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The Warlock's Handbook

MADTAOIST
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Synopsis
My City Was Ranked the Safest in the Nation And I played an unforgettable role in achieving that honor. Why, you ask? Because I got arrested.
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Chapter 1 - Chapter 1: I Was Arrested

"Great Observer of the End, Ash Heath! Goodness follows you, evil worships you! Light desires you, and darkness yearns for you as well! You are an existence beyond all, the color the gods have painted upon all creation!"

"Great Observer of the End, Ash Heath…"

Ash sat on a cold stone throne, staring at a crowd of black-robed figures kneeling before him, bowing and praying with utmost reverence. His face remained stoic, but inside, he was panicking.

And who could blame him? Just a second ago, he was burning the midnight oil in that damned mobile game company, squeezing out every last drop of his productivity. The next second, he was transported to this strange underground hall, where a horde of zealots were worshiping him. Anyone would be at a loss.

What made it even more bizarre was that Ash could understand their language perfectly, as if it were his mother tongue. He didn't need to translate a thing; the meaning of their words just flowed naturally into his mind. As he calmed down, Ash quickly pieced together the situation: he had transmigrated. His soul had somehow taken over the body of someone with the same name in this world.

Growing up, people often remarked that his name sounded like something out of a fantasy story. Never did he imagine he'd one day find himself in a scenario straight out of one.

However, the surname Heath was new to him. That small discrepancy was enough to convince Ash this wasn't some vivid dream.

Not only did this body share his name, but it also bore a striking resemblance to his own. Testing his fingers and toes, he felt no disconnect, as if this was his original body. Everything moved smoothly and naturally, making Ash wonder if he had somehow crossed over into a parallel version of himself.

For convenience, and because of their shared name, Ash decided to mentally refer to this body's original owner as "Heath."

But all these realizations didn't solve his immediate problem. Heath, unfortunately, hadn't left behind one critical thing for him: memories.

Yes, memories!

It seemed that when Ash transmigrated, Heath's memories had been wiped clean. Ash had no clue what to do next, even struggling to maintain the faintly mischievous smirk on his face, fearing that any slip-up would expose him.

The black-robed people looked devout now, but Ash was acutely aware that their reverence could flip to hostility in an instant if they realized the truth: that he, an "otherworldly evil soul," had taken over the sacred body of Saint Heath. Considering their intense religious fervor, Ash doubted claiming, "I'm a victim too!" would earn him any sympathy.

Still, just sitting here wasn't a viable plan either. Ash could already feel the fake smile on his face starting to crack.

Suddenly, the underground hall trembled with a booming rumble.

The black-robed figures were ecstatic. They prostrated themselves completely, their foreheads pressed to the floor, and chanted in unison:

"Pray for the Lord's descent!"

Ash instinctively tried to stand up, thinking it was an earthquake, but his body wouldn't budge, as if glued to the stone throne. Before he could react, a dazzling, multicolored light filled the hall. He looked up and saw four brilliant orbs of rainbow light materializing in the air. Their glow painted the chamber in vivid hues and radiated a comforting warmth.

"Great Observer of the End, Ash Heath!"

The orbs spoke in unison, their voices layered as if thousands were speaking at once.

"The sole pure soul of this corrupt world, the last hero of the steadfast earth! You are burdened with the mission to save this world and the duty to rescue all living beings!"

"We shall traverse the Silver Wheel of Heaven to grant you power, and we shall shatter the Golden Scales to bestow you glory! Your name is holy, your will is our command, and your realm shall be a paradise for all!"

"Ash Heath!"

Before he realized it, Ash found himself kneeling on one knee, bowing his head in reverence, awaiting the moment divine grace would descend upon him.

The leftmost red orb declared, "I am the Lord of Infinite Radiance, master of battle, courage, and honor! I grant you the Angel of Power, to vanquish all enemies before you!"

A tiny angel holding a spear, no bigger than a finger, flew in front of Ash. Clad in crimson armor, her gaze carried the weight of a thousand battlefields, exuding an aura of unyielding strength.

The second blue orb from the left spoke, "I am the Ruler of Wind, Rain, and Snow, master of wisdom, transformation, and destiny! I grant you the Angel of Wisdom, to guide you toward your goals!"

A petite angel wearing a blue hat and holding a notebook floated over. Her eyes sparkled with an endless depth, as if concealing infinite knowledge.

The second green orb from the right proclaimed, "I am the Eternal Flame of Life, master of vitality, equality, and sharing! I grant you the Angel of Life, to bless you with eternal health!"

