The sensation of being reborn was both strange and disorienting. It sure felt weird, I'll tell you that. My hands were small, the world seemed larger and more overwhelming than I remembered. I blinked at these unfamiliar faces looking down at me, the feeling of being fragile and vulnerable leaving a sour taste in my mouth. My mother was a beautiful woman, with soft features and deep purple eyes would put jewels to shame. I gazed around, seeing another person. They had the same purple eyes, the color slightly darker.
"I really thought something was wrong with him, but it seems he just wanted his big brother," She complained, although she didn't seem as sad as the words she spoke. I was of course passed over to this person called my big brother. He seemed to be 10 or 11, his body thin with his white, pale skin glowing. Even his eyebrows were perfectly made! My new family is so beautiful.
"Tsk, you're four years old and already know how to scam me for my love, hmph" My brothers squeaky voice whined, but his grip tightened, seeming to never want to let go. "Hear me loud and clear brother- you will follow your older brother for life, and I will always take care of you. Mother named me Parker because I am your keeper, and you are Nerian, protected by the heavens. Remember this, little brother."
My days were spent living as a spoiled four year old boy, loved by mother and brother. My mother would always hold me close at night, telling me stories about beast gods and goddesses, the lore intriguing me. I looked forward to this every night. She would rub my head and tuck my hair behind my ears, telling tales of battle and strength. My brother would go to school during the day and return, rushing in to tell me about his day, pinching my cheeks and sneaking me candy behind Mothers back. She always knew though, because my tongue would be blue. Big brother never focused on how to not get caught, he just knew I liked the blue ones best. His toothy grin as he handed me his hard earned present for me melted my heart every time, finally having a family shifted the frozen ice off of me, and it didn't seem like it would be too hard to smile in this life.
That of course, was my last good moment with them, for tragedy always strikes at the moments it hurts the most.
That morning, the television was on the news channel, a blue haired woman warning of the coming storm, advising those who can, please evacuate. The town was in chaos as the powerful winds thrashed through its streets, howling and whistling as the rain whipped about and poured down in torrents. The sheer violence of it all shook the trees, the grey sky crackled with lightning, loud clashes of thunder matching its pace. The bags were packed, we were just about ready to go. I held onto big brothers hand, the storm bringing back the memories of Carson and the pain of drowning with a broken neck. Only big brothers hand can be this warm.
Suddenly, a huge tree crashed though the roof of our home, destroying everything. The sound was deafening, the crunch of the ceiling breaking, white powder rising as it crumbled. The walls collapsed, shattered glass everywhere. The debris was never ending, the walls buckling from the force of the storm and tree, water pouring into the now destroyed house. Picture frames floated away, my brothers homework flying in the wind. As the wind howled and the rain pelted down, the kitchen table flew through the air, hurtling towards me.
"NERIAN!" My mother screeched, rushing towards me and throwing herself in my way, as if by instinct, shielding me with her own body. The table crashed into her with a sickening thud, the recoil throwing her into me. She let out a gasp of pain as the impact sent her sprawling to the ground, her arms reaching out to grab me, wanting to protect me even with her broken body crumpled by the table. Parker rushed forward, panic and fear etched onto his face. He knelt beside us, gently lifting her into his arms, so that we were both cradled by him. Mother didn't let go of me, her last gift as a mother to protect me in death, I was locked into her arms. Parker kept calling and calling for mom, but she didn't answer.
No, she couldn't. No human could survive that hit. She died on impact. Still, Parker continued to call out her name, desperately hoping for a response. I watched in horror, my small body shaking with shock. Now, looking closer, and I can see blood pooling around her body, soaking into my clothes. The air was thick with the smell of blood, and coppery tang that filled the entire space. The floor was slick with it, the rain making the blood spread and wash away, the dark muddy color painting the floor as its canvas. Mothers once beautiful face was now marred by cuts and bruises, her bloodied body bruised inside. Parker just kept screaming and screaming, frantically hugging mom and pulling her. Its no use. After what seemed like hours, Parker's face shifted. He gently brushed Mom's hair out of her face, his hands trembling as he hugged her one last time.
Parker took a deep breath, grabbing me from Moms arms. I looked down, and the image of her bloody and battered body burned into my memory, her last act of love for me eating me alive.
Parker carried me for hours, climbing through the wreckage, hoping to find some kind of shelter. I just held onto him, my feelings numb. I couldn't bring myself to cry; I've already experienced this kind of death. It just felt like everything would be better if I just felt nothing. Big brother and I both. Parker suddenly stopped and sat me down, kneeling down and looking me in my eye. Anger and grief swelled in his eyes, the violet color staring into my own. "Nerian, say something, please?" he spoke, his voice raw with emotion. I couldn't respond - I had no clue how to respond.
What do I say? Mother died because of me, Mother suffered because of me, Mother suffered so horribly because I existed, right? But those words wouldn't be right, so I decided to stay silent. I just stared back at Parker, my eyes staring into his, trying to touch the pain in them.
Suddenly, Parker grabbed me by my shoulders, shaking me so hard my neck snapped. "Why aren't you crying?!" he shouted, his grip tightening with each word. "Don't you care that mom is dead?! Are you mute? What did she even give her life for, in the first place?!" I flinched as Parker's hand connected with my cheek, the force of the slap sending a sharp pain through my jaw. My eyes still refused to cry, burning but with no tears falling. Parkers words stung like a knife, cutting into my heart. "You're supposed to be her son too!" he spat, his voice shaking with emotion. "Why didn't you protect her? Why did you have to be near the table? Why didn't you just stay still and stay in a childs place?!" I trembled, trying to find the right words to say, but when I opened my mouth nothing came out. I reached out my small hand, trembling, wanting big brother to lift me up. But my hand was slapped away, and he turned away from me. This was the first time I saw my brothers back.
And the last.
I stumbled, falling onto the slick mud. A terrible force rushed at me, water and mud heading towards me at a terrifying pace. Trash and debris were carried along with it, the current pulling me away, the last thing I saw being my brother rushing towards me, but he was too late, my body tumbling helplessly with the water and debris, my brothers lips sounding out my name, but I couldn't hear a word.
And then it went black.