"You guys didn't really have to do this..." I said to my bureau friends, who had thrown a pre-engagement celebration for me.
"What do you mean? Once you get engaged, you'll technically be married, and you won't be able to enjoy parties like this anymore. You're not just getting married into any family but the royal family. That comes with responsibilities..." they replied, their eyes sparkling with excitement.
"So for tonight, drink and eat till your heart's content... we also have ladies here," one of them added with a grin.
I let out a deep sigh, knowing they meant well. "I'll drink and eat, but ladies are off-limits," I replied, trying to keep a straight face.
"Ohhh, someone's already locked down," they teased, and I couldn't help but chuckle softly.
"Okay, everyone, raise your glass and wish our dear friend here a happy married life!" they announced, and as the glasses clicked together, cheers and applause filled the air, creating a warm atmosphere that made me feel grateful for their support.
The rest of the night went well, laughter and stories flowing freely. Lee Yun had to leave earlier to take care of his sick son, and I remained at the party with the rest of the guys.
"Are you sure you will be okay on your own?" some of my friends asked as I nodded. "I'll be fine... plus home is just a few blocks away," I assured them, saying my goodbyes before leaving.
As I walked home, I reached an alley where the light kept flickering. "Okay, it's high time they fixed this," I muttered to myself, continuing down the dimly lit path. But then, an unsettling feeling washed over me, as if someone was following me. I kept hearing footsteps behind me, but every time I turned around, there was no one there.
"Am I just a little too drunk?" I questioned, shaking off the feeling and pressing on. Suddenly, everything went dark as a cloth was thrown over my face, and I was beaten to a pulp. I tried to fight back, but in my drowsy state, I was helpless.
When I finally woke up, the attackers had left, and I struggled to pick myself up. I was still groggy but managed to stand and make my way home. After a quick bath, I looked at my wounds in disbelief. They had all disappeared, which was oddly familiar by now. What lingered in my mind was the question: who the hell had orchestrated this attack? It couldn't have been just a random group; they could have stolen something, but they chose to beat me up instead.
Stepping out of the shower, I stared at my robe smeared with blood, letting out a deep sigh. The night had taken a dark turn, and I couldn't shake the feeling that this was just the beginning of something far more sinister
In the morning, I recounted everything to Lee Yun. "Are you okay?" he asked, his eyes scanning me for any signs of harm. "I'm fine... the wounds healed like last time, and it's not just the wounds; even my arm, which I was pretty sure was broken, is fine," I replied, trying to sound more confident than I felt.
"Who could have done this?" he questioned, his brow furrowing in concern. "I have no idea... well, I do have an idea, but I'm not sure," I admitted. "Personally, I'm leaning more towards your uncle," he said, and I nodded in agreement. "Me too."
"So, are you going to confront him?" he asked. "I want to, but I have no evidence... unless I try to find some. One of the guys who beat me up left this behind," I said, holding out a piece of cloth. "This mark belongs to a trade caravan that just moved into Qingzhen. If I go meet them, I'm sure I'll find out who sent them."
"Should I come with you?" he questioned. "No... I'll do this on my own," I replied, wanting to handle it myself. "Well, the last time I left you on your own, you got beaten up. I'm coming," Lee Yun insisted, and I reluctantly agreed.
We headed to the dock where the caravan had settled, asking questions and gathering information. Eventually, we were directed to a man who seemed to be the owner of the cloth. The moment he saw us, he bolted. Without thinking, we took off after him, adrenaline pumping through my veins. Thankfully, we managed to catch up to him, and as we cornered him, I felt a surge of determination.
We started firing questions at him, and just as I expected, we were getting closer to the answer. The person who orchestrated the attack was within reach, and I could feel the tension in the air as we pressed for the truth.....and as expected it was my uncle Shi ran!
