3/23
I just landed in Narita Airport, Japan. A taxi is taking me to Tokyo right now, I'll be staying at whatever capsule hotel is cheapest.
The verdant green on the other side of this window reminded me of you. There's a lot of different things you wanted to do in Tokyo, right? I'll do my best to remember them all.
Besides that, I've taken on a surprising amount of responsibility. I guess I couldn't stay a kid forever. My first job here will be as an English teacher, hopefully Japanese work culture isn't as terrible as people say. Although I might not mind being a little overworked.
So much for my "dreams." I guess the day you left was the same day I gave up on them. It all seems so childish now that I look back on it. Maybe Buddhist teachings are right and justifying life through worldly matters is fruitless. But I could never dismiss your words of encouragement as that.
I spent more than a few months trying to prove you right. In the end it was a fixed race though. Drawing for a living is unrealistic, and I have no talent for it despite everything you told me.
I gave up on art. I ran away because I couldn't face life. I'm truly sorry.
But even now I still find myself looking for a glimmer of hope. Maybe that's why I came to the country you longed for so much. Maybe that's why when I unpack my luggage, my drawing supplies still remain next to your letter. What have you gone and done, Alice? Are you still out there singing somewhere?
I'd like to know.