In the following months, Rurik went through a rough patch.
Despite the vow he made, his mood became dour after his memories returned. Even if he decided to live in honour of his promise to Luna, he still lost not just the love of his life, but essentially his other half. He needed to figure out who he was without her.
Reluctantly, Rurik acknowledged that perhaps the co-dependent bond they shared throughout their many years together wasn't entirely healthy. Yet, unsurprisingly, this realization didn't bring him any comfort, nor did the fact that, once the sun rose and everyone began their day, life seemed to carry on as usual.
"Good morning, Rurik," Elisiv yawned when she woke up and noticed he was already up. She looked over at her son and frowned with a hint of concern when she noticed his solitary figure by the fire's softly smouldering remains, his back turned to her. "Are you alright? How long have you been up already?"
Rurik heard the worry in her voice, but he didn't immediately respond. Instead, he continued looking into the fire for a moment longer. He knew he was going to have to pretend going forward, but he wanted to remain a husband who mourned his wife for a few seconds more.
Finally, he sighed. His outlook was grim… but he would weather it. His steely discipline slammed down on his grief, and he turned around.
"Good morning, Mother," he smiled, hiding the heartache behind his eyes. "I've been up about an hour or so, but I'm fine. Why do you ask?"
'If I want to find Luna, or at least make the most of this second chance, I can't wallow in grief, and I can't allow anyone here to find out the truth,' he growled resolutely in his mind.
The worry did not leave his mother's eyes, as she was clearly not convinced. Something felt different about her son. She couldn't figure out what it was exactly, but she felt like there was an aura of melancholy around him, and like he'd suddenly aged a few decades overnight.
Still, she couldn't put her finger on exactly why she thought that. All she could see was his usual charming smile, which always made her feel warm inside.
"If you say so, Milyi…" she mumbled softly, giving him a term of affection from her homeland, before finally dissolving her frown and smiling. Inwardly, she resolved herself to keep a closer eye on him.
Fortunately, Rurik Haraldson had always been a little withdrawn. Previously, he was often lost in the memories of his previous life, so most people didn't notice his sudden shift in mood… but it wasn't only his mother who did.
Currently, he had two sisters: the six-year-old Maria, and the four-year-old Ingegerd, but the latter was still too young to notice much of anything. It was Maria, who's young mind somehow picked up on her big brother's changes.
His father, on the other hand, was often absent. He had a realm to rule, raids to conduct, and battles to fight, so he wasn't close enough to Rurik to notice the difference between distant and grieving.
Finally, he'd been too withdrawn these last nine years to make any connections among the other kids his age that were living either in the royal compound, or the city of Nidaros around them.
Thus, only Elisiv and Maria noticed anything different. But what could they do? He shut them out as well. Rurik wasn't even sure yet how he felt about his family in this life.
In his previous one he'd never known his parents. Just like Luna, he was found as a baby and ended up in the system, passed around from one location to another, until he ended up in the same orphanage as his future wife. Ever since, they'd been the only family either of them needed.
But now… did he care about these people? He hadn't ever loved anyone besides Luna, so the entire concept of a loving family was unfamiliar to him. Yet, he couldn't just dismiss them either. The memories of modern-era Rurik intertwined with his current self, and the regular boy he'd been before did love his parents.
But that only made things weirder for him, because whose feelings were those? His, or his before the memories returned? Was there a difference?
But that wasn't even the most important part, because he simply wasn't sure if he could allow himself these feelings. It had always been Luna and him against the world, but if he embraced his new family, that wouldn't be true anymore. Would it be a betrayal to her if he accepted these feelings?
In conclusion, it was complicated, and he needed some time to figure things out. Unfortunately, younger sisters weren't usually the type to give you space… Thus, one day, the decision was made for him.
* * *
It had been a few months since Rurik regained his memories, and he'd spent this time throwing himself into training and planning for the future.
To the great delight of his teachers and father, who didn't notice his change in mood, his progress became even faster. Not just because of his hard work, but also thanks to the inherited knowledge and skills he'd gathered in his previous life.
Now, after a particularly successful raid on a coastal city, Harald decided to celebrate. He organized a hunt for his friends and nobles, and wanted to take some of his older children with him—including Maria.
Although warrior women were still rare among Vikings, they weren't unheard of. In fact, teaching women to hunt and survive in the woods was almost expected, at least among the nobles. Only Ingegerd stayed behind with Elisiv, as she was still too young.
Today, a group of nearly 60 people gathered at Harald's royal compound in preparation for the hunt. Among them were ten guests of Harald, while the rest consisted off servants, laborers, professional hunters, warriors, and a few children, like Maria and Rurik.
The large group was a bustle of activity and excitement, with the largest commotion coming from the front. Here, a large, dark-haired man's thundering laughter was rising above the rest…