Eldric watched from his perch in the tree, smirking as he saw the troll lumbering toward its cave. A crude, tree-branch club hung over one massive shoulder, and in the other hand, a few rope-bound villagers dangled like a sack of carrots. They looked more annoyed than frightened, muttering and wriggling as if they were merely caught in an unfortunate inconvenience.
'Ah, classic local farmers,' Eldric thought, hiding a grin. 'Probably more bothered about missing supper than about being captured.'
Carefully, he slid down from the tree, landing in a crouch before straightening up and adjusting his robes. The forest around him was quiet, save for the crunch of the troll's massive feet, which left shallow craters in the soft, mossy ground. As he moved, the troll stopped, its nose twitching as it sniffed the air. Its beady little eyes narrowed suspiciously in Eldric's direction.
"Grunt...grunt...old...man…" the troll muttered, tilting its head like a curious dog. It squinted harder, as if Eldric's wrinkles held the answer to life's mysteries. "What...old man...want?"
Eldric paused, amused by the troll's lumbering attempt at language. He raised a hand in a casual wave. "Hey there, big fella. Name's Eldric. I'm here on official guild business because, well, you've become quite the local celebrity." He gave a mock bow. "So, can we handle things peacefully, or do I need to...you know...make things uncomfortable?"
The troll scratched its head, its face screwing up as it processed the words. After a painfully long pause, it jabbed a thumb into its own chest. "Wuwu...no bad!" it protested, voice rumbling like rocks grinding together. "Humans...they make fun of Wuwu. Wuwu just want them scared. Not hurt! Wuwu keep them here...so they learn respect!"
Eldric pressed his fingers to his lips, trying not to laugh. "Ah, I see. So, this is...what, troll school? You're giving them a little lesson in respect?"
The troll, Wuwu, straightened up, looking slightly offended and crossing his massive arms over his chest in a pout. "Wuwu teach them not laugh at Wuwu! Humans mean to Wuwu. Wuwu teach them lesson!"
Eldric's lip twitched as he fought back a grin. 'A sensitive troll…now I've seen everything.'
"Well, I can tell they've learned their lesson." He nodded thoughtfully. "But here's the thing, Wuwu—you've gotta let them go. Otherwise, the guild won't be too happy with you holding night classes."
Wuwu's lower lip started to tremble. "Humans...hurt Wuwu's feelings. Call Wuwu ugly."
Eldric winced, feigning sympathy. "Oof. Harsh words. Alright, how about we make a deal?" He took a dramatic step forward, raising his hand with an air of mystery. "You let them go, and I won't have to cast my secret spell on you."
Wuwu's eyes widened, fear blooming on his face as he backed up a step. "What...spell?"
With a mischievous grin, Eldric lowered his voice. "Oh, just a little something I call...INSTANT BRAZILIAN WAX!"
Wuwu looked horrified, scratching his fur-covered arms as if he could feel it happening already. "What...what wax? Wuwu...Wuwu don't want!"
Eldric gave him a sympathetic nod. "No one does. You'd be as smooth as a baby otter, my friend. Not a single hair left. Think of it as...extreme grooming."
The troll shuddered, his hands flying up to cover the dense fur on his head. "No...no take Wuwu's fur! Wuwu...Wuwu let humans go! No need...no need wax!"
"Smart move, Wuwu," Eldric said with a wink. "You've made a wise choice." He gestured at the villagers. "Now, kindly release the humans, yeah? Let's call it a win for everyone."
With a reluctant grumble, Wuwu set the bewildered villagers down as gently as he could. They stumbled to their feet, staring up at the troll with a mixture of pity, relief, and confusion, as if they were still processing what had just happened.
Eldric gave Wuwu a little salute. "Good work, Wuwu. And hey, next time, maybe just scare them with a roar or something. Keep the lessons short and sweet, you know?"
Wuwu scratched his head, a toothy, childlike smile breaking across his face. "Okay...no more human time-out. Bye-bye, old man!"
"Bye-bye, Wuwu." Eldric chuckled to himself as he turned, following the villagers back to the village. 'First mission, and I'm already debating hair removal with a troll. Can't wait to see what's next.'
---
Back at the village, Eldric found himself face-to-face with the village elder, a frail, wiry man whose expression was a mixture of disbelief and bewilderment. The only word that managed to escape the village elder's lips in disbelief was.
"...Say what?"
Eldric haven to repeat for the umpteenth time just sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Look, I handled it. No more troll problems. People are safe. I get my stamp. And you—you get to enjoy a troll-free existence. Deal?"
The elder's eyes darted around, as if hoping for some reasonable explanation. After a long, awkward pause, he gave a shaky nod, still staring at Eldric as though he were some kind of forest spirit.
"Mr. Adventurer, please forgive our elder." A young man stepped forward, hands raised in a gesture of apology. "We'll gladly give you the stamp. Just, uh...show us the mission slip, please."
The young man, obviously understanding the elder's shock, didn't want to do anything that might irritate Eldric further. Tales of Diamond-ranked adventurers crushing mountains with their bare hands were the stuff of legend, and here stood this wizard, who'd taken down a troll without breaking a sweat.
Eldric handed over the slip, watching the elder press the stamp down with a shaky hand. The stamp made a crisp thud, and Eldric pocketed it with a nod before turning to leave.
The villagers called out thanks and blessings, but he waved them off, already thinking about the next mission. 'Nice folks. But applause doesn't pay the bills.'
---
Eldric strolled into the guild hall, a few curious eyes turning his way. Some lingered, sizing him up, while others ignored him. The walls of the guild were lined with posters, wanted notices, and the familiar hum of adventurers exchanging stories, complaints, and laughter. He made his way over to the reception desk, where a young woman looked up, an eyebrow arching.
"Mr. Greymane! Back so soon?" She smirked, clearly entertained. "Was the mission difficult?"
He glanced at her badge—Asusa, it read—and gave her a lazy grin. "Not in the slightest, lass. Got anything more...challenging?"
Asusa blinked, momentarily caught off guard. Most rookies struggled with their first missions, if they didn't outright fail them. Eldric, though, had wrapped his up in record time. She leaned forward, smirking.
"Alright, Mr. Tough Guy. Let's see if you're up for something with a bit more bite." She slid a new mission slip across the counter. "There's a colony of slimes out there, wreaking havoc on the local farms. Eating through crops, messing up the soil. The farmers are practically tearing their hair out. Think you can handle a slimy situation?"
Eldric grinned, a glint of excitement in his eyes. "Bring it on."