*
*
I stormed toward Shi Ran's residence, my heart pounding with a mix of anger and determination. The revelation that he was behind the attack felt like a weight lifting off my shoulders, but it was quickly replaced by the fire of confrontation. I couldn't let him get away with this.
As I reached his door, I commanded to see him, and when he stepped out, that infuriating smirk was plastered on his face. "Shi Yi? What are you doing here?" he asked, feigning innocence. I scoffed, shaking my head at how low he could stoop. "You know I always knew that you would stoop as low as you can to get what you want, but for some reason, I'm always surprised when you do," I shot back, my voice steady despite the anger boiling inside me.
He dismissed me, saying, "I don't know what you're talking about, Shi Yi... now you can see yourself out. I'm busy." That was it; I couldn't hold back any longer. I threw a punch at him, fueled by all the pain and frustration he had caused me. "Stay away from me... it's a warning... next time I won't be so kind," I warned him, my voice low but fierce. I turned to leave.....
"Have a drink and calm down," Lee Yun suggested, trying to ease the tension. I sighed in frustration, feeling the weight of everything that had unfolded. "At least now we have confirmed that you really can't get hurt," he added, trying to find a silver lining in the situation.
I let out a deep sigh, acknowledging the strange reality I found myself in. "I know... I don't want to accept it, but the curse might be real... it's what's taken away my ability to feel physical pain," I explained to Lee Yun, my voice tinged with a mix of disbelief and resignation.
Lee Yun, always the practical one, asked, "So what's the plan? Can we break it?" I pondered his question, realizing the complexity of the situation. "How can I break it when I'm not even sure of how it works... for now, let's keep this to ourselves... I'll see if I can find a way," I replied, the weight of uncertainty heavy on my shoulders as I leaned back, lost in my thoughts.
*
*
I spent the next couple of days questioning different people about the possibilities of curses and their effects, but no one seemed familiar with them. This was a tricky situation I had gotten myself into. The days of my engagement were drawing nearer and nearer, and I felt the pressure mounting.
Eventually, I reached a point in this quest where I had to place the whole curse issue on hold and focus on my engagement. But it didn't take away the fact that strange things kept happening. I was plagued by nightmares that might have been caused by my constant thoughts about Moon Kyung, the wuyi witch leader.
All in all, I knew I had to get to the bottom of this, but what mattered at the moment was my engagement to Princess Ailee. I had to keep my focus on the upcoming ceremony, even as the shadows of the curse loomed over me.
"I went to that crystal gazer in Hancheng and told him about your situation... he said that he's heard of curses and that a witch can cast a spell on you, but never had he heard of a curse that gives you immortality and protects you from harm..." Lee Yun explained as I sighed, feeling the weight of the uncertainty.
"Let's leave this for now... I have a while to figure things out. For now, let's focus on the fact that I am getting engaged tomorrow," I said, finishing up as I tried on the traditional wedding attire sent to me.
"How do I look?" I added, noticing Lee Yun staring at me with a bright smile on his face.
"Dashing... like the most handsome groom in Qingzhen," he replied, his enthusiasm infectious.
"Are you scared?" he asked, his tone shifting slightly.
"To be honest, a little... I keep getting this feeling inside of me that something's about to go wrong..." I explained, the knot of anxiety tightening in my stomach.
"That's the pressure of the whole curse issue and then your engagement... nothing is going to go wrong. And even if it does, I am right here to face it with you," he said with a smile and reassurance.
"You're right... I've been the luckiest man in Qingzhen these last few months. Even with the curse starting to creep in, I still have some luck left for me," I replied, feeling a surge of confidence.
*
*
It was finally the day of the engagement, a ceremony that made the entire city of Qingzhen buzz with excitement and happiness. As I knelt in the royal family's ancestral room, I couldn't help but feel both nervous and anxious. I was asked to pay respects to the ancestors, which I did by lighting incense sticks and bowing down. After that, we moved to the hallway where the engagement was to take place.
