I could still picture that night clearly. My mom had sat beside me, holding my small hand in both of hers, her eyes looking tired but kind.
"Will," she'd said, her voice soft, "you know I love you, right?" She gave my hand a squeeze and tried to smile, but I could see tears in her eyes.
"I… I just need some time away, honey," she said, her voice catching. "Sometimes, grown-ups feel a little lost. It's not your fault, not at all. I just need to find myself again."
She looked at me for a long time, brushing my hair back. "It's like when you play with your toys and get tired of the same game. Sometimes, you need to take a break and think of something new to play. I just need a little time to think of what I want to do."
I shook my head, feeling a bit confused. I didn't really get it. I was just a kid, after all. What did toys have to do with her leaving? Why couldn't she just stay and figure things out with us? It didn't make sense to me. I just wanted my mom to be there, not away somewhere trying to find herself.
I hugged her tight, knowing it would be the last time. Tears ran down my face as I cried. I wanted to say something, but I couldn't. My mom was leaving, and it felt really wrong. I didn't understand everything she said, but I could feel something was off.
When my mom left, it felt like my whole world changed. I just knew she wasn't coming back. I kept asking my dad when she would come home, hoping he would say something different. But he always told me, "She's not coming back, buddy," and that made me sad.
My dad tried hard to take care of me and my older sister , do everything by himself. He worked a lot, made dinner, and tried to keep things normal. But I could see he was sad too. It felt like he had to work extra hard to keep everything okay, and it made him tired and quiet.
My older sister, Harrieth, is five years older than me. When Mom left, she really stepped up. Dad was always busy with work and wasn't home much, so Harrieth took care of a lot of things. She said, "Dad is just tired from working all the time. He loves us and is doing his best. Let's help him by keeping things calm at home." I could see how much she cared.
Sometimes, Harrieth made dinner and helped me with my homework. "Come on, it's just math! Let me show you how to do this. You can do it! I believe in you!" she would say. When Dad worked late, she even took me to school.
One time, when I was really sad and crying alone, she sat next to me and said, "I know it's hard, Will. I miss her too. But we still have each other, okay? We can get through this together." It made me feel a little better knowing I wasn't alone.
Harrieth was always patient with me, even when I annoyed her. She would read me stories at night and listen whenever I wanted to talk. But I could tell she missed Mom just like I did. Sometimes, I felt bad because she had to grow up so fast. I wished she could just be my sister and have fun with me again, but I was really thankful she was there.
At school, I didn't talk about my mom. I didn't tell my teachers or my friends. I thought that if I kept it all inside, maybe it wouldn't really be happening. But every day after school, when I came home to a quiet house with just my dad and sister, I felt that empty space where my mom used to be. She wasn't there to ask how my day was or to help me with my homework. She wasn't there to make my favorite dinners or read me stories at night. The little things that had seemed normal before now felt like big holes in my life.
As I got older, I started to think I didn't need anyone. I figured people wouldn't stick around, so I learned to do things by myself. I kept telling myself that trusting others was too risky. My mom had left, so it felt safer to stay away from people. If I didn't get close, I wouldn't get hurt again. But deep down, I missed being close to someone. I wanted to trust people, but I was always scared they would leave me, so I held back.
When it came to dating, things got tricky. I started going out with girls, and I liked hanging out with them. But as soon as things felt like they were getting serious, I'd pull away. I'd come up with reasons to break up or tell myself the relationship wasn't working. Whenever I got close to someone, I'd feel this tightness in my chest, like an alarm saying, "Don't go any further." I worried that if I let myself care too much, I'd end up hurt. My mom had loved me, too, and then she left.
There was one girl in high school named Hannah who got closer to me than anyone else. She was really patient, kind, and truly cared about me. For a while, I thought maybe I could let her in.
It was a sunny day, and our class was going to the science museum. I was excited but a bit nervous. My best friend, Kevin, was with me. We walked around the museum and looked at cool things.
While we were by a big dinosaur skeleton, I saw a girl nearby. She had long brown hair and green eyes. She was laughing with her friends, and I couldn't help but smile. Kevin elbowed me and said, "You should go talk to her!"
I felt scared. "I can't do that," I said. But Kevin pushed me to try. So, I took a deep breath and walked over to her. I gathered all my courage and stood next to her. "Look at that big dinosaur! It's huge!" I said to get her attention.
"I know, right? I can't believe they used to walk on the Earth!" Hannah said. I was really happy she answered me.
"Do you think it was scary?" I asked.
"Definitely! But I think they were also really cool," she said with a big smile.
"Yeah, like in a movie!" I said, imagining it. "I wonder if they could run fast."
"I bet they could! Imagine running away from one!" she laughed.
I felt braver now. "What's your favorite dinosaur?" I asked.
Hannah thought for a second. "I like the Triceratops. They have three big horns! What about you?"
"I like the T-Rex. They were the kings of the dinosaurs!" I said.
"True! But I wouldn't want to meet one in real life!" she giggled.
"Me neither!" I said, laughing with her. "That would be really scary!"
"Hi! I'm William Lee, Will for short," I said. She smiled and said, "Hi, I'm Hannah Grace!" It was easy to talk to her, and we both laughed.
We spent the day exploring the museum, having fun, talking and laughing a lot.
At the end of the trip, we exchanged phone numbers. When we said goodbye, I felt a little happy. Maybe I could be friends with Hannah.
After that day, Hannah and I got really close. We hung out a lot at school and even went out with our friends sometimes.
A year passed, and by our second year of high school, it wasn't just a friendship anymore. Being with her felt different—something more.
After class one day, I went up to Hannah. "Hey, there's this cool cafeteria nearby. Wanna go check it out with me?" I asked, hoping she'd say yes.
"Why not?!" Hannah said, her smile shining bright. It was the kind of smile that made me forget everything else. For a moment, I could only think about how much I wanted to be near her.
I suddenly took her hand and gently pulled her toward the cafeteria. I could see her cheeks turning red in the sunlight. Hannah was really beautiful.
I ordered her favorite, Coffee Jello, and I got my usual soda because I don't drink coffee.
"You always remember," she said, smiling about the Coffee Jello.
"Of course! How could I forget?" I replied, looking into her eyes.
She looked shocked for a moment, and I was surprised too. "What's wrong?" I asked, noticing her worried face. "I forgot my bracelet in the storage room," she said. "I took it off and put it on one of the boxes."
"Don't worry, we can go back and look for it," I said, trying to make her feel better. Then I kissed her forehead.
"Thank you," she said, and her cheeks turned red again. I liked it when that happened because her blush felt like a sign that she really appreciated what I said or did for her.
We quickly finished our drinks and headed to the storage room at school.
When we got back, it was dark outside. The school was quiet, and I could hear our footsteps echoing in the empty hall. The storage room was unlocked, which was good. I opened the door for Hannah, and we went inside together, hoping to find her bracelet fast.
"It's so dark in here. How will we be able to find my bracelet?" Hannah asked, her voice sounding worried.
It was pitch black inside, and the darkness outside made it even worse.
"Don't worry, I'm going to find the light switch," I said, reaching out with my right hand to feel the wall.
As I slowly walked in, I tripped on something and fell flat on the floor. My heart started racing. I reached out in front of me and felt something soft. What was it? Was it Hannah's bracelet or something else?