver coins". Although it can't be exchanged for RMB, it can be exchanged for a rather mysterious special integral.
"Damn it! I'm almost losing my underpants. I won't play anymore." Old Wang sent such an angry message. When I saw it, I couldn't help laughing and thought to myself that he must be really mad after losing.
Then Old Chen followed up with a message: "Old Wang, control your temper. That kid Linshu won't get away with winning from us for nothing. After work, let's go to his place and get some health products." At that time, I couldn't help cursing in my heart: "Damn it! You two are so shameless. Every time you lose, you always think about taking things from my store. The 'silver coins' I won with so much effort are even less than what you two took away. But I can't afford to offend you two devils. Just from the way you call me, I can tell that you two are the big bad wolves and I'm the poor little sheep, completely at your mercy."
My small store is just a tiny self-service grocery store with only one storefront. It's firmly closed during the day and only opens for business at eleven o'clock at night. The things sold in the store are not for humans. Don't be fooled by those daily necessities and health products with famous brand labels on them. In fact, I made them all by myself, and the stuff inside is specially prepared for demons and ghosts.
That's right. My grocery store is specifically opened for demons and ghosts. Isn't it strange? Speaking of why I opened this store, well, it's a long story. Let's make it short. The elders in my family for several generations were all "Guo Yin Ren", which means they were errand runners in the underworld. I don't know which elder had such a wild idea and came up with the idea of specializing in running a business of dead ghosts' supplies. Well, you know what? Since the store opened, the business has been booming. The goods in the store are often in short supply. Especially those health products, there are even condoms among them, and they sell really well.
Some people may ask: "Do dead ghosts also use condoms?" Oh my! How interesting! Dead ghosts may not only carry infectious diseases but also might get pregnant. Scary, right? And some people may ask: "Dead ghosts use ghost money to buy things. How do you spend it?" It's simple. I exchange the ghost money for "silver coins", and then use the "silver coins" to exchange for special integrals. Then according to the exchange value, every month, there will be an extra sum of money automatically added to my bank account. This is a way to make money opened up by our ancestors. Everything was well thought out. It's just that in my generation, I don't want to be a "Guo Yin Ren" and run errands in the underworld anymore. It's too tiring. But I still have to keep this store open because it's the only one of its kind in the world and it's really profitable. The previous store was an old-fashioned one, and now I've transformed it into a modern grocery store, which looks quite decent.
The weather was so hot that even though I was bare-chested and there was a broken desktop fan in the store slowly turning, I was still sweating all over. I just stood up and was thinking of using cold water to cool myself down when suddenly, a customer came to the door.
"Robbery!" Oh my god! When I looked up, there was a robber standing there. There was a stocking covering his (or her) head and a pistol in his (or her) hand. He (or she) looked both funny and scary. I had no choice but to raise my hands helplessly, thinking to myself: "Why did I have to encounter this?"
"Hand over all your money obediently!" The robber's voice was so shrill that it was obvious it was a woman. So I took a careful look at her body. Although she was wearing a man's shirt and jeans, the clothes were thin in summer, and her figure was curvy, so it was clear that she was a girl. I was really curious at that time and thought to myself: "Oh my god! Has the world changed? Since when did female robbers become so popular?"
I didn't panic at all and said slowly: "The store hasn't opened for business today. There's not a single penny. But the business at Old Wang's place next door is really good, and he can meet all kinds of needs of robbers there."
The female robber actually believed it and quickly asked: "Old Wang next door? How can I get there?"
I pointed to the right side with my mouth and said: "Turn right when you go out, then turn right again. When you enter the door, there are two passages on the left and right. I suggest you take the right one."
The female robber replied with an "Oh" and quickly walked out. I secretly laughed in my heart, thinking: "Silly girl, you've been tricked." Then I took a towel to wipe my body. But who would have thought that two minutes later, the female robber came back angrily.
"You bastard! You lied to me. That's a public toilet!" She got really angry and shouted at me with her eyes wide open: "Believe it or not, I'll shoot you dead!"
I continued to wipe my body and said nonchalantly: "I don't believe it."
"Why?" She was stunned, probably wondering why I was so calm.
I curled my lips and said: "Because that's just a toy pistol. You still want to scare me with it. Hahaha."
"How... how did you know?" She immediately deflated like a punctured balloon, and all her arrogance disappeared. Standing there, she looked really embarrassed.
I shook my head triumphantly and said: "Stop talking nonsense. It's still time for you to leave now. If you run into some lecherous ghosts among my customers later, it'll be a small matter if you can't leave, but if you get taken advantage of by them, that'll be a big deal." After saying that, I threw the towel into the washbasin, took out a cigarette and lit it. I looked really cool.