I nervously stood at the altar, waiting for Ailee to arrive. A mixture of happiness and anxiety coursed through me. I stared back at Lee Yun, who was there for me every step of the way, providing silent support.
And as I waited, the announcer finally declared Princess Ailee's arrival. I slowly lifted my head and stared at the entrance where she walked in. Her presence lit up the whole room, and she slowly made her way to me, an infectious smile on her face that made my heart race...."Today on this lovely afternoon, we gather to celebrate the engagement of Mr. Shi Yi of the Shi residence and Her Highness Princess Ailee of Qingzhen..." The announcer's voice echoed in my ears as my heart started to pound. "With the permission of the king... and without delaying the auspicious time... may the ceremony begin..." he added. This was it... this was it, I thought to myself as I held onto Ailee's hand tightly.
"Don't be nervous," she whispered with a warm smile, trying to soothe my anxiety. The rings made their way to us, and I felt a rush of emotions.
"Do you, Mr. Shi Yi, consent to this engagement?" I was asked. Without wasting time, I replied, "YES." Then, the announcer turned to Ailee, "And do you, Princess Ailee, consent to this engagement?" She also replied with a confident "yes."
"Mr. Shi Yi, you may now put the ring on the lady's finger," I was told. Nervously, I picked up the ring and held onto her hand, feeling the weight of the moment. But just like they say, bad instincts should never be ignored because they are always right, at least to some extent.
As I placed the ring on her finger, the doors of the hallway swung open, and in walked Prince Li Yun, yelling, "This engagement can't happen!"
The atmosphere shifted dramatically, tension filling the air as all eyes turned towards him..."Prince Li Yun, if you're here to attend the engagement, then quietly find a place to sit and let the ceremony commence as planned," Gilho said firmly. As Prince Li Yun made his way to where we were, he turned and bowed to the king.
"Your Majesty, I am sorry for bursting in, but you can't let your daughter marry this man," he said confidently.
"And why is that?" the king questioned, his brow furrowing.
"He is a monster... literally," Li Yun replied, and I could feel the weight of his words hanging in the air. I glanced at my friend Lee Yun, who was staring at me with confusion, mirroring my own feelings of disbelief.
"A monster!" the king exclaimed, shock evident in his voice.
"Yes... and I can prove it right here in front of everyone," he declared, standing up and drawing his sword.
"Li Yun, I don't know what you have been drinking this afternoon, but you can't just crash my engagement and then accuse my fiancé of being a monster. If anything, you are the monster right now," Ailee said, stepping protectively in front of me.
"Ailee, Your Highness, you are being blinded by his lies. Step aside and let me show you his true colors," he insisted, his voice rising.
The royal guards, sensing the escalating tension, held their swords at the ready, prepared to intervene.
"Prince Li Yun, you should stop the charade right now," Gilho commanded, his authority clear.
But just then, a voice cut through the commotion, "He is telling the truth..." A figure walked in, and it was none other than my uncle Shi Ran.
The atmosphere grew heavier with his unexpected arrival, and I could feel the dread creeping in....As I watched my uncle walk in, I couldn't help but scoff. But what did my uncle have in common with Prince Li Yun that he would back him up? I questioned, feeling a mix of confusion and annoyance. "Right, they both hate me," I replied to myself as I watched him make his way to the king as well.
Uncle Shi Ran approached the throne with an air of authority, his gaze fixed on the king. "Your Majesty, I must speak," he said, his voice steady. The room fell silent, all eyes on him as the tension in the air thickened.
"Li Yun speaks the truth about your daughter's fiancé. There are things you do not know, secrets that could threaten the safety of the kingdom," he continued, glancing at me...." And what secrets could this be?" The king questioned. I didn't really have an idea of what's happening, but one thing was for sure... they knew something about me... something that would make Prince Li Yun refer to me as a monster. A secret... they know about the fact that my body heals fast from injuries... I thought, finally adding everything up.
