THE CALM BEFORE THE STORM.
There are five people on the board. Symthers who is in charge of cyber security, Perreault who is in charge of physical security, Mirchandani who is in charge of Administration, Bergmann who is in charge of finances and Apollonio who is in charge of everyone and the only woman on the board.
I sat with my hands in my lap smiling at the board
'Good morning' I said and they all nodded or mumbled something in vague response to my greeting
'Well Genevieve it's nice to see you' said Perreault 'but let's get straight into it, we're very busy people and we have numerous other things to attend to' the other board members nodded in agreement
'What was the emergency pick up for?' Bergmann asked, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose. I drew a deep breath to steady myself and prevent myself from starting my sentence with something stupid.
'I had some difficulties with an alleged DSS official and had to remove myself from the situation immediately' I said, picking my words carefully. They had all sat up, leaning forward with perked ears and renewed interest. Although these calls happened rarely, when they did they had a tendency to be for mundane issues; a false sighting, a false entry, skirmishes with the police, difficulties with seizures. Very rarely, unless In planned circumstances, did we have run ins with bigger government agencies, those types of things were planned very thoroughly.
'What were you doing and how did you end up with a DSS official?' It was Smythers this time, the light from above reflecting off his polished head
'I…I'd been with said DSS' partner and it escalated into a night together, he found my SSIC ID and handcuffed me but I managed an escape.'
MIrchandani looked at me through squinted eyes, his smooth brown skin taking on a greyish tinge from the blue-white lighting. I thought it ironic that his luscious mane of thick hair should be seated next to Smythers and his shiny egg head
'So let me get this straight' Mirchandani began 'and correct me if I'm wrong, you were in a threesome with a DSS officer who then found your ID and then tied you up?'
'Handcuffed…yes sir'
Mirchandani leaned back into his chair laughing 'you can't make this stuff up, that's crazy'
Apollonio rhythmically tapped her fingers on the table, looking at me but not looking
'The DSS official in question, alleged or not, is currently deceased yes?'
'no ma'am' I croaked, twiddling my thumbs and staring at the crest over head. Apollonio slammed her fists on the table, forcing my eyes to meet her face
'Do you have any idea what risks your promiscuity could put us into?' She asked, speaking slowly as she rose from the chair and glared at me
'Do you know what this is going to cost us if they find out? Our entire mission in this city is hinged on infiltrating their HQ!'
I stayed in my chair, eyes downcast not daring to speak to her
'What do you have to say for yourself!' She snapped. I cleared my throat and kept my eyes downward
'I'm aware what my carelessness could have cost us and I know that SSIC goes the extra mile to provide a network of potential partners that are safe so I have no excuse' I looked up and saw Apollonio's left eye twitching lightly as I spoke. I started to push my words out so I could say everything before I got dragged out of the office
'But something good came out of it, I finally secured a safe way to get the into their base and map out a route to get what we need and get out, undetected.'
Apollonio narrowed her eyes at me saying nothing but I knew I had both hers and the boards attention
'The DSS official in question is actually a rouge. He's from a different federal agency sent to uncover some things going on in the city's chapter of the DSS. He's an entry level but I think he can be quite useful to the mission here'
'Government agencies rivalry?? I love it' Mirchandani says rubbing his hands together in glee.
I gave a brief rundown on how it we could make it work and they all agree that it's a good plan but needs some aggressive fine tuning. Mine was the last for the day so the board disperses to go to their various offices, men and women in suits waiting at the door to take their files and brief them on their agendas for the rest of the day.
'Chardavoinè, my office, now!' Apollonio spat before walking out of the board room.
'Esta loco??!!' Aunt Graciela screamed at me once seated in her office. She had sent her assistant off on a bogus errand so she could scream and chastise me to her hearts content.
'Are you crazy??' She asked again in Spanish 'you could have been killed! Or…Or worse!'
I wanted to say something smart like 'what's worse that being killed?' But held myself back after seeing the look on her face, I lowered my face and mumbled 'sorry aunty Grachi'
She let out a stifled breath and shook her head at me
'Do you understand how serious this mission is to us? Because sometimes I feel like this is just an exciting game for you'
I stared at her slightly annoyed, one mistake hadn't spun me off my orbit. We were both on this mission together and for the same reasons, for her to allude to the fact that I thought it was a joke cut me deep, she thought I was inefficient.
