"Hermione Granger!"
The Sorting was proceeding in alphabetical order, and it was finally at "G."
Hermione practically ran up to the stool, eagerly jamming the hat down over her head.
"Gryffindor!" the hat announced.
Hermione looked surprised, clearly having expected to be placed in Ravenclaw.
Next up was Neville Longbottom. The Sorting Hat paused a long while before finally declaring, "Gryffindor."
"Harry Potter!"
At the sound of that name, the entire hall fell silent, followed by a buzzing murmur that spread across the tables.
"Potter? Did she say Potter?"
"Is it that Harry Potter?"
The fabled Boy Who Lived was here at Hogwarts.
Harry's Sorting took a long while, too, but he was finally placed in Gryffindor as well.
"Why so many Gryffindors?" Bruce muttered curiously.
Kathoom replied, "It's just coincidence. The people you happen to know all got sorted there. It's no big deal—you're worth three of them on your own."
This wasn't even an exaggeration. Together, the "Golden Trio" just about equaled one Bruce.
Harry was an orphan, and so was Bruce.
Hermione was an academic overachiever, and so was Bruce.
As for Ron—well, Weasley and Wayne did have a certain ring to it.
"Bruce Wayne!"
Finally, it was Bruce's turn.
"Remember what I said—head to Hufflepuff!" Kathoom reminded him as he watched Bruce head toward the stool.
"Hmm—" A small voice murmured in Bruce's ear as the hat settled on his head, "You're an unusual one, aren't you? I can see many of the houses reflected in you.
"You have Gryffindor's bravery for justice, Hufflepuff's loyalty to those close to you, Ravenclaw's thirst for knowledge, and Slytherin's drive to prove yourself. So, where to put you?"
This...was unexpected.
Bruce realized that the Sorting Hat's conclusion about him was the opposite of Kathoom's. Kathoom had said that no house suited him, yet the hat saw qualities of all four.
"I want to go to Hufflepuff," Bruce whispered.
The hat's voice gave a slight chuckle. "Hufflepuff? Ah, that's not a bad choice, but you could make your mark in a much larger arena, don't you think?"
So, you really could negotiate? Bruce realized that, despite his usual nonsense, Kathoom had actually managed to arrange something with the Sorting Hat!
"I've made up my mind—Hufflepuff."
"Very well. I'll respect your choice."
And then, in a loud voice, the hat called, "Hufflepuff!"
The Hufflepuff table broke into cheers, welcoming their new housemate.
Across the hall, Hermione looked oddly relieved. Finally, she wouldn't have to live in Bruce's shadow.
As Bruce stepped down from the stool, he noticed Kathoom giving him a sly wink.
See? My influence counts for something, right?
Bruce gave him a small, approving nod. Good work, he had to admit.
---
When all the students had been sorted, Professor McGonagall rolled up her scroll and carried the Sorting Hat away.
At the staff table, Albus Dumbledore rose to his feet.
"Welcome!" he said. "Welcome to a new school year at Hogwarts! Before we begin the feast, I would like to say a few words.
"And here they are: Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak!"
"Thank you very much!" The hall exploded into applause, students and teachers alike somehow in perfect agreement with the headmaster's unique remarks.
Amid the applause, the empty tables suddenly filled with countless mouthwatering dishes, enough to make anyone's appetite rise.
Bruce, sticking to his regimen, ate only a modest amount, setting his utensils aside once he'd finished his pre-planned portions.
Kathoom, on the other hand, was devouring his way down the table.
"Food not to your taste?" a boy sitting next to Bruce asked, noticing his restraint.
He was a tall, handsome upperclassman with pale skin that almost gave him a vampire-like appearance.
"I'm Cedric Diggory, third year," the boy introduced himself.
At that name, Kathoom abruptly stopped mid-chew, tapping Bruce urgently on the shoulder. "Quick, shake his hand! Do it now—I need to see the two Batmen together!"
Two Batmen?
Bruce had no idea what on earth Kathoom was talking about this time.
Kathoom explained, "It's complicated. Just trust me when I say there's a universe where Batman and Cedric look identical."
Bruce introduced himself to Cedric but refused to play along with Kathoom's bizarre little fantasy.
"Is that your owl?" Cedric asked, watching Kathoom with interest. "You two seem pretty close—always together."
Close? Hardly! Bruce thought, though he gave the prepared response he and Kathoom had agreed upon.
"I have...a bit of an anxiety disorder," Bruce said. "I feel better if my pet's around."
As he said this, Bruce internally cursed Kathoom a thousand times. Couldn't he have come up with a less embarrassing reason?
"Ah, I see," Cedric nodded with sympathy in his eyes. "Not to worry—Hufflepuff is like one big family. We've got all sorts here; bringing a pet along isn't a big deal."
Bruce nodded in agreement. He knew this was exactly why he'd chosen Hufflepuff.
---
Meanwhile, up at the staff table, the professors were enjoying their meal.
Severus Snape, Potions Master, sat beside Quirinus Quirrell, the Defense Against the Dark Arts professor, who in turn was next to Professor McGonagall and Headmaster Dumbledore.
As she cut her meat, Professor McGonagall turned to Dumbledore.
"Headmaster, have you been keeping up with the Daily Prophet?" she asked.
Dumbledore dabbed his mouth with a napkin. "You mean that 'Outcast Alliance' business?"
"Yes, their activities are getting bolder," McGonagall said. "They nearly leveled Godric's Hollow last week."
"I heard about that," Snape drawled in his distinctive slow tone. "I believe Remus Lupin joined them. Birds of a feather, as they say. A league of outcasts—naturally, they'd welcome a werewolf."
"A werewolf!" Quirrell shrieked, nearly fainting at the mere mention.
"Let's not be too hasty, Severus," Dumbledore interjected. "I trust Remus. If he joined them, he must have had a reason."
"Of course he had a reason." Snape's voice held a note of scorn. "I haven't paid much attention to Lupin, but I'd wager he's been living in poverty. Joining a gang of thieves isn't all that surprising."
Dumbledore fell silent. It was a bit too soon to write off the Outcast Alliance as common thieves.
They had first appeared a few months ago, appearing and disappearing with little trace, frequently raiding magical sites, as though searching for something.
Dumbledore couldn't shake a deep feeling of unease.
He couldn't help but suspect that whatever they sought was far more dangerous than anyone yet realized.
Perhaps, he thought, it was time to reach out to Lupin.
---
T/N: Two batmans!