This story contains dark elements, as well as reader (maybe) pursuing some age-gap relationships. (But, if you're reading an Akatsuki x Reader, I'm pretty sure you're aware of that lol) Trigger warning for all my girlies with daddy issues 😔✊🏻 This one's for you. You're not alone. Anyways, enjoy. Comments are always welcome!
Small Note:
Y/n - Your name
L/n - Last name
*** - flashback sequence
—
The moon hung high in the sky, casting a pale, silvery glow that bathed the room in an eerie light. The cold night air drifted in through the open balcony doors, though you hardly noticed the chill as the weight of the moment pressed down on you. You were too consumed by the turmoil inside, the fear of losing him.
"Itachi, don't—please, don't go!" Your voice cracked, the words tumbling out in desperation as tears welled up in your eyes. You had known this day was coming for so long, but nothing could have prepared you for the pain of watching him leave. "There has to be another way... please, don't leave me."
His hands, as steady as ever, gently cupped your cheek. His touch was warm, a stark contrast to the coldness surrounding you.
"You're going to be alright," he said softly, his voice like a quiet promise, but it only made the ache in your chest worse.
"No!" You shook your head, unable to hold back the sobs. "I can't! I won't!"
He sighed, a quiet, sorrowful sound. His gaze softened, and for a moment, the usual cold mask slipped just slightly. His eyes were full of something rare—guilt, regret, and perhaps the faintest trace of longing. "Listen to me," He coaxed. "You're going to be alright." He repeats. "You're going to continue living. You can move forward…away from this. You don't have to stay with The Akatsuki. You can break free. You can start a new life…find someone…and start a family. You can be happy."
Your heart shattered at his words. You tried to steady your breathing, to stop the flood of tears, but the idea of a future without him felt impossible. He was everything. He was all you had left in this world. You didn't care how pathetic it may have looked. You loved him. You loved him more than anyone or anything. You'd do anything to keep him safe, even if it meant setting aside your pride as a shinobi and begging. "No! I don't want that unless it's with you…!" You cry.
His face softened even more, a fleeting, almost imperceptible change. For a moment, his cold demeanor faltered, and you thought you saw the smallest flicker of hesitation. It was as if, even just for a second, he was imagining the life he couldhave. He could have peace. He could have love. He could have…joy. Unfortunately, he knew none of that was meant to be. He made a promise, a promise he would never break. He would protect his little brother no matter the cost. He would make sure that boy succeeded…even if it meant sacrificing his own life. And, with this…he would finally pay for his own sins.
You look up at him with desperate eyes, tears continuing to roll down your cheeks. "…Please," You repeat once more. "Don't you understand? You could be happy…"
It goes silent for a long moment after that, the two of you just staring at each other. You watch as his expression shifts, making your eyes go slightly wide. He was…smiling? This was a rare sight. Itachi Uchiha hardly ever displayed emotions such as joy, but right now, you don't think you'd ever seen him look happier. "…I am." He finally speaks up. "I really am, Y/n. You've shown me what happiness is. You've given me more love and care than someone like me deserves. You helped me find the joy and peace that I never thought I'd feel again. So, for that, I thank you."
Your heart sank, the weight of his words sinking into your chest like a stone. He didn't often say words of affection like that, and really, he didn't need to. You knew the way he felt about you. His actions always spoke louder than his words, but it did feel nice to actually hear him say it for once. You'd always strived to make him happy, and now, he had confirmed that all your efforts had payed off. He was happy. He could face his mortality with a smile…but that's not what you wanted. You didn't want him to die. You'd lost far too many people in your life. Why couldn't the misery just end?
You lower head with a sniffle. "…Please, Itachi…I love you. I love you so, so much. I can't…I can't be happy without—"
You cut off as you feel him lift your chin, his lips meeting your own. You could feel all his love and compassion here in this moment. You knew that he intended this to be his kiss goodbye…but you couldn't accept that. You wouldn't lose another person. Not this time. No, you would keep fighting. You couldn't let him die!
