Chapter 2
As Ailie helped me into my hospital gown, i couldn't help but rethink my mum's words.
I had a donor.
I didn't know how to feel about it. I had long believed that there would be no one to donate me a heart that now that i had one it felt like a dream.
"Ouch!" I hissed in pain as i felt something like a pin pierce into my skin.
"Sorry." Ailie apologized.
I felt her clip the collars of my gown at the back of my neck. The dress wasn't entirely my size; that's why she used pins to hold it up.
There was a knock on the door which Ailie went to answer. I walked over to the full length mirror and had a look at myself. There wasn't much to see.
A girl with mid-length black hair, a face too plain to be noticed and eyes that held nothing yet seemed to notice everything.
As i stared at my reflection something inside me stirred.
What next Raynell?
I overhead the doctors telling my parents that the surgery was fifty-fifty situation. I might and might not make it. I had to admit i did want to make it even though i didn't know what I'd do if i did.
I had long stayed on my own that if i were to make it out of that surgery room alive i didn't know what i would do with the life given to me. I didn't have anything in mind that i wanted to do. I didn't even have any friends.
At least something to consider if i survive this
My thoughts were interrupted by an exploding pain in my chest. I held my heart region and began to breathe in and out, like i was taught whenever i had such attacks.
"All this end today." Ailie said walking towards me.
I let go of my chest and straightened up, acting as if i wasn't in pain. I never liked showing that i was hurting, even now that i about to get rid of all the pain.
"Shall we?" I asked, changing the topic.
She gave me a final look before nodding. I walked past her and opened the door. Outside was my stretcher and a few nurses and orderlies waiting for me. I was searching for something yet i didn't know what it was.
"Your parents are already at the ICU." I heard Ailie say behind me.
At least they came
I climbed into the stretcher and lay down.
As i was being wheeled to the ICU, i stared up at the nurses faces above me. They probably didn't feel scared as this may not be their first surgery. Their job was pretty easy.
Assist the doctor and await the outcome.
If the surgery was successful theirs was to congratulate the patients next of kin, and if it wasn't, they apologized for the damages even if they didn't mean it. And how could they? I would just be another one of a billion patients who didn't survive a surgery.
Nothing that they weren't used to.
"Ray sweetheart." I felt my cheek being stroked. I blinked to see my dad bending over me.
"Ray!"
"Daddy!"
I saw a little girl, a younger version of myself running towards a black car. My dad was inside the car and that was why i was running towards it.
How long had it been since he called me Ray? He hadn't even looked me in the face for so long that now that i looked at him, it felt like looking at a complete stranger. I didn't know him anymore. I didn't know them anymore.
They were too busy fighting over ridiculous things that they forgot all about their only child. If i survived this i hope they would be better parents.
Mum came over and stood beside dad. I never thought I'd see them stand so closely. I guess something bad had to happen to me for them to get closer.
The bulbs on the walls shone red, signalling that it was time for the surgery.
"Raynell honey, is there anything you want after the surgery?" Mum asked me hurriedly.
I didn't have to think about it.
"No more yells." I said. "I want the house quiet when i get back."
Mum looked at dad for a brief second before looking back at me. Her eyes were brimming with tears. Dad nodded before mum said anything. Mum leant down and placed a kiss on my forehead. She was pulled away away by one of orderlies and i was wheeled into the theatre, where the decision of my survival will be decided.