Hot water eases the tension in my aching body as I lay in the large tub inside my quarters. Indoor plumbing in this world is rare and the Celestial Mountain Sect has it for which I appreciate. It just makes my circumstances before feel even more miserable. I'm reminded of how much I lacked.
[System Alert: Quest Rewards distributed.]
I'm not sure what entirely the system means but with reduced alerts, I'm left to interpret what is a reward or penalty for myself. Hard mode can't be turned off but I'm afforded the freedom to do what I wish.... for the most part anyway.
This is both a penalty and a reward. I'm being offered instruction and a way to cure the deviation in my roots so I can form my core. I can be a normal cultivator. Diabolism is still a valid and powerful form of cultivation but it's feared and forbidden. It demands the user draw qi from the life force of themselves or others to gain strength.
I pour my life into pieces of parchment while others might sacrifice people for more powerful techniques. It makes me dangerous in the cultivation society and too myself. What I've done so far has reduced my lifespan but in the pursuit of immortality, does it even matter? At the end of this journey, even death will fall away.
There are ways to kill gods and immortals but it is still much harder. Lubi said they have a method of treatment for me. I'm not sure what it could be. If I do finally establish my foundation, I will still need a beast spirit core to ease the formation of my golden core. I was trying to hurry through the process but now I'm stalled.
For all that cultivators like to form into sects and dictate the proper rise in power through time and patience, everyone just wants to find the quickest path to power. It's ruthless. It's why people cloister together in sects.
I lean my head against the tub's rim with a deep sigh. I've never tried this route. Maybe this time it'll succeed. I just need to figure out how to navigate this version of Qin Tao. He unsettles me. In every life, he's been my enemy. I can't grasp how to deal with him as anything but.
The water soothes me, being inside the hot spring proper would be heavenly if it does this just through pipes.
I hear rustling outside my door but I don't know who it is. I'm not good enough to distinguish people from each other by their energy. "What is it?" I call out, reaching for my towel to dry off.
"Dinner is ready whenever you are done, we'll wait for you," Lubi replies through the door.
"I'll just be a moment." I rise from the tub and dry myself. It feels good to be free of the much of last night. I no longer stink of beast, death, fear, and mud. The memory of the stench makes my stomach curl.
I slide my new robes on and leave my hair down. I haven't the time to properly dry to care for it. But I'm decent enough to sit for a casual dinner. I'm not trying to impress anyone.
***
I open the door and Lubi and Qin Tao stare at me with their eyes wide in disbelief. I look down at myself. Everything is covered. It's a grey hanfu with a modest embellishment of embroidered bamboo in white along the edges. My hair is damp and loose on my shoulders.
"Am I disturbing you?" I ask in puzzlement. I haven't looked at myself in a looking glass, I'm uncertain if I look as haggard as I felt.
Lubi coughs as he finally regains his composure. "No, not at all. You look different dressed like that."
"I haven't looked at my reflection, is it truly that bad?"
"No, You don't look bad at all!" Qin Tao interjects with a firm shake of his head. "You look good."
"You were in a bad state is all. Some of the color has come back to your face," Lubi offers as he pats an empty space on the floor between him and Qin Tao. A low table holds tea cups and a few small bowls of fish, rice, and vegetables. I sit down with a light shake of my head.
"How old are you, Li Mei?" Qin Tao asks.
I do quick math. It must be several centuries by now. But that's not what he wants to know. "Nineteen last full moon." I lift a cup of tea in my hands to warm them and enjoy the scent. Jasmine and white tea. I admire the color inside the small cup.
"I didn't realise," Qin Tao's voice is unsteady.
"Realize what?" My eyes flick up to his face and he looks embarassed.
"I thought you were much younger."
I suppose it was his idea to spare my life with admission into the sect. The idea of a young girl orphaned and gifted with no home is more compelling story than a reckless adult.
"Oh. No. I'm not a child." I sip my drink as Qin Tao tries to find his voice again.
Lubi rubs the back of his neck. "We're all about the same age, give or take. We're just your seniors in rank then."
"I'll refrain from calling you Big Brother, unless you both prefer that?" I tease, meeting their gaze as they look away. I never imagined that this was a weakness I could've exploited if I had gone the route of seductress.
Qin Tao's face reddens, he's quite taken by the idea. Lubi laughs.
"No, just call me by my name please," Qin Tao manages as he hastily gulps down a cup of tea. "I want you to call me by name." He makes a face as he scalds his tongue. Serves him right. Such a petty thing makes me happier than it should.
"Same, please," Lubi adds with a nod. He taps his chin as an idea comes to him. "Until you come up with a cute pet name!" His tone is cheerful in a way that makes me smile despite myself. "Though,
"I don't care if you call me Mei Mei," I shrug and make a dismissive gesture. I'm ready to move the conversation along to something else. "If that satisfies you both, tell me about the training and treatment plans. I want to know how this will go." I set my cup down and retrieve a bowl to begin eating.
Lubi frowns, leaning his arm on a raised knee. "We don't need to get into all the details right now. Sect Leader Zhu wants to give you a few weeks to rest and recover. Your health is the priority before we can move forward."
"I'm not sick. You said my injuries were minor."
"Sure, nothing's broken. But you look like you haven't had a proper meal in far too long. How we'll train depends on you regaining your strength. We're still a martial cultivation sect."
"I'm too skinny?"
"Yes." Lubi and Qin Tao reply in unison.
I want to roll my eyes but it's a dumb argument. I set my bowl down on the table again.
"You're right, of course. I haven't had a proper meal in months since my family was murdered. I haven't been sleeping well out of fear." I refrain from adding that making my talismans consumes my blood and strength. This isn't an argument to have nor can I logically win it. I am exhausted and it shows. "I don't want to be weak any more."
Lubi places his hand gently on my shoulder. "You are quite strong, Li Mei. You just need to rest."
Qin Tao looks distressed at my confession. "Elder Zhu said we'll investigate the circumstances around what happened. Something isn't right. This won't stay hidden in shadow." His hand twitches and resettles on the table. "You're not alone any more."
"We'll go over the academics with you if you'd like to learn some alchemical recipes or something. You can brew sitting down. Or you can just rest your mind with painting or meditating in the hot springs. You can do things without straining yourself. Enjoy the break before the hard work begins again." Lubi offers. Both sound sincere in their concern for me. I don't want to get entangled with them because it makes it harder to get away for my own practice.
I hate that they're looking at me with pity in their eyes. I'm a damsel in distress to be rescued. I hate it but I need to exploit this to keep safe. These men don't know their my enemy yet. I have enough people who will seek venegence for what I did in the cave. I injured them and worse, humilated them.
It's the real question I want to ask. "Who were the men in the cavern with me last night?"