Title: The Encounter
Journal Entry: December 22nd, 2021
As I packed my bags to head back home for Christmas break, I reflected on the past few months of my so-called life at university. The second semester had come to an end, and students were wrapping up their exams.
Coming here, I had thought university would transform me, bring me out of my shell, and change me. But here I am, after a whole session, with two friends( not particularly close) and no life. I don't talk in class. I don't know any of my coursemates, lecturers, or even my neighbors. Honestly, I wouldn't notice you if you were standing right in front of me.
I spent my entire freshman year hidden away, clinging to a "safe routine." Is this how my university life is going to be? Freedom was supposed to define my freshman year. I had dreamed about this for as long as I could remember, but here I am—a year of hiding, building walls instead of breaking them down. I was disappointed in myself, but mostly, I was tired of feeling small.
As I headed to the park, I felt tired but, surprisingly, content. For the first time, I was grateful to go back home, back to the familiar safety of my house. When I got to the bus, I settled into my seat, gazing out the window with music blasting through my AirPods (I'm definitely going deaf soon) and lost in thought.
The bus wasn't full yet, so the driver waited for more passengers. That's when I noticed HIM.
He was sitting quietly behind me—tall, dark, and handsome, minding his business. His presence was magnetic, and I felt something unfamiliar... a pull, an instant attraction. For someone who has always shied away from attention, I was caught completely off guard.
He wasn't flashy or loud like the guys back in the compound. Honestly, there wasn't anything particularly striking about him. He was quiet, almost brooding, with a face you couldn't look away from (get a grip, girl!). Sharp features, an afro, and an intensity in his eyes. The way he carried himself was different. For the first time, I didn't want to be invisible. I didn't want to hide. I wanted to be seen. I felt—drawn.
Should I talk to him? Should I not? I debated with myself. What would I even say? Don't overthink it. Breathe, girl. Be calm. Be cool. Before I knew it, I moved over to where he was.
"Can I sit here?" I asked, almost choking on my words.
"Yeah," he said, his gaze fixed on me. My heart was racing as I sat next to him (is it hot in here, or is it just me?).
I felt so drawn to this stranger that I couldn't help but steal glances at him. Focus, me! I'd never felt this way about a guy before. Sure, I'd had crushes, but this was different. It was magnetic. It was impossible to ignore. For years, I had wondered if something was wrong with me. Maybe I was gay? But then again, I didn't like girls either, so scratch that theory.
I started a conversation—small talk at first—but I slowly found my confidence. I learned he's three years older than me, from the same university, and in the same state. He's a level ahead of me. (Fate?)
I felt it—the butterflies. And when our hands brushed, sparks. Fireworks. For me, it was an awakening. A new feeling. My adrenaline was rushing. I had always thought "love at first sight" was a myth, something straight out of a fairy tale. But talking to him, I felt at ease, like I was stepping into something magical.
When my bus reached its stop, I alighted, but not before we exchanged contacts. I remember silently praying for him to ask for my number (I nearly did a happy dance when he did), though I had to maintain my steeze.
As I walked away, I felt a mix of excitement and uncertainty. For the first time, I was looking forward to what the future might hold. I wasn't just existing anymore. I wasn't just there. I was feeling. It terrified me, but it also made me feel so...ALIVE.