"Agh!" A bloodcurdling scream echoed as the bounty office manager was impaled on Hiruko's tail.
"Sasori, what are you doing?" Deidara's voice carried a hint of exasperation.
"Waiting is boring. I noticed this guy has a bounty of five million ryo on his head. Thought I'd make good use of the time."
"Hey! Is anyone else here? Hurry up and cash this in for me!"
Another trembling clerk stepped forward, clearly used to dealing with unsavory characters. It was par for the course, most people working in bounty offices had bounties themselves—not the kind awarded for heroics, but for outright villainy.
"H-here's your five million!" The clerk handed a box to Sasori, desperate not to end up like his colleague.
"K-Kakuzu, sir! Please don't look at me like that! I don't have a bounty on me! Really!"
Sasori's antics seemed to open a whole new world of possibilities for Kakuzu. Killing bounty office staff to claim their bounties? Ingenious. Convenient, too—no hunting needed, just a whole nest of bounties in one spot. Like picking up gold nuggets off the ground.
Kakuzu flipped through the bounty ledger. Only after confirming the trembling clerk wasn't worth anything did he regretfully pack up the box and leave with Sasori and Deidara.
"So, what's the deal? Why'd you guys come to me?" Kakuzu finally asked after they left the office.
"Orochimaru's planning to assassinate the Third Hokage. We need your help," Deidara said bluntly.
Assassinate the Hokage?
Kakuzu stiffened, memories he'd rather forget resurfacing.
No. This wasn't the same Hokage as before—the man who had nearly scared him to death with a kunai from 800 meters away. This one was an old man on his last legs. Nothing to be afraid of.
Not that Kakuzu was interested in this kind of job. It wasted time he could be using to make money. But as fellow Akatsuki members were asking, and since the Leader had already instructed him to cooperate, he couldn't outright refuse.
"How long will this take?" Kakuzu asked.
"About five days," Deidara estimated.
"Five days, fifty million ryo. Every extra day is another ten million," Kakuzu stated flatly.
"Fifty million for five days? That's daylight robbery, Kakuzu!" Hidan chimed in, disgruntled. Sure, the bounties they chased were worth tens of millions, but they took months of searching and fighting to collect.
"That includes your share too, Hidan. A million a day for your 'services.' Fair deal, isn't it?"
"Considering we're heading to Konohagakure for a dangerous mission, it's only reasonable," Kakuzu said with practiced ease, his mastery of haggling apparent. Within moments, Hidan begrudgingly nodded along.
"Fair point." Hidan scratched his chin thoughtfully. "But I don't need money."
"Then your share will stay with me for safekeeping," Kakuzu declared smoothly. "Consider it a donation to the one who spends the most time listening to your prayers."
"Wait, are you saying you're converting to Jashinism?" Hidan's eyes lit up with excitement.
"As long as Jashin pays me, I'm happy to pray," Kakuzu deadpanned. If money was involved, he'd even don a dress and dance for the god.
If Deidara had a phone, he would've recorded this scene and sent it to Nagato and Konan. Behold your loyal elder, tirelessly working to fund the organization even at his age! Konan, how do you feel about using an octogenarian's retirement funds for explosive tags?
"What's your answer, Deidara?" Kakuzu asked.
"Deal," Deidara said, grinning. "But first, I need to clarify something."
"What is it?"
"If I'm paying you, that means for the next five days, you're technically my employee. And as your employer, the value you generate during this period should belong to me. Sound fair?"
Kakuzu thought it over and nodded. "That's reasonable. You pay me, so the value I create is yours."
"Hehe, great!"
"Then when we attack Konoha, any bounties you collect will belong to me, right? As your employer."
"What?" Kakuzu's beady green eyes widened. Of all the contingencies he'd planned for, this wasn't one of them. Deidara wouldn't just break even—he'd make a fortune!
Capitalists always profited the most, leaving diligent workers like Kakuzu exploited and bitter. He sank into a sullen silence, radiating the aura of a defeated man.
"Alright, let's head to Otogakure and meet Orochimaru," Deidara said.
As they traveled through the forest, Hidan noticed Deidara fiddling with his ring. Curious and bored, he asked, "Deidara, why are you contacting the Leader?"
"Well," Deidara scratched his head sheepishly, "this mission's technically for the organization, so I shouldn't have to pay for it myself."
"What? You're getting reimbursed?"
"Yeah, I told the Leader Kakuzu's charging a hundred million. Might as well pocket the difference!"
Kakuzu, who'd been leading the group, spat blood and tumbled out of the tree.
"Hey! Kakuzu, you alright?"
"Don't tell me he actually died from the shock. Is his blood pressure too high?" Hidan mused.
Lying amidst the fallen leaves, Kakuzu gazed lifelessly at the canopy above. This cruel, capitalist world deserved to be destroyed.
When they reached Otogakure, even Orochimaru was unnerved by the dark aura Kakuzu exuded.
"Did... did you all change your minds about killing me?" Orochimaru asked nervously.
"Relax, Orochimaru. Kakuzu's just upset. He's old, and small emotional shocks can really get to him," Deidara explained hastily. "It's a hassle, really."
"Is that so?" Orochimaru relaxed slightly but still eyed Kakuzu warily.
"Alright, let's go. The Daimyo's envoy is nearing the ambush point," Orochimaru said, leading the way.
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Pls Drop some Power Stones
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