"Shi Yi, it's a bit strange that you aren't speaking up amidst all the accusations. Is that your way of accepting the allegations?" Shi Ran asked.
"No, it's my way of seeing how low the both of you can stoop to drag in the mad," I said confidently, but I was, in fact, shaken up.
"So you also think that the accusations are wrong?" he probed as everyone's eyes turned to me.
"Yes," I replied, my voice steady despite the turmoil inside me.
"Then you have no problem proving they are?" he asked again.
"Yes," I replied, clenching my fists tightly.
"Okay then... let Prince Li Yun proceed with what he was going to do. Prove to everyone else and to us that you aren't a monster... or whatever," he said, and I felt my heart race at the thought of being exposed.
"Father, you can't just sit back and watch them do this," Ailee said, stepping in to protect me again.
"Yes, Your Majesty, their claims are baseless," Gilho intervened as well, his voice firm.
The room was charged with tension, and I could feel the weight of their expectations pressing down on me.
If our claims are baseless, then let's prove that they are. "Mr. Shi Yi is willing to cooperate, right?" Shi Ran asked, his tone dripping with condescension.
"Your Majesty... we don't mean to cause unrest; all we request is for Mr. Shi Yi to cooperate with us and prove if the allegations are true or not... that's it," he added, a smirk playing on his lips.
"Proceed!!" the king ordered, and I felt my heart drop. With his order, I had no way to escape this situation.
"Father, no..." Ailee yelled, panic lacing her voice.
"Your Highness, please just step aside and let us do this once and for all," Shi Ran insisted, his eyes cold.
"And who are you to carry out this investigation? You are no longer a Lord," Ailee shot back, her defiance unwavering.
"Ailee, step aside," the king commanded, his voice brooking no argument.
"But father..." she tried to plead, but he cut her off.
"Gilho, hold her back," he ordered, and I watched helplessly as they pulled her to the side.
"Prince Li Yun, continue with what you were going to do," Shi Ran said, and I stood there, my breath shaky, my heart racing.
"Hold out your arm," Prince Li Yun commanded, and I hesitated, fear gripping me.
"Why? Are you scared of revealing your true nature?" he taunted, pushing me further into a corner.
"You can't do this..." a voice pierced through the crowd as Lee Yun rushed over to where I stood.
"Step aside, Mister, or you will be contained for disrupting government affairs," Shi Ran warned, his eyes narrowing.
Lee Yun looked back at me, concern etched on his face. "Step aside," I urged him, knowing this was a battle I had to face alone. He hesitated, but then stepped back.
"Please, Lee Yun..." I whispered, and he finally complied.
"Hold out your hand, Mr. Shi Yi..." Prince Li Yun said, and I felt a wave of dread wash over me. With a deep breath, I held out my hand and closed my eyes, bracing myself for whatever was to come.
"Give me that!!" Shi Ran shouted, the cold steel of the sword pressing against my neck, sending a jolt of panic through the crowd. I could hear their gasps and cries, voices overlapping in a chaotic symphony of fear. "Shi Yi!!" Lee Yun's voice broke through the noise, sharp and urgent, as I sank to my knees, the weight of the moment crashing down on me.
"Everybody calm down... he isn't hurt," Shi Ran declared, his tone unsettlingly calm as he maintained his grip on the situation. "Remove your hand..." he ordered, and I felt the instinctive urge to cling to the spot where I imagined the blade had grazed my skin. I could feel my heart pounding in my chest, the tension palpable.
"Remove your hand!" he yelled again, yanking my grip away, and I was left feeling exposed and vulnerable. "Do you all see this... nothing... no wound, no mark, no scar... nothing. It's like I didn't even pass my blade on his neck..." His words echoed in my mind, a cruel twist of fate. I could see the bewilderment on the faces around me, the disbelief mingling with the fear.
In that moment, I realized that this was more than just a test of strength; it was a test of my very existence.
