What would you say could be the cause of a life long heart ache, a broken heart that could not be fixed?
Is it wrong timing?
Wrong decisions?
Underestimating the love interest?
Or is it the love interest underestimating you?
In any case, Chin-hwa just wanted to have a little family of his own. He wanted to love and be loved.
He didn't want to have to pass through pain before realizing that he was truly in love with someone or that someone was in love with him so deeply that they could run mad.
But even at that, even with all his thoughts of wanting to meet the right guy, love and be loved, he could not open his heart to anyone. Just... anyone.
And that was because he already had one in his heart. That one guy, that one Alpha he wanted to be with. That one Alpha that shone like a star in the middle of a dark tunnel.
That Byul...
********
"Chin-Hwa, hurry up; we're going to be late." Came the hearty voice of Chin-hwa's friends as they made their way toward their next lecture hall.
"Coming."
Chin-hwa made his way through the bustling corridor; the scent of different pheromones mixed together in the mid-afternoon filled the air, replacing the worn textbooks smell that had filled his senses that morning.
It was mid-afternoon, so a lot of people had begun to sweat, unintentionally releasing pheromones smells, and Chin-hwa, whose senses were very sensitive to pheromones, perceived them more than anyone else.
But it didn't exactly bother him. He had learned to live with it.
Lost in thought and trying to catch up with his group of friends up front, he didn't notice the group of students walking past him in an unusual number, not until a familiar pheromone slithered past his nose like a slippery snake, causing him to halt his steps right away.
It was a warm, comforting smell, reminiscent of lazy summer afternoons and childhood laughter. His heart skipped a beat. Could it be...?
Time seemed to freeze as he locked eyes with a figure across the hallway. The figure who was standing amid that unusual number that was crowding the corridor for no good reason had paused and turned to him. He was Byul.
He had the same piercing gaze he had as a kid and the same chiseled features, but they were now more refined as he was more mature than the last time they saw each other.
A subtle jawline, sharp cheekbones, and full lips curved into a gentle smile as his sharp and surprised gaze softened while gazing at Chin-Hwa.
Chin-hwa's breath got caught for what felt like an eternity, his pulse racing from feelings that he forgot he ever had.
For a moment, the world around them melted away, leaving only the two of them, suspended in a sea of familiarity.
This was like a dream. What was he doing here? And why... Why was he only staring?
Chin-hwa's thoughts, accompanied by his racing pulse almost drove him to say a word but in a split moment, the silence that had covered their surroundings broke as he heard his name,
"Hey, Chin-hwa, come on! You're sure taking your sweet time." His friends tugged him forward, breaking the seeming spell that had been cast on them.
It was so noisy all of a sudden.
Chin-hwa's eyes lingered on Byul's, reluctant to tear his gaze away but he had to.
As he turned to leave, Byul's smile grew, and he tilted his head, his deep and well-toned voice barely above a whisper as he said warmly,
"It's been a while, little Hwa."
He watched Chin-hwa leave with his friends at a quickened pace. They were in such a hurry.
"Is something wrong, Kang-woo Sunbae?" A girl in his company asked and he turned to them, smiling friendly.
"No, nothing. I think I saw someone I know." He said.
"Oh, you must know a lot of people. Since you only went to the states in..." Their voices faded away with Byul's mind drifting away and glancing back at Chin-hwa's fleeting figure.
Their chatter faded into the background as his mind replayed the encounter- Byul's soft-looking brown eyes, his lush lips that were as soft as marshmallows, his dark blonde hair that would always seem to shine under the starlight, sun, and moonlight.
It always left him breathless when he saw it as a kid. Chinhwa was always so golden. Ah, seeing him again made him feel so excited. He couldn't wait to talk to him again.
Chin-Hwa listened to his lectures, but he couldn't help but daydream. He fluttered his eyelashes, recalling his encounter with Byul and his mind began to wander, memories of Byul flooding his thoughts.
Summer afternoons spent chasing fireflies, lazy mornings sharing secrets, giggling in excitement, and making promises.
Where did those days go?
It was summer and of course, they were very hot.
Their families decided to spend the summer at a beach house.