'Of course I understand what's on the line here' I said 'I made one mistake and I apologize but my mistake has created a loophole, we're closer now than we were last week'
'Do you know how wrong this could have gone? One wrong encounter and you'd be dead!'she returned
'Well it didn't go wrong, the DSS don't even know that SSIC exists, how can they fight us if they don't even know we're here?'
'That is not an excuse! We have all these precautionary measures available to keep everyone safe, there are rules and you know it!'
'Oh well I'm sorry that we don't all get to fuck Mirchandani and his glorious bod, sorry that all the fucks you guys make available are disgusting and sorry that some of us want to sleep with people that we at least find attractive!'
'How dare you!' She roared
'How dare I what? How dare I bring to attention your some of the harsh realities that SSIC employees face?'
'Not having someone cute to fuck isn't a hardship!'
'Easy for you to say, you're fucking Mirchandani' I replied with a smirk
Aunt Graciela stared at me bewildered, before shaking her head and trudging towards her desk. Seated behind the imposing mahogany desk she peered at me through her gold rimmed glasses before muttering
'You're so ungrateful'
'So were you..' I replied dryly before feebly throwing my hands up 'I guess it runs in the family'
Aunt Graciela stared at me with a blank expression, she blinked and aunt Graciela was gone, a stony faced Chief Apollonio taking her place as she reverted back to English.
'Get out of my office Chardavoinè' she said curtly.
I stood silently and walked out of the office without uttering another word.
I sunk my nails into Jules' shoulder and released a string of expletives as I impaled myself harshly on his dick. His solid meat filling out and stretching me in every direction. I closed my eyes and allowed myself to be carried away with bliss, every thrust as our bodies met sent electric shocks all over my body. I watched numb with pleasure as I was flipped onto my back and Jules took control, my fingers wandering to my hardened nub and rubbing as his thrusts grew frantic. My toes began to curl into each other as I felt the first wave of orgasm wash over me, my body shuddered as wave after wave drowned me, Jules' hot cum splashing against my inner walls and pushing me into another round of orgasms and knocking the sight and sound out of me.
I felt Jules' tounge licking between my slit and clit. Everytime his tounge touched my clit I felt pleasure bordering on pain. This was one of his little rituals after sex and I didn't wish to interfere but I was too sensitive and the pleasure had given way to a sharp sensation everytime his tongue came into contact with my bundle of nerves.
'Jules…Jules' I breathed, rasping 'take it easy down there'
Jules came up from my crotch and lay his head on my stomach, wrapping his arms around my waist and started to sing
'Never wanna leave this room, day dream deja vu, if I had control over you, We would stay like this forever lost in wonderland with our head above the clouds falling stupid like we're kids wearing rose colored lenses let's just play pretend….pretend we'll never end'
I laughed
'You know Miley Cyrus broke up with that guy right?'
'We'll be the exception' he smiled.
I shook my head at him, Jules was really sweet guy.
After my standoff with aunt Graciela I took the ferry straight to the island and subsequently Jules' house. I had a lot of steam to blow off from our encounter and after doing extensive background searches on Jules I knew he was squeaky clean. In addition to running the bakery with his mother and Tito (when he wasn't inebriated), Jules was an artist. He worked with oil and paint mediums but was Popular for his sculptures, some of which were on display at the city's museum of art. I'd effectively found my go-to dick. Jules was a little confused about I and Mason's sudden cold shoulder towards each other in the bedroom, considering that on that first night at Misty's when we both went to their hotel we'd been so all over each other, Jules had even fallen back to watch us at some point in time.
Now, when we saw each other we acted polite enough and made conversation but we were hands off with each other. Jules was the more free spirited of the pair so he just assumed that Mason had gotten cold feet and was figuring out how to navigate a three way relationship.
Relationship. Jules kept calling this little tryst that although I'd never agreed to anything. I decided to let him be. He was way over his head being in bisexual heaven, he had a smoking hot guy and a sexy woman, he must have gone into a biPanic all the times Mason and I had stood next to each other. I decided to leave him to swirl in his lavender haze with his rose colored lenses still on.
