"Take the next one out–"
The voice tore through the biting cold of the winter morning, its edge sharper than the frost in the air. But in the bowels of the ship, the cold was a thousand needles burrowing into my skin, searing pain that crept deeper with every wave that carried us closer to Japan. We had been promised something, my mother and I. Something far greater than the land we once knew. Yet on that day, the lie unraveled with the sound of my mother's screams.
"Mother!" I gasped, jolting awake just in time to see them drag her away like an animal. Her cries pierced through the clamor as the men swarmed the hold, storming in like ravenous yokai. Their hands clawed at us—grimy, violent, unyielding—as they ripped us from the fleeting sanctuary of the darkness.
"Koko, kusai ne. (Stinks in here, doesn't it?)" one of them muttered, his voice detached and mocking. A man loomed behind him, standing tall above the chaos, his crimson and black samurai armor catching flickers of light. He was immaculate, his beard long and carefully groomed despite its ashen hue. His mere presence commanded silence, his dark eyes gleaming with something colder than the ocean.
"Kore, dou suru ka? (What are we going to do with this one?)" one of them sneered as they held my mother down. Her screams turned raw, her voice cracking as she fought against their relentless grip.
"Ne, ne, kanojo wo motasete kuremasu ka? (Hey, hey, can I have her?)" another laughed, his gaze roaming over her like she was nothing more than prey. She flailed, kicking wildly, her nails splintering against the rotting wood in a desperate attempt to claw herself free.
"Mom!" I screamed, throwing myself forward only to be yanked back by rough hands.
"No! Leave him alone!" My mother's voice broke into sobs as she thrashed harder. Blood streaked her fingertips where her nails had torn away, staining the filthy planks beneath her.
"Wakaru ka? (Do you get that?)" one of them asked, glancing at his comrade.
"Iie. (Nah.)"
Their laughter drowned out my cries as I fought against their grip. My chest burned, and my strength waned, but I couldn't stop.
"Sore wa wasurenai de! (Don't forget that one!)" the bearded samurai barked, his tone sharp and commanding.
They dragged us all away, one by one, my mother's figure vanishing into the chaos.
"Mother… Mother!"
Her name was all I had left, the word spilling from my lips like a prayer.
The snow stung my bare feet like molten shards of glass. I ran, the chains of my enslavement rattling with every step. My breath ripped from my chest in ragged sobs, visible in the frozen night as I stumbled onward.
"Ano gaki wa doko ni itta!? (where did that brat go!?)" I heard the roars of my masters behind me, but I didn't look back, I couldn't look back! I need to leave this place!
(My darling boy…)
"Mother…" I whispered. Her image burned in my mind—her screams, her bloodied hands, the way they tore her away from me.
(Shh, my child…)
Her voice echoed in my memory, soft and soothing, a warmth I no longer deserved to feel.
(Don't cry…)
I fell, my knees crashing into the snow. The cold enveloped me, dragging me deeper as if to swallow me whole.
(Momma will always be here…)
"No!" I roared, clawing at the earth beneath me. The snow soaked my thin, ragged clothes, freezing me to my bones. The cruel breath of death licked at my neck, but I refused to stop. I couldn't stop.
"Light…" The word spilled from my lips, weak and desperate. In the distance, a faint glow flickered. A building. Salvation.
I stumbled toward it, each step an agony, each breath a battle. The silhouette of the building grew larger. Hope flared in my chest, a fragile ember threatening to die.
But then I saw it.
My heart stopped.
"M-Mom?"
She hung from the window, her body barely clothed, swaying in the wind like a broken marionette. Blood stained her lifeless form, bruises painting her pale skin in a sickening display of cruelty.
"No… no, no, no!" My knees buckled, and I crumbled into the snow. "Mother!"
Her lullaby played in my mind, faint and distant, as if carried on the icy wind.
(Momma will always be there, always watching…)
Tears blurred my vision, pouring freely as I clawed at the snow, trying to reach her.
"M-mom…" I murmured, collapsing on my knees as I stared at her. I could hear the soft, sickening strain of rope pulling against her neck until it popped from her body, her hands lifeless as blood trickled down from her many wounds.
(My son…My sweet boy—)
(Don't cry for me, don't sob for your foolish mother…)
I couldn't…even if I wanted, the tears would freeze over. I can no longer feel the cold—but I could no longer feel your warmth mother. You left me behind, a foolish boy to die, did you hoped to have seen me one last time in the afterlife? Do you have so little faith in me that you thought I had passed…
Or could you not take it…the strain of your own mistakes, the price of greed, of wanting a better life.
Of wanting...to see the world…
I awoke in comforts that I've nearly forgotten, once more in the castle my bare body adorned in sheets that caressed me, a comfort after a nightmare. Though despite the warmth I had received, I couldn't help but ask the same question I asked since that day…
"Mother, why did you kill yourself— why didnt you wait for me?"
I heard a soft knocking on the door, my eyes locking on to a silhouette behind it, it was one of a man, a soldier at that. His voice familiar as it rang through my room.
"Fushiguro!" I heard Lothar on the other side, his voice as bright as ever, I can almost hear his smile—
"Yeah? I'm up, what's the matter?" I pondered.
"Lady Kieri is asking for you, I wouldn't make her wait if i were you hahaha," He roared as he walked away.
"R-right…" i murmured as though he can hear me, though, i stayed in bed a bit longer…