After another moment, you felt him lean back, his lips leaving yours. "Itachi," You begin, your eyes fluttering open. "Please, don't—" Your words died on your lips when you saw it. His eyes were glowing, a vivid crimson red, the swirling pattern of his Sharingan staring back at you with a haunting intensity. Your heart dropped into your stomach, a look of fear and confusion twisting onto your face.
"Forgive me…" His deep followed.
No…you couldn't believe this.
It was in this moment you finally realized what he intended to do. He was going to make sure you didn't interfere no matter what. He was going to guarantee your safety, while also ensuring his battle with Sasuke.
It was too late now. You had only looked for a moment, but that's all it took…
Lights out.
By the time you snapped out of this genjutsu…it'd be over. He'd be gone. How could you of been so foolish? You should've known he would pull something like this. That was the thing about Itachi. He wanted to protect the people he cared about, even if it meant reverting to a low trick like this. Yet, in doing so, he always had to face everything on his own. Yes…Itachi Uchiha carried the weight of the world on his shoulders. All by himself. Alone.
Damn, this really had taken the worst turn of events. But, deep down, you always knew this is how things were gonna go. This is how things always went for you. Why? Why was there so much misery and despair? Why couldn't your happiness ever last? It was like the world hated you…hated you so much. You supposed there was no point in dwelling on it now. By the time you woke up, everything that once was, would no longer be. Every moment spent with Itachi would be nothing more than a distant memory.
For now, you were stuck in a dream…or maybe a nightmare. To the outside world, this genjutsu may only last a few moments or so, but to you, it was like your entire life was flashing before your eyes. Everything, down to the smallest detail.
How the hell did you end up in this situation anyways? You often thought about how your life could've been different. Maybe if you would've made different decisions, or met different people. Maybe if you would've been born to a different family. Every moment, every choice, and every person played a role…
You just kept sinking deeper and deeper into this genjutsu…
Deeper into the past…
—
This was the place; you were sure of it. The faint, almost imperceptible traces of chakra you sensed inside confirmed it. The presence of powerful forces—dangerous ones—prickled at the back of your neck. Your body tensed, but you didn't allow the fear to paralyze you. That wasn't an option. You were on the run now. You needed protection and security. This was the only way—
Your thoughts were cut off as you felt a rush of energy surge through you. Your sensory skills were telling you one thing: Danger. Something wasn't right…!
Your body moved on its own, instantly jumping back. It seemed it was just in time too, because you were just milliseconds away from becoming a casualty. There's a loud crash as a figure leaps down from above, their large sword breaking the ground where you had stood just moments ago. You heave out a breath as the dust and dirt from the impact clears, revealing one of the most intimidating men you'd ever seen in your whole life. He had a large, muscular frame, and was tall…like really tall. That wasn't what was bothering you though. No. It was his razor-sharp teeth and shark-like appearance. Not to mention that huge sword he was wielding. He must've been a shinobi of The Mist…
A grin tugs at the man's lips as he pulls his sword from the ground. "Judging by the way you dodged that…you're not just some ignorant fool who had the misfortune of stumbling upon our base," he spoke up. "What's a little girl like you doing out here?"
You swallowed hard, your hands trembling slightly as you took in the intimidating figure before you. Despite your fear, you straightened your back and met his gaze with a determined look. You remembered Kabuto's warning. You needed to be tough. You couldn't show fear if you wanted to be a part of this organization. "…I'm here to speak to Pain."
The man let out a chuckle. "You really think you can just waltz in here and demand an audience with our leader?" He asked, almost mockingly.
"I'm not just any random person off the street," you retort. "I want to be initiated. I have skills that could be valuable to the Akatsuki."
"Is that so...?" He mused. "Why should I believe you?"
"Please, I've come all this way. I'm not here to start trouble, I swear. I'm unarmed and—"
"Being armed has nothing to do with it."
