I spotted a familiar face in the distance, it was Susu. Not the Susu from my reality, but a Susu from this alternate world. Among the faces in this realm, some were recognizable from my own world. I surmised that the mirror was enabling me to live out her life through my current circumstances and with familiar acquaintances.
Respecting the flow of fate in this life, I hesitated to challenge it, wary of unintentionally changing its course. Embracing the role of a scholar in this new realm, I pursued her dream to study. Over time, I have settled into this world, finding kindness from Lin Jian, a well-off merchant who not only supported my academic pursuits but also hid my hidden identity as a woman.
Once he brought me dumplings, just like the Lin Jian in my memory, I sighed, looking at the steaming basket in my hands. He even remembers my preference for vinegar.
"Yinuo, you seem lost in thought," a voice said gently. The mirror version of Lin Jian, was sitting across from me , his brow furrowed with concern.
"It's nothing," I mumbled, avoiding his gaze. "Just... reminiscing."
He tilted his head, his expression curious. "About your family?"
I swallowed hard, choosing my words carefully. "No, it's... about a person I knew back in my village. Someone who was kind to me, just like you are now."
Lin Jian smiled, a warmth spreading across his features. "I am glad to be of service. But I am not just being kind out of duty. I enjoy spending time with you, fair lady."
His words stung. The real Lin Jian, the one in my memories, had never shown so much affection. He had been just the Lin Jian that I knew.
The way this Lin Jian looked at me, the way he spoke, it felt... different. Dangerous.
"You shouldn't say things like that," I said, forcing a smile. "It's.... it's not appropriate."
Lin Jian's smile faltered, a hint of sadness crossing his eyes. "Is it because of your family?" he asked softly. "Are they opposed to our... friendship?"
"No," I whispered, my heart pounding. "It's... I have someone already in my heart.."
He looked at me for a long moment, then sighed. "I understand,"
"But can I ask who took your heart away?" he followed.
I paused. I didn't know what to say. By this time I had knew deep down that I had taken a liking to Lin Jian, yes, I had. I'll acknowledge it.
"Tell me about it. I love hearing about your memories." he curiously asked.
I hesitate, the words catching in my throat.
His gaze intensifies, and I felt a blush creep up my ears. "You can tell me anything, you know," he says softly. "I wouldn't judge."
I took a deep breath, the truth bubbling to the surface. "His name is Cheng," you whispered, a name not really Lin Jian's.
He leans forward, his expression earnest. "You mean the man from your stories?"
There was a time I talked about the Lin Jian in my world as a man in my village, he still remembered it.
I nod, a tear welling up in your eye. "I just miss him. Maybe because he always made sure I was well-fed with lotus seed." I let out a fake laugh.
A pang of jealousy shoots through him, but he hides it with a smile. "He sounds wonderful. But I'm sure you're just as happy now...with Lin Jian's accompany." referring to himself.
You look at the Lin Jian before you, his warm brown eyes reflecting your own. He's so kind, so thoughtful, so similar to the Lin Jian you remember. The guilt claws at your heart.
"He's not the same," you finally say, your voice choked with emotion. "He can't be. He's not... him."
He reaches across the table, his hand covering yours. "He may not be him, but he's here," he whispers. "And he cares for you just as deeply."
I meet his gaze, my heart torn. The Lin Jian before me is real, he's here, he's in front of me, and he's trying so hard to make me happy. But the phantom image of the other Lin Jian, the Lin Jian from your memories, lingers like a ghost, impossible to ignore.
"I don't know what to do," I whisper, trying to take my hands away, my voice laden with despair. "I can't deny him, but I can't make myself believe he's the one."
He squeezes my hand, his gaze never leaving mine. "Then don't deny him," he says, a hint of sadness in his voice. "Just... be honest. Be true to yourself. And to him."
I nodded, knowing that the truth was much more complicated. I were drawn to him, yes, but the guilt of falling for someone who wasn't the real Lin Jian gnawed at me. Like a ghost of a past love, the real Lin Jian haunted my every interaction with this one. I were trapped between the pull of the familiar and the fear of the unknown, unable to choose between the ghost of a past love and the living, breathing hope of something new.
As the days turned into weeks, I observed Lin Jian with a sense of growing unease. An ominous aura clung to him, and his once-composed demeanor had given way to unexpected outbursts.
One fateful evening, as Lin Jian prepared a meal for me, his movements froze, and his body began to convulse violently. A surge of concern washed over me, and I instinctively channeled my chi to calm his erratic energy.
As the convulsions subsided, Lin Jian lapsed into a coma. Time seemed to slow as I watched over his lifeless form. Determined to find the best possible care for him, I set out to seek the most renowned healer in the city.
After days of searching, I was led to a secluded hermitage where resided the legendary healer, Zhang Li. He hesitated helping me but upon learning of my identity as an immortal he eventually agreed to save Lin Jian's life. However, he imposed a condition: "I will heal Lin Jian, but in exchange, you must give half of your body to my sister. A vessel for her soul, a home for her to return."
As an immortal, I possessed an ethereal essence that could house a soul. He proposed that I surrender half of my body to his young sister, thus providing a home for her departed spirit.