A green, childlike angel with a gentle glow around her flew close. Her presence radiated warmth and comfort, easing Ash's anxieties.

The rightmost pink orb added, "I am the Spirit of Dreamlike Freedom, master of love, joy, and art! I grant you the Angel of Joy, to elevate your charm beyond measure!"

A graceful, pink-clad angel with enchanting beauty approached. Even at her diminutive size, she seemed to embody the pinnacle of allure.

The four angels hovered around Ash, their brilliance adding to his aura of divine splendor. In that instant, Ash felt an overwhelming surge of power coursing through him. His body brimmed with energy, his thoughts raced with clarity, and he felt invincible.

The orbs spoke in unison once more:

"Hero favored by fate, Observer who discerns all, go forth and create miracles. Save the world!"

With a sound like shattering bubbles, the divine beings dissipated, but the hall remained illuminated. With four angels by his side, Ash had become a walking rainbow of light.

Clenching his fists, Ash grinned confidently.

Who would've thought? What seemed like a nightmare of a transmigration turned out to be the jackpot! Not only had he become this world's chosen hero, but he also had the blessings of gods and legions of followers. This was the ultimate script for success!

Now, all that remained was to slay monsters, save the world, marry the most beautiful princess, become king, and reach the pinnacle of life!

Boom!

A loud crash from above interrupted his thoughts. One of the black-robed believers shouted,

"Hero, the Bloodthirsty Hunters have found us! Only you can defeat them now!"

Bloodthirsty Hunters? Sounded like villain fodder. Ash figured they'd be a good way to level up his skills and build some renown. Drawing the sword from his waist, he declared boldly,

"My blade knows no equal! Let these Bloodthirsty Hunters be the first to taste its wrath! Lead the way!"

"No need," a voice replied. "We'll come to you."

With a thunderous roar, the ceiling of the hall exploded.

Ash looked up to see a group of enemies descending. They were clad in silver trench coats, blood-patterned swords in hand, and hunter's hats perched on their heads.

"Good timing!"

Ash bellowed, invoking his newfound powers.

"Power! Wisdom! Life! Joy!"

The angels surged around him, empowering him with their blessings. Feeling unstoppable, Ash leapt into the air, swinging his sword with all his might at the nearest Bloodthirsty Hunter. His blade cleaved through the air, emitting a shockwave of sword energy.

At that moment, Ash thought, With the gods' blessings, who could possibly defeat me?

But then, the Bloodthirsty Hunter smirked and sneered,

"Is that all?"

Before Ash could process the insult, the enemy's sword transformed into a chain blade, unleashing a massive crimson slash.

Ash's sword energy was obliterated instantly. His protective barrier shattered, and the hall split under the force of the attack. A massive fissure opened at Ash's feet.

"How… How is this possible?" Ash muttered in disbelief.

"Four two-winged Chaos Spirits that aren't even your own? Where do you get the nerve to fight me, a three-winged Saint?"

With a gust of wind, the Bloodthirsty Hunter unfurled three radiant wings: silver, gold, and rainbow-hued. In a flash, he closed the distance, stabbing his blade straight through Ash's chest and pinning him back onto the stone throne.

Ash coughed up blood, his vision blurring as the hunter retrieved a small lantern from his belt. When the lantern lit up with blinding white light, the angels around Ash screamed in despair. Their beautiful forms dissolved into grotesque shapes.

Power became a monstrous mantis.

Wisdom turned into a decaying fly.

Life melted into a pale maggot.

Joy dissolved into a foul, putrid gas.

The divine blessings drained from Ash's body as quickly as they'd come. His chest burned with pain, his mind spun in confusion.

What just happened? he thought, his previous arrogance evaporating. Why was I so reckless, throwing myself into a fight I knew nothing about?

As the black-robed believers fell one by one, the Bloodthirsty Hunter stepped forward, pulling out a scroll marked with an official seal.

"I am Gerard Westminster, Bloodthirsty Hunter #307791, of the Sin Pursuit Bureau. You are suspected of involvement in the cult of the Four Pillars, as well as multiple cases of abduction, murder, and robbery. This is a warrant for your arrest, signed by the Kaimon City Bureau. Any complaints can be submitted to the bureau's reception desk at 233 Citizen Avenue, or directly to the mayor's office."

Gerard tucked away the warrant, took out a pair of silver handcuffs, and snapped them onto Ash's wrists with a grin that revealed sharp, pale fangs.

"Ash Heath, cult leader of the Four Pillars, you're under arrest."