You can feel your brow twitch slightly at his interruption. He wasn't even hearing you out. "…What? You think you wouldn't be able to beat me if I, for some reason, started using ninjutsu?"
…
There's a moment of silence before the man's lips curl into a smirk. "…You know what? I like you." He states plainly. "You've got guts, sweetheart, I'll give you that." He adds. "I suppose it wouldn't hurt to hear what you have to say. But I'll warn you now, we don't tolerate anyone wasting our time or putting our organization at risk."
You nod, feeling a flicker of hope. "I understand."
"…Alright, don't say I didn't warn you." He replies. "Follow me. I'll take you to Pain, but I can't promise he'll be impressed by what you have to say."
"Thank you…"
The air feels heavy with anticipation as you follow him into the Akatsuki HQ, your heart pounding in your chest. You were one step closer to meeting Pain, but you knew the real challenge was still ahead. Getting in was one thing, but now you actually had to convince them to let you stay…
The interior of the HQ was just as grim and foreboding as the exterior. Dark stone walls, dim lighting, and an aura of menace that seemed to seep from every surface. The shark-like man continues to lead you down what felt like a labyrinth of corridors, each step echoing ominously, amplifying your anxiety. You take a deep breath, steeling yourself for the encounter ahead. This was your chance to prove your worth, and you couldn't afford to falter now.
…
After what felt like an eternity, the two of you arrived at a large, heavily fortified door. The man knocked twice, the sound echoing in the cavernous space. A few moments later, a deep, rumbling voice called out from the other side. "Enter."
The Mist shinobi looks down at you with a grin. "Well, looks like you've got your audience."
You can feel your breath catch in your throat. "W-Wait, that's it? You're not gonna introduce us or—"
He was already walking off before you had the chance to finish. The door creaked open, revealing a dark room with a single, dimly lit figure seated at the far end of a large meeting table. The weight of the moment pressed down on you, but you took a step forward, ready to face whatever came next.
As you step into the room, the door closes behind you with a heavy thud, sealing you inside. Your eyes immediately lock onto the imposing figure seated before you: Pain, the leader of the Akatsuki. You hardly realized how long you were staring until he spoke up. "State your business."
You clear your throat as his voice seems to snap you back to reality. "…My name is Y/n, I'm a sensory and healing type shinobi." You introduce yourself. "I want to join The Akatsuki. I believe my skills could be an asset to the organization, and I'm willing to contribute whatever I can for the sake of its success."
His piercing eyes narrow. "…Why?" He asks, his voice devoid of emotion. "What do you have to gain from this?"
You pause a moment. Him asking that sure did make you feel selfish…and maybe this, all of this, was selfish. But, it's not like you had much of a choice. If you wanted to live, then this was your only option. From here on out, you needed to view Pain as your new superior…which meant: you'd have to be completely honest with him, the same way you had been with your former master…
"…Additionally, I have a personal reason for wanting to join."
You watch as he stands, slowly beginning to make his way over to you. "Oh?" You hold your ground as he approaches, despite the way your stomach was churning. The closer proximity provided you with a better look at him, at least. He was draped in the same dark cloak that Mist shinobi had been wearing, and his face was marred by a plethora of piercings and markings. "And, what might that be?"
You swallow, debating on how much information to share. You didn't have to say everything…but you should be honest."I'm on the run," you revealed. "I've been on the move for some time, and I need a safe place to stay. I figured that The Akatsuki could provide me with security and protection."
Pain seemed to consider your words for a moment, his expression shrewd. "Your healing skills would certainly be useful to us," he said. "And the fact that you're a sensory ninja only adds to your value. But we don't typically accept members merely because they're in need of shelter."
"I understand," you answer. "But I'm not just a fledgling looking for a warm bed to sleep in." You claim. "…I— I want to fight for a good cause…to fix the mistakes I've made."
"Mistakes?"
"…I guess I haven't always been fighting for the right reasons." You admit. "But, I want to. I want to fight for a better world." You continue. "I've seen and experienced the cruelty of this era firsthand. I don't know much about the perfect world, since I've never experienced such myself…but what I do know is: this world doesn't feel right."
