I knew I was an unwanted bride. That's why I had decided not to wish for anything.
On the day the castle fell, I heard that the man who attacked Diane was one of my father's close advisors. I was surprised that there were people who showed such loyalty to my father and half-brothers, but there was nothing I could say about it now.
Before the wedding ceremony, there would be a coronation. I put on the bridal dress, a memento from my mother. The pure white ensemble seemed inappropriate for someone like me.
"...This should have been a more joyous day."
"We agreed not to speak of that. Besides, a joyous day..."
Giselle sighed as she styled my hair. Diane gazed at her reflection in the mirror.
The pale face looking back didn't seem to belong to a bride on her wedding day. Rouge was added to her cheeks to give them some color.
"I sold out my country—and my family. Even as a queen in name only, it would be foolish to think I'd be welcomed. The atmosphere in the castle is quite cold."
Before heading to the chapel in the castle, there would be a coronation in the great hall. Though it seemed ridiculous, it was better to follow proper procedure.
With only Giselle as her attendant, Diane left the room.
First to the great hall. There she would sign documents stripping her father of his throne and installing herself as queen.
"Are you sure about this? You don't need to go this far. We can suppress any rebellion from the nobles."
Ludiger would surely do that for her. But she shook her head at his offer. She couldn't allow herself to be pampered now. She silently shook her head.
—She had to do what needed to be done, to atone for her father's and brothers' sins.
Ludiger and his vassals confirmed the contents and verified there were no issues with the documents before placing the crown on her head. Though she would soon remove it anyway.
Then they moved to the chapel where the wedding ceremony would take place.
Right after the wedding, she followed the procedure of transferring the crown to her husband and abdicating, and finally everything was done.
A feast was held to celebrate the marriage, but Diane declined to attend. Her presence would only dampen the atmosphere.
With only Giselle, she returned to her room.
"What a waste, such a beautiful dress."
Giselle sighed, looking at the dress her mother had worn at her own wedding, now hanging on the wall after being removed.
"...Indeed. But at least I got to wear it once."
She would have this bridal dress stored away somewhere out of sight.
—She was exhausted.
Just as she sighed, the door opened without a knock and Ludiger entered.
"Giselle, leave us for a while."
Though momentarily confused by the command, Giselle bowed and disappeared. Now she was alone in the room with Ludiger. She didn't think she could bear this situation.
"I asked for a white marriage—for two years..."
The ring placed on her finger during the ceremony suddenly felt tight.
"That was only promised for two years. I never promised to divorce you after two years."
"Wha—"
Please don't look at me like that, she thought, but the words wouldn't come out.
If he kept looking at her like that, the feelings she had kept hidden in her heart might overflow. She desperately clenched her fists, the sensation of nails digging into her palms somehow helping her maintain her composure.
"I am Maxim's daughter. My very existence is a shame to this country."
When historians eventually write this country's history—the Kingdom of Surliton, established in her father's generation and ended with its second queen, would merit only a single line. About how the most foolish man seized a country and was then destroyed.
If her father had paid more attention to domestic affairs, things might have turned out differently. He couldn't have been completely incompetent, having created a massive kingdom in just five years by destroying and annexing both the Kingdom of Toredrio and the Kingdom of Sevran.
Diane knew there was no point in dwelling on what-ifs.
In the end, he simply wasn't fit to rule. The qualities of a soldier and those of a king are entirely different.
"Back then, at Lamartine Abbey, you were the first to help me."
"That was just the arrogance of a child. I thought simply giving food to someone in front of me would be enough."
"But at least I survived. And because I survived, we have today."
His hand touched her cheek, and Diane squeezed her eyes shut.
Four years since he had left the abbey. The sensation of his touch after four years was—nostalgic and painful.
"What you did wasn't something a sixteen-year-old girl could normally do. This must hurt."
The hand that had been caressing her cheek moved to her neck, then down to where her heart was. She hoped he wouldn't notice how rapidly it was beating.
"—I was prepared for this. This was my only choice—in the end, I made you and Giselle dirty your hands."
The hand pressing against her heart withdrew suddenly. She almost felt sad at the loss of that touch.
"After I decided to reclaim the country—rumors about the Surliton royal family began to spread. That only the youngest princess, who had returned from the abbey, was different."
Unable to speak, she just shook her head.
There wasn't much Diane could do. At most, throwing herself in front of a beaten maid, or secretly giving medicine to the wounded.
"I had decided to free you. And yet, you ended up helping me again."
Ludiger's expression turned apologetic, which only made Diane feel more sorry.
She wondered if there might have been a different way, if she should have chosen a different path.
"The time limit you declared was two years, wasn't it?"
Ludiger suddenly changed the subject, making Diane blink in surprise. She had even forgotten that she was alone in a room with a man. She felt she might get lost in Ludiger's direct gaze.
Even though she knew she had no right to stand beside him.
"After two years, I will return to Lamartine Abbey."
"I won't let you go. Wait two years. In that time, I'll establish myself firmly enough that no one can object to making our marriage official."
"—But"
She tried desperately to suppress the false hope that began to rise. She was happy that Ludiger wanted to be with her—but she understood that circumstances wouldn't allow it.
"Freeing you was also my wish. That's how we've come this far."
Why would he say such things?
Even after he left the abbey, those few days they spent together continued to shine in her heart. It wasn't that she was dissatisfied with life there.
Just waking up each day, completing daily tasks, learning swordsmanship and how to compound medicines, praying at set times, and ending the day—
In the midst of such unchanging daily life, the days spent with him had left an intense impression.
"So after two years pass, I won't let you return to the abbey. Stay here—as my queen. Until then, I'll honor our white marriage."
"—That's—"
Her attempt to say "impossible" was cut off, interrupted by his index finger sealing her lips.
After drawing a line from her upper to lower lip, his finger withdrew. The place where his finger had touched seemed to tingle.
Why would he say such things? She had steeled her resolve, yet her heart wavered so easily.
"No. I won't let you say anymore."
Once again, her words were easily silenced. Though she bit her lip at her own weakness.
"Rest well. From tomorrow, things will be busy again."
He took her hand and kissed her fingertips. So gently, carefully, as if handling a precious treasure.
True to his word about honoring their white marriage, he did nothing more. Just kissed her hand and bid her good night.
The door closed with a soft sound, and Diane, left alone in the room, was confused. She had never imagined he would say such things about not returning her to the abbey after two years.
She had thought she was just someone who had briefly shared time with him.
—But there were still two years ahead.
When this suddenly occurred to her, she felt a chill deep in her chest.
What if she began to wish to stay here by Ludiger's side—to wish for something she shouldn't?
She knew she shouldn't think about such things. She struck the wall with her hand, trying to seal away her feelings.