*
*
" What utter nonsense..." Ailee said as she walked over to where I was, her expression a mix of confusion and concern. "See this, your highness... this is the monster you were going to marry," Shi Ran declared, and I looked up at Ailee, desperation in my eyes.
"Ailee... Ailee..." I called out, reaching for her hand, but I noticed she took a step back, the distance between us growing. "Ailee..." I added, my voice trembling with uncertainty.
"Stand up!!" Shi Ran commanded, his voice cutting through the tension. "If anyone in this crowd can give me an explanation as to why I sliced his neck but it miraculously healed immediately, then I'll apologize... otherwise, no human can do this, which means that Mr. Shi Yi over here can only be a monster..." His words hung in the air, and I could feel the murmurs ripple through the crowd, their eyes filled with doubt and fear.
In that moment, I felt the weight of their scrutiny, the realization that my fate was hanging by a thread. How could I convince them of my humanity when even Ailee seemed hesitant to stand by me? I needed to find a way to prove that I was not the monster they believed me to be, that I was still the person they thought they knew.
"Order!!" The king commanded, and the crowd fell silent, anticipation hanging in the air. "This issue needs to be investigated further... so take guard... take Mr. Shi Yi into the inspector's office for questioning." My heart sank at his words. I glanced back at Lee Yun, who was staring at me with helplessness, then turned to Ailee, whose eyes avoided mine completely. I felt the weight of my uncle's gaze, filled with satisfaction, and the uncertainty, fear, and doubt reflected in the eyes of the crowd.
"Guards, haven't you heard the king? Take him away," Shi Ran sneered, and the guards approached, grabbing me from either side. "Be careful with him, by the way. You don't know when he will turn into a monster and cause harm to you all," he taunted, and I could feel the anger boiling inside me. I pulled away and, in a moment of rage, grabbed him by the neck.
"Shi Yi!!" Lee Yun called out, his voice a plea for restraint. I nodded at him, trying to suppress the fury that surged within me. "Why? Can't you hold your true self in for even a moment?" Shi Ran mocked, his smirk infuriating me further. I let him go, tears streaming down my face as I felt defeated.
He leaned in closer, his voice a low whisper filled with malice. "I told you not to do anything stupid, and I told you it wasn't over. But don't worry, I'll make sure to pay you a visit. I know you have lots of questions for me." I glared at him, my heart racing with a mix of anger and despair. "Guards, take him away," he commanded, and they pulled me through the crowd.
As I walked, I could feel the change in the people's eyes, the way they looked at me now—filled with fear and doubt. I was no longer just Shi Yi; I was a monster in their eyes.
*
*
As I sat in the cold and dark cell awaiting questioning, I couldn't help but recall the words of Moon Kyung when I first went to try and negotiate with her to leave with the other wuyi witches. She said to me, "Human beings are funny...when you see someone that falls outside the human laws of what you feel is human, then they are a hideous monster. Funny how you all think the world is just black and white and that if someone isn't human, then they are a monster." Right now, her words resonated deeply with my situation. I couldn't help but think that her cursing me with this so-called power was a way for her to make me feel like they did when we haunted them back then.
Suddenly, I was pulled out of my thoughts by the guards. "Hey!! Someone is here to see you," they said, and the door to my cage opened up. There walked in Shi Ran, a smug grin plastered on his face. He really was having the time of his life messing with me, and I could feel my anger bubbling up again....You must be wondering how I found out about your little situation, he said, watching as the confusion flickered across my face. "Well, after I sent those thugs to beat you up, I hoped they wouldn't kill you but rather leave you in a state where you'd be bedridden for like a year, two years, or forever. I was happy when they told me they crushed you. But then you had to show up at my house looking fine with no injuries whatsoever. I called the thugs and asked them why they lied to me, and I almost killed them. They swore they beat you up to a pulp, so I got a little confused. How did you heal so fast?"
