A few days to their high school graduation, Chin-hwa got a very shocking news. He heard Kang-woo was going to be leaving for the States to study.
It was like a very bad dream, a nightmare.
"Why are you leaving?" He asked Kang-woo after hurrying to his house, which wasn't very far from theirs. "It's not true, right? Father says you have to leave but you don't necessarily have to, right? We can still go to Seoul University together, right?"
But Kang-woo, who already knew how this news would break Chin-hwa, found it hard to deny the fact. He did not want to act like it bothered him when he did, so he said,
"Sorry, Hwa. I need to go study abroad." He said. "And this time, you just can't come with me."
"Why do you need to study abroad?" Chin-hwa yelled, losing his cool. His lips quivered and his eyes trembled. "Can't you..." He slowly reached for Kang-woo's shirt. "Just stay with me, like you've always been doing?"
It took a moment for Kang-woo to pick himself up, not giving in to Chin-hwa's plea.
"I'm sorry, but I don't think we can." Kang-woo said, sounding blunt. "At least, not for now. I need to leave and I can't afford to take you with me. It can't happen."
"Why can't it happen?!" Chin-hwa yelled once more, showing how angry he was. "I just need to go with you and study there as well, money isn't a problem. So, why can't I go with you?"
"You can't!" Kang-woo yelled back. "You just can't, so forget about it."
Chin-hwa's eyes were struck with shock and confusion. Why was... Kang-woo yelling at him?
It was the first time Kang-woo was yelling at him and it was with a rejection. Those words, 'you can't' felt like a jab at Chin-hwa's heart. Being rejected for this opportunity to go with Kang-woo to the States was the same as his feelings of being completely rejected.
It hurt a lot.
"Why?" Chin-hwa asked, his face overflowing with his hurtful tears and Kang-woo gasped. "Why can't I go with you? Give me a reason."
Kang-woo, who wanted so badly to stretch his arms out and wrap them around the crying Chin-hwa, restrained himself and turned his head away.
"I can't give you a reason." Kang-woo said. "So, forget about it."
"Ah, did you... Suddenly come to hate me?" Chin-hwa asked and Kang-woo gasped, turning to Chin-hwa right away. Why would he come up with that theory all of a sudden?
"Hate you? Why would I...?"
He paused, seeing the hurting anger in Chin-hwa's eyes. He was doing it again. If he tried to console Chin-hwa, he would only give him false hope and he didn't want that.
He wanted to promise Chin-hwa that he would be back for him in a few years but that was the same as giving false hope.
For all he knew, he may not survive to keep that promise.
"Ah, so it's true." Chin-Hwa said and squatted down. "Was I a bad friend? Did I do anything to upset you? What did I do, Byul? Tell me. Tell me so that I can change. You can't... Ngh, you can't leave me like this. You can't leave me. We're supposed to be together forever, aren't we?"
Chin-hwa cried. Since no one would tell him why, he could only come up with these various assumptions, and the worst part of it all was that Kang-woo wasn't even trying to console him like he usually did.
"Don't think that way, Hwa." Kang-woo said. "You're not a bad person and I don't hate you. But in life... Choices have to be made, I guess. And in this case, I decided on a path, completely different from yours."
"But why?" Chin-hwa cried. "Don't you... Want to be friends anymore?"
Kang-woo took one long and painful look at Chin-hwa's pain, his heart thumping painfully and he answered,
"I want to keep being friends with you. I want to be your friend forever, Hwa, but for now, let us part ways. Please, understand."
Chin-hwa was only moved to more hitter tears. What was he saying? They needed to part ways? He still wanted to be friends?
Those words were all so contradicting. If he looked at it from a long shot, it was Kang-woo saying he wanted to be away from him so he would be able to keep their friendship. Just what the hell was that?
"It's time to home now, Chin-hwa. It'll rain soon." Kang-woo said and Chin-hwa slowly got up. "Come, I'll take you back." He stretched his hand towards Chin-hwa but Chin-hwa slapped it away.
"I will... Head home myself." He said. "And I will ask my parents. I want to go with you, no matter what. So," he showed his painfully contorted expression before turning around. "Do not dare leave before I get permission to go with you."
After boldly saying that, Chin-hwa walked back the way he came leaving Kang-woo with a trembling hand and teary eyes.
He never knew a day would come when he would have to hurt Chin-Hwa like that. He just... Never imagined it. But now that he did, he felt his whole body squeezing in like he had committed a heinous crime.
He cried while apologizing countless times to Chin-hwa who could not hear these apologies.
Chin-hwa walked for a while but stopped under a lamppost. There was a bench underneath the lamp so he sat there, crying.
He didn't know what was going on or why Kang-woo had to go that far, why he wanted to be away from him, but he knew it was painful as hell.
His heart wouldn't stop aching and his mind wouldn't stop screaming at him.
He cried there, and the rain started pouring, but he did not stand up from that position.
His phone rang but he did not answer it, leaving it to ring and the people who cared about him to worry. They called Kang-woo, who grew even more worried and set out to look for him, yelling out his name, and then he found him sitting under the lamppost and drenched in the rain.
"Hwa, why are you doing this?" He asked, covering him with his umbrella. "You're going to catch a cold. A serious one. You know how weak your body is."
Chin-hwa stayed silent, his tears flowing down alongside the rain.
"Come, let me take you home right away. It's not safe for you to be in the rain any longer."