What's the point of desiring something you know you'll never have? Why bother chasing after things that will slip through your fingers the moment you get close? It's all just a game of pretend. Everyone else is out there running after dreams, acting like there's something worth getting. They want love, success, fame, some version of happiness they've convinced themselves is just out of reach. It's always just around the corner. And they'll keep running, keep struggling, keep trying. They'll keep hoping, even though they know they'll never get what they want. The beauty of it is that they keep running, despite knowing the finish line is always just an illusion. That's what keeps them going. And honestly, that's fine. It's what works for them. Whatever floats one's boat. If chasing all that gives them purpose, if it gives them something to hold onto in this mess of a world, let them have it.
I've learned that life isn't a race to win, though. It's more of an absurd joke. A waiting game, a series of pointless distractions, with no real meaning at the end of it. You're born, you live, you die. And in between? You get distracted. You get busy with everything that doesn't matter, so that you don't have to face the crushing weight of everything that does. So, yeah, maybe the ones who are out there chasing things are onto something. They've got their distractions, and that's what keeps them going. They fill their lives with all the things they don't need, because thinking about what they really want, what they really need, is too uncomfortable. The truth is too ugly, so they go after the shiny stuff instead. And somehow, that works for them.
Me? I don't want to chase. Chasing things is tiring. What's the point? What's the use of running towards something that I know won't fill the hole? People can go on chasing their dreams, trying to find happiness in places where it doesn't exist. But I know better than that. Happiness isn't some end goal. It's just another illusion, another thing to grasp at that'll only slip through your fingers. That's fine, too. If you find meaning in that, good for you.
The thing is, I'm not trying to die. Not yet, anyway. If death happens, fine. I'll accept it when it comes naturally. But I won't rush it. I want peace, sure, but not through dying. Not yet. I'll settle for the kind of peace that comes with not expecting too much, not desiring too much. It's easier that way. No chasing after things I'll never get, no waiting for some imaginary happiness. I'm perfectly fine with my emptiness. And in that emptiness, there's this strange, quiet peace.
People think emptiness is a bad thing. They try to fill it with things, with people, with all the noise of life. But here's the thing: the emptiness isn't something to fear. It's just space. The space where all the unnecessary things fall away. The space where you can finally breathe. And in that space, there's clarity. No more pretending. No more striving for things that don't matter. It's just you, in the middle of everything, quietly observing the mess around you.
And sure, maybe that emptiness feels like a void sometimes. Like it's pulling at you, dragging you down. But it's only as heavy as you make it. You get to decide. You can either let it swallow you, or you can accept it for what it is: nothing.
I've accepted that. I've learned that I don't need anything to make me feel fulfilled. I don't need a partner to complete me. I don't need success to validate me. I don't need anything. Because in the end, none of it matters. We all come from nothing, and we'll all return to nothing. So why waste energy chasing things that won't last? It's easier to just sit back and let the world spin.
Sure, there are moments when it feels like life could have been different, like maybe there's something more to it. But those moments are fleeting. The truth always comes back: it's all meaningless. And that's okay. Because in that meaninglessness, there's freedom. Freedom to just live, without the weight of expectation, without the need to chase something that will never make you whole.
And I've found peace in that. In the stillness. In the quiet acceptance that life doesn't need to be anything more than it is. It's all okay. The struggle, the pain, the joy, the emptiness. It's all part of the same cycle. You live, you breathe, you move through it all. You keep going. And in the end, you die. And that's okay too. Because nothing lasts forever. Not the pain, not the happiness. It all fades away in time. And in the quiet, when everything fades, there's a peace that doesn't need to be explained.
I want peace, but I don't need to die to find it. I'll take the peace that comes from knowing the truth: none of it matters. And that's not a depressing thought, it's a freeing one. Because when you stop trying to hold on to things that don't matter, you're finally free to just be.
So, I'll keep going. I'll keep moving through life, accepting it for what it is. No dreams, no hopes, no grand expectations. Just a quiet acceptance that what happens, happens. And when it all ends, it ends. But until then, I'll keep living. For no reason at all.
And here's the thing: wanting everything is okay. Wanting nothing is okay. Wanting peace, or wanting chaos—both are fine. There's no right or wrong way to navigate this life. Some will chase, some will run, some will rest. And guess what? It's all okay. Every single bit of it. There's no right or wrong way to be. It's simply a choice. You can want everything, or you can want nothing. You can live for the moment, or live for the long haul. You can dream, or you can just exist. And none of it makes you more or less. It simply makes you, you. And that's enough. You don't need to confirm to society's patterns. You don't need to chase after someone else's idea of happiness or fulfillment. If you're content with your emptiness, then that is peace. If you're content with your desires, even if they seem impossible or endless, then that is peace too.
Life doesn't have to be complicated. You don't have to have it all figured out. It's okay to not know what's next, it's okay to not have any grand aspirations. You can just be. And if that's all you ever become, then that's enough. So breathe easy. Take comfort in the fact that nothing is expected of you. And most importantly, don't let anyone make you feel like you're failing because you're not following their version of success or happiness. You define your own journey. You are the exception to every rule.
Because, in the end, nothing really matters. And that's the most liberating thing you'll ever realize. The pressure is gone. The weight is off your shoulders. And all that's left is you, the freedom to be as you are, however you are. Whether you want to chase the wind or just sit still and wait for the dust to settle, it's all okay. Everything is okay. All of it.
Life doesn't require you to fit into some grand pattern. It doesn't need you to confirm to anyone's expectations. You are allowed to simply be. And that is peace. Because the only pattern you need to follow is your own. It's your life. Live it as it comes. Whatever floats your boat.