The captain had just staggered out of the hall, muttering something about needing another drink. That left the four of them in awkward silence.
The giant, Jack, was the first to speak, his voice deep and booming. "You know, everyone here gets a name. It's kind of a thing."
Leo, the man in the chair, leaned back with a smirk. "Well, technically, you get a nickname. You could just pick one. But… oh!" He snapped his fingers like he'd just remembered something. "They changed the rules. Now you have to pick from a pre-approved list."
Jack rolled his eyes. "Of course they did."
Leo pulled a sleek, gadget-like device from his pocket, flipping it open dramatically. "Let's see what we've got for you." He tapped a few buttons, and a list popped up. Clearing his throat, he began to read aloud:
"McLovin, Foxy, Fluffy, Farty, Booger, Thanos, or Blue Ivy."
The naked man blinked, then let out an incredulous laugh. "What the hell? McLovin? Farty? Booger? Thanos?" His voice rose with each word. "And who the fuck in their right mind think to names someone Blue Ivy? That's gotta be a crime somewhere."
Jack and Emma,the only girl in room , burst into laughter. Jack's booming chuckle echoed in the sterile room, and Emma doubled over, trying to hide her giggles behind her hand.
But Leo held up a hand, his expression suddenly serious. "Guys, guys. It's not funny. This is an important moment for our newbie." He turned back to him with a totally straight face. "So… Thanos, huh?"
"What? No!" Newbie sputtered. "I didn't say—wait…" He sighed, rubbing his temples. "I guess it's less stupid than the others, but still—"
"Don't worry," Leo cut in. "It's not like you'll use it anywhere else. It's just, y'know, for us."
The naked man groaned. "Fine. Whatever. Thanos it is."
"Perfect!" Leo grinned and stood up, pulling out another gadget—a sleek, palm-sized device with glowing blue edges. He grabbed Thanos's hand and pressed it to the device, which lit up with a soft hum. A holographic screen appeared, scanning him from head to toe.
The device beeped, and a prompt appeared: "Please Enter Name."
Leo gestured at it with exaggerated flair. "Go ahead, Thanos. Make it official."
Newbie hesitated, staring at the prompt. "I still don't know about this…"
Leo clapped him on the shoulder. "Come on, man. It's just between us. No one else will even know."
With a resigned sigh, the naked man typed in Thanos. The device beeped again, and the screen flashed: "Registration Complete."
Leo pocketed the device with a satisfied grin. "Congratulations. You're officially Thanos now."
Thanos groaned. "Fine. So, what's your name, anyway?"
"Me? I'm Leo," he said casually. Pointing over his shoulder, he added, "That's Emma," girl gave a lazy wave, "and the big guy over there is Jack."
Thanos's jaw dropped. "Wait. What? How the hell did you guys get normal names?!"
Leo shrugged, smirking. "What can we say? The rules weren't this stupid when we joined."
Leo clapped his hands. "Alright, enough of this. Let's go grab some food. You'll feel better after a meal. Or at least, less angry about being named after a genocidal purple alien."
Leo led the way, pushing Thanos forward. Behind him, Jack and Emma were struggling to keep their laughter under control. Emma smacked Leo on the back, whispering, "You're such a bastard."
Jack, barely able to keep a straight face.
The three of them dissolved into barely-contained laughter as they followed Thanos out of the room.
The eating hall was massive, far bigger than anything Thanos had ever seen in his life—or afterlife, apparently. The ceiling stretched high above, lined with glowing lights, while thousands of people filled long rows of tables, eating and chatting as though this were just another ordinary lunch break.
Thanos stared, wide-eyed, at the sheer scale of it all. "If we're already dead," he asked as they walked in, "then do we really need to eat? How does that even make sense?"
Emma, walking ahead, turned around . "Do you feel hungry?"
"Well, yeah."
"Then shut up and eat," she shot back, striding toward the food dispensers.
Thanos blinked, taken aback. Leaning closer to Jack, he whispered, "Is she always like,,,,, this?"
Jack smirked. "Oh, you mean like a bitch?"
Thanos winced. "I wasn't gonna say that!"
"Don't worry," Jack said with a chuckle. "I get what you mean."
The four of them approached the center of the hall, where rows of strange devices sat glowing on sleek metal counters. People lined up, placing their hands on the machines. Thanos watched in stunned silence as out of nowhere hands popped out of devices holding plates piled high with steaming food. The process was quick and seamless, yet bizarre.
But that was not only strangest part in hall —there was so many strange looking people. Thanos couldn't help but stare at the sheer diversity in the room. Some people had skin in shades of green, blue, and red. Others had horns curling from their foreheads or ears that pointed sharply upward. There were those who towered over the crowd, nearly scraping the ceiling, and others barely tall enough to reach the tables.
As Thanos stood gawking, his eyes landed on someone who seemed to glow among the crowd. A girl with long, golden hair, delicate pointed ears, and features so perfect it was almost painful to look at. She sat at a table with a group of similarly beautiful people, all radiating an otherworldly grace.
Jack noticed his staring. "Elves," he said, his voice low. "One of the most powerful and beautiful races. Don't even think about it, man. You don't have a chance."
Thanos snapped out of it, glaring at him. "Hey, who do you think I am?"
Jack raised an eyebrow. "A pervert."
Thanos rolled his eyes. "That's not fair! I wasn't thinking anything like that!" He paused, sighing. "Besides, it's not like it matters. In my heart, there's already someone. The love of my life."
Jack blinked, caught off guard by the sudden change in tone. Thanos's voice had softened, and his gaze turned distant. "Even if I've died," he said, almost to himself, "her place in my heart will remain forever." He clenched his fists, fighting the sting of tears. "Always."
Jack scratched the back of his head, looking awkward. "Uh… sorry, man."
Jack stepped forward, placing his hand on one of the devices. A hand immediately popped out, holding a plate stacked with food. But instead of going to the table, Jack stayed nearby, keeping an eye on Thanos.
"Go on," he said. "It's your turn."
Thanos hesitated, then stepped up to the device. He placed his hand on the glowing panel, bracing himself for the bizarre hand to appear with his food. But instead of food, the device lit up, displaying his ID.
"What the…?" he muttered, staring at the screen.
Before he could make sense of it, a booming voice echoed through the hall, cutting through the chatter like a knife.
"Attention, everyone!"
The room fell silent, all eyes turning toward Thanos. A red spotlight descended, bathing him in an almost theatrical glow.
"We have a new recruit!" the voice announced, dripping with enthusiasm. "Let me present to you… your new fellow member… 'Thanos'!"
For a moment, there was silence. Then, the hall erupted with laughter.
People banged their tables, wheezing and howling with delight. Leo was doubled over, tears streaming down his face, while Emma buried her face in her hands, shoulders shaking with suppressed laughter. Even Jack couldn't hold back a grin, though he tried to look apologetic.
Someone in the crowd shouted, "Bow to the Mad Titan!"
Another chimed in, "Everyone, hide your stones! Thanos is here to steal them from your pants!"
A hand popped out—not holding food, but instead pointing directly at Thanos.
Then, a head emerged,pale looking man ,half his body out of device,his face twisting into what could only be described as a smirk. "So you're Thanos, huh?" it said, its voice dripping with sarcasm. The head let out a laugh before disappearing back into the machine.
Thanos's face burned as the laughter grew louder. He clenched his fists, glaring at Leo.