There's a moment of silence before Pain speaks again. He could see it in you…the hope and determination of that friend he'd lost all those years ago. "…You have potential." He says, causing a flicker of hope to spark within you. "But, I can't just accept anyone. I need to know that you're truly willing to do whatever it takes to serve the Akatsuki. We're not a charity organization. We demand loyalty, obedience, and dedication from our members."
"I understand the commitment I'm making, and I'm prepared to give it my all." You assure him.
Pain seems to study you for another moment, his gaze intense and calculating. "…Very well," he finally says. "I will permit you to join the Akatsuki…but, only after a test of your ability. I need to know you can hold your own and keep up with the others."
Oh, just great. A test? Guess you shouldn't be surprised, it only made sense after all. Anyone could claim to be a skilled shinobi, but putting those skills into combat was a different matter entirely. You don't dawdle on the thought for too long. You couldn't hesitate if you wanted to prove your willingness. "I understand. I promise to show you my worth."
Pain grunts in acknowledgment, gesturing for you to walk with him. "Good. You'll stay in a spare room for tonight, and by tomorrow morning, I'll have an initiation test prepared for you." He tells you. "If you complete it successfully, you can move into your own quarters and become an official member of The Akatsuki." He explains.
"Thank you, I won't let you down—"
"But," He speaks up once more, pausing in his tracks as he turns to look at you. "…If you fail to meet our expectations, or try to betray us in any way…I'll kill you."
You can feel your heart drop as his words pierce you like a knife. You'd been trying to hide your emotions this whole time, but the fear was now clearly evident on your face. You knew he was serious. You only had one shot to get this right. Your life, quite literally, depended on this.
There was no need for elaboration or further conversation. That had been a warning. No more, no less. "…Come." Pain instructs, before beginning to walk forward once more.
You let out a shaky breath, but follow after him regardless. You knew the risks of coming here, and now you needed to face them head on. This was your decision…the rest was up to fate.
—
After a few minutes of walking, the two of you arrived at a solid oak door with a single, bare lightbulb hanging above it. Without a word, Pain held the door open, gesturing for you to enter.
You stepped inside the room, your eyes taking in the simplicity of the space. It was small and sparsely furnished, containing only a bed, a table with a single chair, and a mini fridge. There were no other notable features, except for the small bathroom attached.
After glancing around for another moment, you turned to look at Pain, who was now leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed. "This is your temporary room," he said, stating the obvious. "And, for tonight, I'm going to ask that you don't leave."
You frowned, though you supposed it made sense. He'd only known you for a short period of time, so he had no reason to trust you yet. But, that's what tomorrow was for. You'd prove your loyalty and determination. "Okay, no problem."
Pain nodded in response. "Get some rest, and be ready bright and early tomorrow."
"Aye-aye, sir!~" you answered in a singsongy voice, while giving him a cute looking army salute.
You watched as his nose crinkled slightly in response. Okay, maybe that had been too much. You needed to stay serious, at least until you'd been officially initiated. …You'd always wanted to do that though…cross it off the bucket list.
"…Sleep well," he concluded, lightly pulling the door shut as he walked out.
…
You were left alone in the small room, your mind replaying the events of the day as if trying to fully process everything. You take a deep breath, hoping to calm your racing heart. This was good…right? You'd done it. You'd gotten here. You'd convinced Pain…well, sorta. It was start. That's all that mattered.
You shrug off your small travel bag, gently placing it onto the bed. You hadn't been able to bring much, but once you became an official member and moved in, you could replenish your supplies…well, if you became an official member. You quickly shake your head, as if trying to ward off the negative thoughts. You needed to stay positive. No doubts. No negativity. You could do this. No, you would do this. You hadn't come all this way for nothing.
Without further ado, you proceed with your nightly routine and eventually settle into bed. Tomorrow was a new day, and you would have to start proving yourself immediately. You needed every bit of rest you could get.