8 years old Chinhwa and Byul sneaked out to watch the fireflies.
(Ahem, sorry to interrupt. I just remembered this isn't exactly a pleasant memory for anyone who has read It's Just A Picture (BL) this part of sneaking out to watch fireflies was practically the start of all their troubles. But don't worry, folks. Nothing is going to go wrong here. At least, there are no cliffs, hehe)
They both sat side by side, watching fireflies dance in the evening air but weren't satisfied with just watching.
"Byul, catch one for me!" Chin-hwa exclaimed, eyes wide with excitement as he watched the fireflies roam freely.
Byul smiled, his eyes crinkling in delight.
"Okay, little Hwa." He said and got up.
"Don't call me little when we're the same age." Chinhwa pouted his lips. This was the 100th time he was saying that, but he actually liked the nickname he had been given.
Byul laughed gently and then slowly cupped his hands, capturing a single firefly and giving it no chance to escape.
"Do you want the firefly or not?" He asked, using this as a bargaining chip.
"Yes, I want it," Chin-hwa said, his eyes glittering at the thought of having the firefly in his own hands but Byul pushed his hands back, rolling his eyes away and smiling.
"Then you'll have to let me call you little Hwa, little Hwa."
"But you're already doing it." Chin-hwa said.
"Yes, but I just want to get your permission this time." Byul said and loved his face closer. "Will you let me call you little Hwa?"
Chin-hwa's face went red as his face wrinkled in his endeavor to think like a grown-up. What would Ryu-Ryu do in a situation like that? He asked himself, but it was too hard, and he just went with the easy road.
"Alright, Byul. You can call me whatever you want." He said and Byul laughed.
"You're so cute." Chin-hwa blushed and watched Byul open his hands to reveal the firefly. "You know, little Hwa, fireflies light up for their friends. Just like us."
Chin-hwa's face lit up as he asked, "Really?"
Byul nodded. "Yeah. And we're like fireflies, always finding each other."
Their hands touched, and Chin-hwa blushed, looking away.
"But I want to be more than friends with Byul," he muttered. "Let's... Let's get married in the future."
Byul looked at him and then smiled softly.
"Yes, let's get married. But we'll have to be friends first, okay?"
"It's a deal." Chin-hwa announced, taking out his pinky to swear a pinky promise with Byul.
Byul was happy and made the promise.
"So this means after being friends with little Hwa, I'll get to marry little Hwa, right?" Chin-hwa nodded, giving full consent.
"Yes, yes. We'll get married after being friends."
That was such a happy moment. He thought every day would be like that. He thought he would get to spend every single day with Byul, just as he had been doing since they were born. But...
"Hey, Hwa! Earth to Hwa!" His friend's finger snap at his face bolted him out of his thoughts and their laughter swiftly followed.
Chin-hwa blinked, finding himself back in the bustling cafeteria. His friends' concerned yet amused expressions surrounded him.
"Hwa, you okay? You spaced out," One of them said, waving a hand in front of his face. That was Dong-cha. A female Alpha in their group of friends. "Are you sick?"
Chin-hwa brushed the back of his neck and said, "No, I'm fine. I'm sorry. I just got lost in thought for a bit."
Their curiosity was palpable, but Chin-hwa wasn't ready to share.
"Let's just focus on lunch, okay?" Another of his friends, the one who had snapped a finger at his face to bring him back to reality, said. That was Beom-Chim. A male beta and an extremely intelligent student.
"Good idea." The one sitting next to Chin-hwa said. He was an Omega, just like Chin-hwa, but was more vibrant and 'colorful' than Chin-hwa, who sought not to stand out no matter what. His name was Yun-Tae.
And then there was Seoung-bo, a female beta who went around with Dong-cha, if not with the rest of the group.
She was vibrant, smart, and the most rational in the group.
This group of friends, Chin-hwa, had been with them for two years, and he was extremely comfortable with them. He was glad that he got to be friends with them.
They were the perfect cover for his outstanding self.
As they returned to their conversation, Chin-hwa lowered his gaze to look at his barely touched food, and once again, his thoughts drifted, still lingering on Byul and their little 'reunion'.