Kade sat at the table in the middle of the archive, staring down at the ancient books in front of him. The runes etched on their covers glowed faintly, as if daring him to open them. The scroll sat to the side, rolled up tightly with a black ribbon that looked suspiciously like it might bite.
"Alright, ancient evil books. Let's see what secrets you've got for me. Preferably something that doesn't explode in my face."
He hesitated, then reached for the first book. The leather cover was cold to the touch, sending a shiver down his spine as he opened it. The pages were filled with strange symbols, none of which he understood.
"Of course. Evil runes. Why would anything here be written in plain Common? That'd be too easy."
He squinted at the symbols, trying to make sense of them, but the text refused to cooperate. Every time he thought he recognized a pattern, the letters seemed to shift, mocking him.
"Okay, step one: figure out how to read evil villain handwriting. Step two: hope it doesn't curse me in the process."
Frustrated, he pushed the book aside and reached for the scroll. The ribbon untied itself as soon as he touched it, unraveling with an unsettling hiss.
"Cool. It's self-aware. That's not creepy at all."
He unrolled the scroll carefully, half-expecting it to explode. Instead, it revealed a map marked with glowing red points, each one connected by thin, jagged lines. He leaned closer, realizing the points were labeled with names.
"Wait a second. This looks like… locations? Are these where the heroes are?"
The more he studied the map, the clearer it became. Each glowing point seemed to represent a position within the castle grounds. One point pulsed brighter than the others, marked with a name he couldn't quite decipher.
"Is this… their leader? Or just someone who really likes glowing dots?"
Kade leaned back, trying to make sense of the information. He wasn't a tactician, and he definitely wasn't a military genius. But if this map was accurate, it might give him a way to avoid the heroes entirely or at least buy himself some time.
'Master Kaedus.'
The voice startled him, and he nearly knocked the scroll off the table. He turned to see the hooded figure standing in the shadows again, their head bowed.
'Apologies for disturbing you, my lord, but your commanders await your presence in the war chamber.'
Kade froze, panic rising in his chest.
'Uh, right. Of course. The war chamber.'
The figure tilted their head.
'Shall I escort you, my lord?'
'No,'
Kade said quickly.
'I'll… find my way. You're dismissed.'
The figure bowed and disappeared into the shadows once more. Kade slumped in his chair, burying his face in his hands.
"War chamber? They actually expect me to have a plan? I can barely read this map, let alone command an army!"
He glanced at the scroll again, the glowing points taunting him.
"Alright, think, Kade. You're an actor. You've faked your way out of worse… okay, maybe not worse, but still."
He rolled up the scroll and tucked it into his coat, leaving the books untouched. They were no help to him now, and he had no intention of getting stuck trying to decipher runes while his supposed army waited for orders.
As he left the archive, the halls seemed even darker and more foreboding than before. The crimson glow of the sconces cast long, flickering shadows that danced across the stone walls. His footsteps echoed loudly, each step a reminder of how utterly unprepared he was.
When he reached the war chamber, the heavy doors opened before him as if on cue. Inside, the three commanders stood waiting, their expressions unreadable. The armored woman, the cloaked mage, and the hulking demon all turned to face him, bowing deeply as he entered.
'Master Kaedus,'
the woman said, her voice sharp and formal.
'We have gathered intelligence on the invaders. We await your strategy.'
Kade forced himself to walk to the head of the table, his heart pounding. He spread the scroll across the surface, pretending to study it intently.
'Their positions are… interesting,'
he said slowly, stalling for time.
The cloaked mage leaned closer, his bony fingers twitching.
'Do you intend to ambush them, my lord? Or shall we draw them into a trap?'
The hulking demon rumbled with laughter.
'Why waste time with tricks? Let me crush them outright. It will be over in moments.'
The woman frowned, crossing her arms.
'A direct assault is reckless. We should focus on dividing their forces and eliminating them piece by piece.'
Kade's head swiveled between them, his mind scrambling to keep up.
"Divide their forces? Ambush? Sure, let me just pull a genius plan out of thin air while I'm at it."
He straightened, trying to look confident.
'Divide them,'
he said firmly.
'If we weaken their numbers, it will… create an advantage. Yes. Focus on isolating their leader. Report back to me when you have progress.'
The three commanders exchanged glances, then bowed.
'As you command, my lord,'
the woman said.
They turned to leave, their footsteps fading as they exited the chamber. Kade collapsed into the nearest chair, his hands shaking.
"How long can I keep this up before they figure me out? I'm not a Dark Lord, I'm a guy who once got cast as 'Tree #3' in a school play."
He stared at the map, the glowing points taunting him with their unanswered questions.
"I need to figure this out. Fast."