He leaned closer, enjoying the way my expression shifted from anger to intrigue. "Then I sent someone after you, but all I got back was news of you visiting different crystal gazers and traditionalists. I wasn't curious about that, but then a thought came to mind. I actually guessed, and then decided to see if my theory was right. I colluded with some of your bureau friends and asked them to bring you to me—unconscious, of course. I know how jumpy you can be while conscious, and those 'friends' did bring you back. I don't know if you remember waking up in your bed this morning with no idea what happened yesterday, but I did that."
He paused, letting the weight of his words sink in. "I asked them to give you a little something. When you were brought to me, I first slapped you and even beat you up to avenge that punch you laid on me the last time. Then, I tested my theory out. I tried hurting you by cutting you, and to my disbelief, you actually healed right before my eyes. It was a sight to behold, watching you mend as if you were never hurt at all.....I felt the cold steel of dread wrap around my heart as he laughed, a twisted sound that echoed in the dimly lit chamber. "I confess I cut you again and again and again, and it got funnier with every cut," he said, a sickening chuckle escaping his lips. In that moment, the reality of who he was struck me like a bolt of lightning. He wasn't just a petty adversary; he was a monster, reveling in my pain and suffering.
His words dripped with malice as he continued, "I colluded with Prince Li Yun of Ayan and then crashed your engagement. Ahhh, poor you... this would have been the happiest day of your life had you just kept quiet and not messed with me." Each taunt felt like a dagger to my heart, and I could feel the walls closing in around me. I was trapped, ensnared in a web of his making, and the thought of facing death at his hands made my blood run cold. "But wait, how shall we kill you?" he mused, his laughter booming in the silence. "Tskkk Shi Yi... you're doomed."
Desperation surged within me as he turned to leave, and in a moment of instinct, I grabbed onto his leg,"What are you doing?" he questioned, feigning confusion, but I could see the amusement dancing in his eyes. "Help! Help... this monster is trying to harm me!" he yelled, his voice dripping with theatricality as the guards rushed in. My heart sank as they pulled me away, the betrayal in his eyes cutting deeper than any physical wound.
"Thank you so much for helping me out," he said, his voice smooth and condescending. "I suggest that you take him up; otherwise, he might harm one of you." He turned to me, a smirk plastered on his face, before walking out as if he had just won a game. I was left in the hands of those who would judge me.
It wasn't long before I was sat down Infront of the inspector.."Before we start... hand me the dagger," he said, and the guards complied, their movements quick and practiced. I could feel the tension in the room thickening as he held my arm out, a sinister smile creeping across his face. With a swift motion, he slit my arm, and a sharp pain shot through me, but it was nothing compared to the emotional turmoil boiling inside.
"Give me the cloth," he commanded, wiping the blood away as if it were merely an inconvenience. "It's healed... look, there is nothing," he proclaimed, and I could see the disbelief mingling with amusement in the eyes of the other guards. Their laughter echoed in my ears, a cruel reminder of my predicament. "When I was told that you could do this, I just couldn't believe it... you know, until I saw it myself," he continued with a chuckle, as if I were some kind of spectacle for their entertainment.
The weight of his words pressed down on me. "Okay then, Mr. Shi Yi... tell us what you are... or should the question be what kind of monster are you?" His tone dripped with mockery, and I felt my blood boil. "Back then, monsters had fur and fangs, claws and hideous looking faces, but these days... they can be dashing too. I mean, look at you... who could have ever imagined?" He leaned in closer, and I glared at him, refusing to give him the satisfaction of my fear. "Save us all time and tell us what you are," he insisted, and I took a deep breath, summoning my resolve. "I am not a monster," I replied firmly.