"You're so mean!" She gritted her teeth and said this angrily, then turned around and walked out of the store again. I sat back in the counter with a cigarette in my mouth, thinking to myself: "Where did this stupid girl come from? She's a robber like this, and it's lucky that she wasn't robbed by me instead. Oh, I should have pulled off the stocking on her head just now to see what this fool looks like."
Hey, who would have thought that while I was thinking about this, she came back again. I was shocked and said: "Damn it! Are you so unwilling to be robbed by me that you came back again?"
This time when she came back, it was different. She took off the stocking on her head, and a head of wavy long hair fell down. Between the strands of hair, a face was revealed. Her face was pale yet beautiful. I was stunned at the sight and thought to myself: "Oh my! This girl is really pretty. She's no worse than those famous actresses. Hmm, should I rob her once too? Hehe."
"What are you staring at? Haven't you seen a beautiful girl before?" She panicked and walked around the counter and stood behind me. I was confused at that time and thought to myself: "What's going on? Is she asking to be robbed? But I'm not ready for this yet."
I was just about to turn my head to look at her when suddenly, a thick black air surged up outside the store door. The originally stuffy room instantly became cool. I was startled and thought to myself: "Oh no! There are ghosts coming. And it seems that they're not here to buy things. It must be this Shangguan Nanxi (yes, I just learned that the female robber's name is Shangguan Nanxi, hehe) who attracted them here."
Although I have a so-so relationship with the underworld and I just played Fight the Landlord with Old Chen and Old Wang, it's too late to get any help now. I was wondering whether I should use the skills I've learned for more than ten years to scare these guys away. Hey, this Shangguan Nanxi suddenly put her arm around my neck and shouted towards the outside: "This is my husband. Don't even think about bothering me. The money we owe you will be paid back by my husband in a few days."
I almost spat out a mouthful of blood at that time and thought to myself: "You want me to be your husband? You should have told me in advance. This is too sudden. I'm just an innocent victim here."
After Shangguan Nanxi finished speaking, the black air outside the door didn't move at all, and the temperature in the room was getting lower and lower. Obviously, they didn't intend to leave. I got angry at this. After all, my grocery store is quite famous in the underworld. No matter who it is, they should at least give me some face. So I gritted my teeth, opened the drawer, took out a bunch of incense, lit it with a lighter, pinched a finger gesture with my left hand, and whispered: "Heaven and earth are profound. The root of all qi. Golden light appears quickly. Protect the true person." After chanting, I threw the bunch of incense outside the door. The incense scattered on the ground, and the smoke drifted around. It looked quite impressive.
I said seriously: "For my sake, let's just stop what's going on today. These incense are offered to you all. Just disperse now!"
However, the black air outside the door still didn't move at all. But I knew in my heart that they were weighing the pros and cons. I just needed to give them some time. Sure enough, after dozens of seconds, the black air slowly dispersed. The outside returned to the peaceful night, and the temperature in the store also started to rise.
Shangguan Nanxi finally took a deep breath. I angrily shook off her arm and said: "I'll help you this time. Don't even think about it next time. Just leave now!"
"How can I leave?" She turned to my side, widened her beautiful eyes and looked at me, looking rather aggrieved. She said: "I've hugged you and admitted that you're my husband. You've taken advantage of me. Are you trying to drive me away so quickly?"
I almost fell down on the ground at that time and said with a wry smile: "What do you mean by saying that I took advantage of you and now I'm trying to drive you away? It sounds like I really robbed you. If anyone took advantage, it was you who took advantage of me, okay?"
"Are you leaving or not? If you don't leave, I'll call the police." Suddenly, I became suspicious of her. Her face was so pale that it lacked the vitality of a living person. She really looked like a ghost.
"Call the police?" She snorted twice and said with a sly look on her face: "Go ahead and call the police. I'll say that you molested me and took off my stocking. Look, that's the evidence." As she said that, she pointed to the stocking on the counter. She looked so smug that I was really troubled by her. I originally wanted to scare her, but unexpectedly, she turned the tables on me.
I didn't want to waste any more words with her. I directly grabbed her arm and dragged her outside, saying: "Let's go, let's go. Don't make trouble here."
"Help! Molestation! Molestation!" She shouted at the top of her lungs. I was so scared that I quickly let go of her and asked rather headache: "What on earth do you want?"
"To be your wife! If you don't marry me, I won't leave!" She crossed her arms in front of her chest, looking like she was determined to stick to me. I was completely speechless at that time and thought to myself: "What kind of bad luck did I have to meet such a person?"