Jules unwrapped himself from me and stretched.
'Are you hungry?' He asked.
I shook my head. I was going to have dinner with Cherry. She had seen me storming out after leaving my aunts office and tried to calm me down, I agreed to have dinner with her later and tell her what happened. Jules went downstairs butt naked and returned with a thick slice of chocolate cake and mousse, the same type I'd eaten that night at the bakery. Jules shoved a large chunk of the cake into his mouth and made a noisy display of chewing.
'This is deliciousness' he said
'You know your mom gave me a free slice of this cake at the bakery, I think she might like me'
Jules blew a raspberry
'Nah..we just give left over chocolate cake and mousse away at the end of the day, no matter what we try it soaks up the other flavors in the freezer or the taste of the freezer itself'
I clutched my chest in mock exasperation
'So she wasn't picking me out as her choice??'
'Definitely not'
The door swung open and Mason stood there looking between us, first at me on the bed, then at Jules sitting on the desk.
'Hi babe' Jules said 'Gen came over'
Mason walked over to Jules and planted a kiss on his cheek
'Yes I can see that' he replied 'hello' he said to me.
I waved at him and brought my lips together to form what I hoped looked like a smile.
'Hi' I said.
Mason looked around the room and I followed his gaze, staring anew at the mess we'd made. Our clothes strewn across the floor, Jules stiff paintbrush had dried on the floor living a stain on the carpet that would probably never come out, Some papers on the desk had been pushed to the floor.
'You two were certainly...occupied'
Jules laughed
'Yeah no shit, do you want some cake?'
Mason took off his shoes, work clothes and put away his satchel before accepting a slice from Jules, he wedged himself between Jules legs and Jules wrapped his arms across his shoulders. They chatted about their day and sitting there as the sunlight filtered through the window and highlighted all the small particles of dust in the air, casting golden glitter on the two men wrapped in each other's arms during golden hour. I felt a bit like an intruder, they were both tender with each other, tucking away strands of hair and wiping mousse off the sides of each other's mouths. I felt a little sad knowing that I might never have what they did, a meeting of minds and bodies, I'd nailed the body part down pretty nicely but the prospect of opening up, truly opening up, seemed impossible. I wonder what private conversations they'd had about me, in this room, on this bed, they'd made decisions on how to go about whatever this thing we were doing was. I looked around the room plotting my most peaceful getaway route when my phone rang, cutting through the atmosphere of the room and snatching the lovers momentary tranquil away. I swiped across the screen to accept Cherry's call.
I wanted Cherry and I to meet up at Misty's but she vehemently refused.
'Hell no' she hissed over the phone 'I am not getting dressed up to go to Misty's'
'Then don't dress fancy' I offered 'just casual dinner'
'The food at Misty's isn't even that nice! Everyone just goes there for drinks' she countered
'So maybe we'll have a few drinks then'
'Nuh uhn Genevieve, I see you trying to get us drunk so you don have to talk about it, no! I'm booking a reservation see you at eight'
She hung up after that so I had no choice but to return to my apartment and get ready.
After tossing half of the dresses I own out of my closet, I finally found a dress that I liked. A simple midnight blue dress with a plunging cowl neckline and an open back. I sleeked my hair back into a bun and dabbled on some light make up. Cherry had ordered me a Lyft to spare me the indignity of showing up to dinner with my motorcycle, but of course she had meant to spare her the indignity of sharing a table with the lady who rode down there on a motorcycle.
Cherry had picked a table tucked into a corner of the restaurant
'Thank god' I muttered to myself as I took my seat across her.
'You look cute' Cherry said
'Likewise' I purred.
A waiter came over to our table and we placed our orders.
'So…Aunty chief was in a really bad mood after you left' she began, sipping from a glass of water and leaving a crescent of lipstick on the rim of her glass.
'Nothing new about that' I humphed 'that bitch is always angry about something no?'
'Genevieve….' Cherry pressed with an imploring tone.
I sighed and relayed a rough version of events to her, ending with my aunt calling me selfish
'Can you believe…..the nerve on that woman, to call me, ME! Selfish!'
