Panel 1:
The scene opens with No Plot Man strolling down a busy city street, his rubber chicken resting over his shoulder like a baseball bat. He looks tired but satisfied.
Narration Box: "After surviving clowns, confetti, and a carnival of chaos, a hero deserves one thing: coffee. But for No Plot Man, even that isn't simple."
No Plot Man (thinking): "Alright, just grab a cup of joe, maybe a muffin, and no more insanity for at least an hour."
Panel 2:
*He stops in front of "Bean There, Done That," a cozy-looking café with a chalkboard sign outside that reads: "Today's special: Mocha Madness."
No Plot Man: "Madness, huh? Yeah, that tracks."
Panel 3:
Inside, the café is buzzing with customers. The barista, a cheerful young woman with neon green hair and a million-dollar smile, waves at him.
Barista: "Welcome! What'll it be?"
No Plot Man: "Large black coffee. Hold the drama."
Panel 4:
Just as the barista turns to prepare his drink, a scream erupts from the back of the café. A small explosion sends coffee beans flying everywhere.
Customer (screaming): "The espresso machine! It's alive!"
Panel 5:
No Plot Man turns to see a massive, mechanical espresso machine stomping into the main café area, steam hissing from its sides like a raging bull. Its arms are made of coffee pots, and its eyes glow with red LEDs.
No Plot Man (deadpan): "Of course it is."
Panel 6:
The machine roars, spraying scalding coffee everywhere. Patrons dive for cover behind tables.
Barista (panicking): "I told the manager we shouldn't have installed AI!"
No Plot Man: "Yeah, AI coffee? Bad idea. Also, who thought giving it arms was a good plan?"
Panel 7:
The espresso machine turns to No Plot Man, its LED eyes narrowing. It screeches, "INFERIOR HUMAN! YOU CANNOT HANDLE MY CAFFEINATED POWER!"
No Plot Man: "Oh, great. Another villain with a superiority complex. Can I at least finish my coffee first?"
Panel 8:
The espresso machine lunges, swinging one of its coffee pot arms like a club. No Plot Man dodges, narrowly avoiding a face full of steaming java.
No Plot Man (yelling): "Hey! That's no way to treat a customer!"
Panel 9:
No Plot Man grabs a bag of coffee beans off the counter and flings it at the machine's face. The bag bursts, scattering beans everywhere.
No Plot Man: "How's that for a grind?"
Panel 10:
The espresso machine staggers back, momentarily blinded by the coffee beans. No Plot Man takes the opportunity to grab his rubber chicken and charge forward.
Narration Box: "When all else fails, bring out the big guns."
Panel 11:
He swings the rubber chicken, slamming it against the machine's control panel. Sparks fly, and the machine shrieks in pain.
Espresso Machine: "ERROR! SYSTEM OVERLOAD!"
No Plot Man: "Yeah, that's what you get for messing with caffeine addicts!"
Panel 12:
The espresso machine collapses in a heap of steaming metal. The café patrons cheer, cautiously emerging from their hiding spots.
Barista (amazed): "You saved us! How can we ever repay you?"
No Plot Man (grinning): "I'll settle for that coffee. And maybe a free refill."
Panel 13:
The barista hands him a freshly brewed cup of coffee, her hands still shaking. No Plot Man takes a sip and sighs with contentment.
No Plot Man: "Now this is hero fuel."
Panel 14:
Outside the café, No Plot Man walks away with his coffee in hand, the rubber chicken slung over his shoulder. In the background, the café staff sweeps up the remains of the rogue espresso machine.
Narration Box: "Another day, another disaster. But for No Plot Man, it's all just part of the grind."
Panel 15 (final panel):
In a dark alley across the street, a shadowy figure watches him, holding a clipboard and muttering into a headset.
Mysterious Figure: "He's stronger than we anticipated. Begin phase two."
To Be Continued…