I suspected Raymond's feelings for me, but I never realized it was love. His confession caught me off guard, but I brushed it aside, asking him to drive me home. The atmosphere in the car was thick with awkwardness, but I could tell it took a lot of courage for him to admit how he felt, especially knowing it would put him in a vulnerable position. He wanted to continue the conversation when we got home, but I shut him down and walked inside without a word.
I was on a call but stepped outside for some fresh air. That's when I saw him face down in the pool. Panic surged through me as I thought he'd drowned, but when I got closer, I realized he was just floating, seemingly lost in thought. I stood there, frustrated, feeling both angry and relieved.
"Raymond, what on earth are you doing in the pool at this time of night? You're not thinking of killing yourself in my house, are you?" I asked, trying to keep my voice steady despite the fear still thrumming in my chest.
"I'm fine," he replied quietly. "I was just... confused. I didn't know what to think after you left me like that."
The words hit me harder than I expected. But I pushed them aside. "We leave for Asia tomorrow for the project. You should go to bed now. We're traveling early. Good night."
He gave me one last look, shaking his head slowly, and walked away without saying another word. His expression was sad, but I couldn't wrap my mind around the fact that Raymond had fallen for me. I hadn't given him any signals. I wasn't ready to deal with it. So, I buried myself in books for the rest of the night.
The next morning, Raymond's dark circles told me everything I needed to know, he hadn't slept at all. We exchanged a few words, and he quickly went about his work, packing my bags for the trip. When we landed in China, he was different, serious, and professional. He had transformed overnight. It was impressive.
I couldn't help but ask, "Raymond, are you okay? You're acting different... more serious than usual."
He didn't answer directly but instead focused intently on the schedule. For the first time, I saw him truly excel at his role. He even excused himself when I met with the architect to discuss plans for the new hospital, acting in a way I had never seen before. I liked it. It was one of the reasons I'd hired him in the first place.
But then, things took another unexpected turn. Due to a mix-up with the hotel, Raymond and I had to share a room. "Madam, you can go ahead and sleep. I'll sleep outside," he offered.
I couldn't let him sleep outside, so I told him to come inside or else neither of us would get any rest. As the night went on, I noticed he was sweating heavily in his sleep shaking with chills. I couldn't just ignore it, so I helped him with a towel. But as I touched his skin, I realized how cold he was, and without thinking, I cuddled him, hoping to warm him up and make him feel better.
When I woke up the next morning, I realized I was still in his bed. Panicked, I carefully slipped out to avoid waking him. I went to the bathroom to wash up, and when I came out, he was gone. I tried to change quickly, but as I was about to change, he walked in.
"What the hell, Raymond! Get out!" I yelled.
He rushed out of the room, and I knew then that he had seen everything. There was no point in asking what he saw. As I opened the door, he stood there, looking apologetic.
"I'm so sorry, Madam. I didn't mean to,"
His voice was full of remorse, and for the first time, I saw him as someone different. It was like he had crossed a line, and in doing so, he had lost the friendship we once had.
I could feel the shift in our relationship as he became more formal and more distant. We didn't speak unless it was about work. Whatever happened during the night, it had changed things. On the flight back home, I decided to have a conversation with him before things went further down this road.
"Raymond, are you asleep?" I asked quietly.
"No, Madam," he replied, his voice steady.
"Sit up. I want to talk to you."
I gathered my thoughts before continuing, "You're important to me, more than I can say in words. But I don't feel the same way about you. I care for you, but only like a brother. I don't want this to change our relationship."
He was quiet for a long time, and then finally spoke. "I understand, Madam. I should've realized sooner that I'm just a secretary. I was being delusional. I know that now."
His words stung, but there was nothing more to say. I let the silence fill the space between us for the rest of the flight.
When we got home, there was a surprise waiting for me, a stranger at the door. I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw her. Bela, my oldest friend, whom I hadn't seen in over a decade, was standing there. In an instant, I ran up to her, enveloping her in a tight hug, unable to contain my excitement.
But Raymond seemed to be the one she was most interested in. Her gaze lingered on him as she asked, "Who's that handsome guy who just brought in your bags?"
I laughed nervously and tried to divert her attention. "That's Raymond, my secretary. But what's with the interest? Are you acting like you're married now?"
She laughed off my comment, "I'm divorced now. And I'm free to explore… especially the doctors at the hospital."
I could sense that she saw her marriage as a burden, but I was curious about her life. I asked about her kids, but before I could get much out of her, Raymond came in and asked if he could turn in for the night. Just as he left, Bela turned to me.
"I've had a long trip. Come massage me, Raymond."
I quickly shot her down, telling her to go to a spa. I couldn't risk any more awkwardness with Raymond. I sent him away on a small errand to pick up some clothes, hoping it would lift his spirits, but when he returned, he refused everything I bought. The friend I once knew seemed to be slipping further away.
That evening, Bela and I prepared supper, and I asked Raymond to join us. As I went upstairs to change, I left them to set the table. When I came back down, the house was eerily quiet. I called out for Bela but got no response.
I walked into the dining room to find the shocking scene of Bela, on top of Raymond, on the floor.