Cherry nodded understandingly
'I mean, I've been nothing but selfless. I put my whole life on the shelf and joined SSIC, I could have stayed on my beautiful beach in Spain and I would have been miserable but nobody would judge me for staying back'
'She is the selfish one, running off to do god knows what and throw her life away. She broke my grandparents heart, she broke my moms heart and she didn't care shit about anyone but herself!. They followed her from city to city from coast to coast begging her to come home but she spat in all their faces and ran off with that rich guy. And all for what? money that he didn't let her touch? Gold and silver and diamonds that he only let her wear when they had public events to be snatched off her neck and wrists the moment the got in the car? Only after he'd smacked her babies out of her did she come crawling back and even then she said she'd keep the last name because it gave her 'security' '
I scoffed and slouched against my chair suddenly feeling very tired. A wave of exhaustion washed over me, leaving my last ounces of strength to be picked apart by seagulls on the shore. Graciela reserved no right to call me ungrateful, she could sell a masterclass on how to be ungrateful
How to be ungrateful: a narcissists guide to being selfish and delusional 24/7!
I was young when my aunt ran off but I could tell she and Gianna were extremely close. Her elopement caused a great strain within my maternal family and although I was just four when she left, I could tell that something was wrong. My mother cried a lot and screamed at Jean-Carlo a lot, of course my father had nothing to do with Graciela running away but he took a lot of the hits. My aunt was young and she had decided that the little life we were living in our beautiful sleepy town would not be good enough for her and off she went, on a five yearlong trail that inevitably brought her back to my grandparents doorstep. Everyone was so grateful she came back that nobody questioned her or shunned her, she was neatly folded into the open arms of the family and life went on.
Gianna and Graciela shared a strong resemblance. The bright green eyes, the full lower lip, the little dent on their septum. The biggest difference was where Graciela had raven black hair, my mothers was a chestnut brown. Seeing my aunt today had knocked the wind out of me in a way. When she turned away from me and she tilted her head ever so slightly she looked just like my mom, my beautiful beautiful mommy.
'Aren't you going to eat?' Cherry asked me
I hadn't noticed the waiter setting food down, I sighed and picked up a fork, stabbing at the salad on my plate. I had been hungry when I came in but my appetite deserted me now, going down memory lane always left me depleted and wanting to drown in a glass of neat scotch and crawl under my covers.
'Gen…' Cherrys voice came, quiet and conciliatory 'I know this is all incredibly hard for you and you have been so brave and strong and you've been through so much. I can't even begin to imagine if….' She lets her self trail off and stretches across the table to hold my hand
'What I'm trying to say, is that you've got to give the chief a little grace. I know it's not what you want to hear but you've got to understand that you're all the chiefs got'
I nodded knowing what she was saying was true but also knowing it would take my heart many years to reconcile with the fact. I would always blame her in a way, for everything.
I moved conversation away from myself and asked Cherry what the latest was with her, I asked about the new guy she was dating (no, she didn't find him in SSIC's stupid database ) and she told me it was getting pretty serious, they had moved in together over the weekend. I kept the conversation going so Cherry wouldn't notice that I was just moving my food around my plate and not eating any of it.
After dinner we left the restaurant together and Cherry boyfriend came to pick her up. I looked him over and smiled, he looked good enough. Cherry insisted on waiting with me until my Lyft came, I waved her and her boyfriend goodbye and got in the car. She pulled me into an embrace, her large brown eyes staring at me kindly
'Good night Gen'
'Night mon Cherie'
Once safely shielded from the world in the back of the car, I allowed myself to slouch and feel the rawness in my chest that I worked to fervently to ignore, I allowed myself to be drowned in it, soaking up every corner and crevice of my body, it was too late to fight it off.
Once in my apartment, I grabbed a bottle of scotch and crawled into my bed fully clothed. Tomorrow I had to go in and fine tune the details of our DSS infiltration with Symthers and Perreault but for now, for tonight, I could loose myself in my alcohol and let it numb all my senses. The worse thing that could happen to me was already happening, the thing my therapists had advised I do as the first step to help me come to terms with my new reality
Feel something.