"Really? Then what are you? A fish?" he quipped, and the laughter of the room rang out, but I remained stoic. His patience was wearing thin. "You don't look like you're going to be an easy one, and I am one to easily lose my patience, so either you tell me yourself, or I torture you until you speak," he threatened, his cold gaze piercing through me.So Iam going to ask you one last time... what exactly are you?" He asked as I replied once again.."I've already told you... I am not a monster," I replied, my voice steady despite the chaos around me. His anger was palpable as he stood up and slapped me across the face, the sting igniting a fire within me. "Tie him up... upside down over a fire... we have to get an answer out of him today," he commanded, his voice cold and ruthless as he stormed out of the room.
The guards dragged me away, binding my limbs tightly, their grip unyielding as they flipped me upside down. The world around me spun, but I refused to let fear take hold. The next few days turned into an unending nightmare of torture. They beat me, cut me, and while I felt the pain of each strike, I also felt something else—an unbreakable resolve. They knew I would heal, so they inflicted wounds just to make me suffer. I was placed over a fire, the heat searing my skin, coal burning into me, and still, I held on to my truth.
Underwater, I gasped for breath, and when they starved me, my body screamed for sustenance, but my spirit remained unyielding. Each time they asked, I repeated my answer, unwavering: "I am not a monster." It was the only answer I had, the only truth that mattered. No matter how much pain they inflicted.
*
*
"Hey! Monster... you have a visitor..." a guard said, jolting me from my daze. I slowly got up, feeling dizzy and weak from hunger. "Shi Yi..." someone called out, and as I blinked to clear my vision, I saw Lee Yun.
"Shi Yi!!" he exclaimed, worry lacing his voice as he scanned my battered form. "Are you okay?" he asked, his concern palpable. "I'm sorry..." he added, his voice trembling.
"Why? You aren't the one treating me like this," I replied, trying to mask my pain. "I'm sorry I can't do anything for you... I'm sorry I'm so helpless... I'm sorry you have to endure all of this by yourself," he said, tears rolling down his cheeks.
"I'm fine... look at me... I'm fine, so don't worry about anything," I said, forcing a smile. "By the way, how did you manage to come here? I thought I wasn't allowed to have any guests?" I asked, curiosity piquing through my despair.
"I asked Princess Ailee to get permission for me to see you... I actually came with her," he replied, his voice steady but filled with concern.
"Is she outside? Did she not want to see me?" I questioned, a sense of helplessness creeping in.
"I'm sorry..." he said again, and I felt a pang in my chest.
"Why are you apologizing? I can understand her... she must be scared. You should have seen the look in her eyes after she found out... she... she was so scared... she was scared of me..." I said, tears rolling down my cheeks.
"You know the question I have been asked so many times in here for the past week... what are you...? And I had one answer the entire time... I am not a monster... I repeatedly said it. I said it so much that I started doubting it myself..."I am not a monster, but am I really a human being? What kind of human being gets cut, beaten up, burnt, and still looks like nothing happened? What kind of human being goes all these days without eating and is still alive? How am I supposed to convince them that I am a human being when I don't feel like one?I said feeling the tears welling in my eyes...my voice trembling with fear. "I am really scared, Lee Yun... I am scared that I might give in to the fact that I am no longer human... that I am a monster like they all think I am..."
Lee Yun looked at me, his eyes filled with compassion. "You are not a monster... look at me, Shi Yi, you are not a monster... it's those people that locked you up in here and tortured you that are monsters, not you... them." He said with reassurance but the weight of my reality was heavy. "I really wish I could get you out of here soon... I am going to try everything I can," he added.. determination lacing his voice.
Suddenly, the guard interrupted.. his voice harsh and unyielding. "Hey!! Time's up." I watched as he approached, and I felt my heart sink. "Here you go," Lee Yun said as he sneaked to me a bag of buns "They are still warm... make sure you eat them." He said as I nodded, "I'll visit you again," he promised, but as they escorted him out... left alone. I stared at the buns with my stomach aching, I moved to a corner where I ate them with tears streaming down my face, feeling the weight of my loneliness and despair.
*
*
*