"If I would have the chance to be the protagonist of a story, I would like to introduce myself as a unique girl who eats while running to school because I'm late or maybe the girl who is in rivalry with the campus prince over something irrelevant.
But I can never be that girl, nor I've never been that girl. I never experienced having a rival, I never experienced being late to school while eating on the way and I never experienced anyone confessing to me in any form or in any place.
Maybe I was the npc or the background character that was mentioned in passing.
Did it bother me? Nah. To be honest, it's nice to have small group of friends, to talk weird things, to go to arcade, to eat---"
I think I needed to focus because this is the shittiest diary ass slam book I've ever made. What I wanted is to introduce my daily life living in a world of chaos and hunger but now it looks like I'm writing a slice of life story intro of a girl I NEVER WAS.
hhmm...
Now that I think about it, it's kinda me but not me cause I'm lamer than that. I let out a frustrated breath cause I am very frustrated right now. I have been writing and ripping pages since yesterday and now another page had been ripped cause I suck at this.
What did I even want to do? What was I made for?
Then my dark humored personality answered-- To be a zombie's food.
And now my mood is in disorder. I stood up and peeked outside my bedroom window and lo and behold, my neighbors are the zombies now and they have no sense of shame cause some have their shits out and no one is laughing or reminding them.
If I would still have my sanity after I turn, I would carry a chainsaw and cut em dicks and boobs off. Welp now I'm thinking of having a chainsaw taped to my hands, but I think a serrated knife would do, if there is the scissor guy then I'm the knife girl.
Maybe I should tape one now while I still can move and think as I want, I might not have time to do shits I want later.
With a goal in mind and an inspiration of anger, I wrote my heartfelt death note of the year.
"My name is Alurea, and my last name is not needed because I don't want any relatives who I don't know to find me miserable and no college diploma, I mean I have pride even if I turn into a brain eating zombie. I am the zombie girl who is wearing her prized Lolita outfit with serrated knifes taped on her hands because I don't wanna die ugly and with no dignity like my neighbors. I am a 28-year-old virgin and no boyfriend since birth, I never finished college, and I am a slave of capitalism and my introvertedness (is there a word like that). For whatever food you may find, they are the fruits of my labor and overtime. If you killed me, please lie me down on my bed with my phone in my hands.
P.S that bastard delivery boy in front of my door is the one who bit me, that shitty guy didn't took a day off even knowing he's feeling sick."