The dawn light pricked my eyes, and though I'd slept soundly, a knot of worry twisted in my stomach. Lin Jian wasn't beside me. Panic bloomed, a sharp, cold dread. Where had he gone? My heart hammered a frantic rhythm against my ribs.
I stumbled out of the tent, searching for any sign of him. My gaze swept the clearing, the silent forest, the distant mountains. Nothing. Fear clawed at my throat, a suffocating monster. Was my inner demon awakening? Had I hurt him somehow? My breath came in shallow gasps, my vision blurring. The red aura pulsed around me, a tangible manifestation of my mounting fury.
But before I could be consumed by it, a voice cut through the haze. "Yinou? Come on, say something."
I spun around, relief washing over me like a tidal wave. It was him. The rising sun glinted off his hair, making him look almost ethereal. "It's still dawn! Maybe still night! Where have you been?" I demanded, my voice trembling.
"It's already morning! Good morning!" he said, his smile dazzling. "What a weirdo," I muttered, rolling my eyes.
I turned to go back inside, but he stopped me. '
"Here, protect your skin with this." He handed me a hat, a veil woven into its brim. "The sun will be extra hot today. We should wear these," he explained. "It's a good thing, though. There will be a lot of stars tonight."
"Stargazing, what do you say?" I suggested, a small smile tugging at my lips.
"No. We should get going, and get there as soon as possible," he said, his tone firm.
"Kill joy," I mumbled, but resigned myself to the fact that stars weren't that exciting anyway.
We began our journey, the silence broken only by the rhythmic thud of our horses' hooves. A few minutes into the trail, I noticed my horse faltering. "Wait. My horse, it's not well."
Lin Jian halted, his brows furrowing as he examined the animal. "It's sick," he said, his voice devoid of emotion. He then proceeded to remove the horse's gear and lead it away.
He returned a short time later. "I killed it," he said simply.
Shock froze me. A wave of nausea washed over me. He had always been heartless, I knew that. But the cold finality of his words pierced through me, leaving a raw wound. I should move on from him. I should let go.
I remained silent for the rest of the ride, my gaze fixed on the horizon. Lin Jian rode beside me, his horse now carrying both of our gear.
We passed a shimmering lake, and Lin Jian dismounted, scooping water into a leather pouch for me. The sunlight danced on the surface, refracting into a thousand shimmering diamonds.
A quiet peace settled over me, momentarily forgetting the harsh reality of our journey.
That night we settled in a mountain hill, started a fire and went fishing for dinner.
The fire crackled merrily, casting a warm glow on Lin Jian's face as he concentrated on grilling the fish. I was famished, my stomach growling louder than the flames.
To ease the tense atmosphere I spoke, "You shouldn't have killed the horse."
"You believed it?" he let out a small laugh. He lied?
He handed me a flaky piece, and I eagerly took a bite.
A choked gasp escaped my throat. "Ugh!" I sputtered, my eyes watering. Lin Jian's hand instinctively came to my back, patting firmly.
"Careful," he began, but I cut him off. "It's so bitter!" I cried out, the awful taste clinging to my tongue.
"What are you, a drama queen?" Lin Jian's hand dropped back to his lap, an exasperated roll of his eyes the only response he offered.
Minutes later, I choked again, this time for real. A fishbone lodged stubbornly in my throat. I clawed at my neck, my breaths becoming ragged whistles. I saw Lin Jian watching me, a bored expression on his face. He probably thought I was being dramatic again. But I couldn't breathe, couldn't stop the panicked shudders wracking my body.
Suddenly, my vision swam with black spots. The pain in my throat intensified, morphing into a searing agony that spread throughout my body. I fell to the ground, thrashing, a strangled cry escaping my lips.
Then, I wasn't myself anymore. Lin Jian's concerned face swam into view, blurry and distorted. My vision was tinged with red, rage coursing through my veins. Oh no! It's the curse. I leaped at him, a feral snarl ripping from my throat, pinning him to the ground. My hands, no, claws, raked across his chest, again and again. His blood splattered against my face, metallic and hot.
"Blockhead.." a choking voice managed to uttered, "Wake up, you'll really kill me in this state..."
And then, abruptly, I was back. The rage receded, leaving behind a chilling emptiness. Lin Jian lay beneath me, his chest a mangled mess, his breaths shallow.
"Sorry..Lin Jian, sorry.." I scrambled back, horror flooding me. I had hurt him, again. But this time... this time felt different. The blood staining my hands, his pained gasps, it all felt terrifyingly real. Where had I seen this before?
Memories, fragmented and sharp, pierced through the fog in my mind. The dungeon, the fear in his eyes as I attacked him, his desperate pleas for me to fight the curse. It was exact like this... It wasn't a dream. It all really happened.
I had attacked him and killed several of his men that day he brought me into the dungeon..I lived worry free, thinking it was all a dream. That and this was reality.
Guilt, heavy and suffocating, constricted my chest. I saw the same disgust, the same fear in his eyes that I had seen that day in the dungeon. He looked at me like I was a monster. And maybe I was.
Panicked, I fled, his heartbroken gaze burning into my back. I ran until my lungs screamed for air, until I collapsed beneath the sheltering branches of a giant oak. I needed to regain control, to suppress the demon within.
But even as I focused my energy, my mind returned to Lin Jian. I had to see if he was alright. My heart lurched painfully when I found him. He was barely clinging to life, his skin ashen, his breaths shallow and ragged.
Panic seized me. I couldn't lose him. Not like this. Not because of me.
Without hesitation, I channeled the immortal energy residing within me, pouring it into his broken body. It was a desperate gamble, one that left me feeling unbearably drained, like I was fading away. It didn't matter. He had to live.
As the last vestiges of my energy flowed into him, a single tear escaped his closed eyelid.
No, I whispered, my voice hoarse and thin. "Don't cry. I hate it." And then, faintly, I heard it the steady thump of his heartbeat. Relief washed over me, immense and overwhelming.
A strange emptiness settled over me. It wasn't painful, not exactly. It was a nothingness, a sense of being untethered and adrift. What would become of me? I didn't know. But as I looked at Lin Jian's pale face, now regaining a sliver of color, I knew this was the only choice I could make.