The crackling campfire painted flickering shadows across the tree trunks, its warmth barely cutting through the cold night. Kaiser sat across from me, his relaxed posture betraying the playful glint in his eyes. He leaned forward slightly, resting his chin on his hand.
"So," he began, his tone casual but teasing, "what kind of name do you want for yourself?"
I hesitated, staring into the flames. "I… I don't know." It was the truth. Life had never given me the luxury of choosing anything for myself. Fear and despair had dictated every step of my existence for years.
Kaiser tilted his head, pretending to be shocked. "A princess without a name? That's tragic."
I blinked at him, caught off guard by his humor, and retorted without thinking, "And you're just a washed-up knight."
His grin widened, almost devilishly. "Well, I guess that's one way to see me." He laughed softly, the sound almost comforting. "Alright then, what did others call you before? Surely someone gave you a name."
The question made me pause. A faint memory stirred at the edge of my mind, tugging at emotions I wasn't sure I wanted to feel. "My friends… they used to call me Stella." I glanced at him, feeling a twinge of warmth and sadness. "They said it was because I reminded them of a star—something that shines in the darkest nights."
Kaiser snorted, his laughter bursting out before he could stop it. "Stella? That's… that's a terrible name!"
My face burned with indignation. "What's so funny about it?" I shot back, my voice rising with mock anger, though the corners of my lips betrayed a hint of a smile.
Kaiser only laughed harder, holding his stomach as if the sheer absurdity of my reaction had doubled his amusement.
I leaned closer, narrowing my eyes. "Answer me!" I demanded, my tone insistent but playful, though I couldn't stop my cheeks from heating up further.
"Nothing, really!" he said between chuckles, holding up his hands defensively. "It's just so bland. I didn't expect you to say something so ordinary."
I clenched my fists, glaring at him. "Stop laughing, you idiot!"
Kaiser held his sides, finally calming down. "Alright, alright. I'll stop. But seriously, Stella?" He smirked, as if daring me to argue more.
I crossed my arms, huffing. "Well, at least it's better than calling someone a washed-up knight."
"Touché," he said with a wink.
Kaiser leaned back, watching me curiously. His tone softened, but his eyes stayed sharp, probing. "So, Stella—do you even remember their faces? The ones who called you that?"
The question hit like a stone in my heart, unexpected and heavy. I hesitated, my breath catching as memories stirred painfully in the back of my mind. Four years. It had been four long, relentless years since I'd last seen them. Time had dulled some edges, but not all. My heart tensed, guilt and longing entwining. Did I still remember?
I forced myself to nod, even as a shadow of doubt crept into my mind. "Of course I do," I replied, though my voice wavered slightly. My fingers fidgeted with the edge of my sleeve, a nervous habit I couldn't shake.
Their faces were still there—soft smiles, warm eyes, fleeting expressions frozen in moments of love and comfort. But sometimes, the details blurred, and I hated myself for it. What if one day, I forgot entirely? What if all I had left were feelings without faces?
"Name them," he challenged, leaning forward with a mischievous glint in his eyes. "Go on."
I clenched my jaw, glaring at him. What a dirty trick, I thought angrily. He knows I'm struggling, and he's testing me just to mess with me. Who even does that?
He probably thought he was so clever, setting me up to fail like this. I'll show him, I fumed.
"You want names? I'll give you names! And maybe I'll even throw in the names of those seven people who chased you through the desert while I'm at it!"
But my hesitation must have been obvious, and that smug look in his eyes only grew. "Oh really!" Kaiser leaned back with a wide grin, clearly enjoying himself.
"Let's see you name them all, then!"
Great. Just great. I walked right into his stupid little trap.
My throat went dry as I searched my memory, the weight of his challenge settling heavily on me. It had been so long… but their names were there, faint and fragile, etched in the corners of my mind. Still, when I opened my mouth to speak, the words wouldn't come. My voice caught in my throat, betraying the confidence I tried to muster.
Kaiser leaned closer, his eyes glinting with mock curiosity, a playful smirk tugging at his lips. "Don't tell me you forgot," he teased, drawing out the words. "C'mon, I'm waiting for the grand excuse. You should always have one, shouldn't you?"
"Stop that!" I snapped, but his teasing smile only grew.
My throat tightened, and I hesitated. The names were on the tip of my tongue, yet something held me back. Could I still say them after all this time? Did they even matter anymore?
But then, images flooded my mind—familiar faces, precious moments. Mira, always laughing, her energy infectious. Toby, with his endless curiosity, dragging us into mischief. Elise, who calmed us down when things went too far. Ronan, with his daring ideas that always seemed just crazy enough to work. Fiona, sharp-tongued but fiercely loyal. And Kiel, the quiet one who held us all together when it mattered most.
I thought about that day, the day we promised each other the world. Sitting under that old oak tree, dreaming of endless adventures and swearing never to leave one another behind. It had felt so real back then, like nothing could tear us apart.
But where were they now? My heart pained as doubts crept in. If they cared, why didn't they come for me? Did they forget me? Did they… hate me now? The thought stabbed at me, and I clenched my fists tightly.
No, stop! I scolded myself, shaking the dark thoughts away. They loved me. I know they did, and I love them just as much. That's all that matters.
Taking a shaky breath, I pushed through the storm of emotions.
Finally, I blurted out, "Mira, Toby, Elise, Ronan, Fiona, and Kiel." The names spilled from my lips like a secret I hadn't realized I was still keeping. I didn't even know I still remembered them, but saying them aloud made it feel like they were still with me, like I hadn't lost them completely.
Kaiser leaned back, clapping his hands in exaggerated applause.
"Bravo, Stella! Truly an astounding performance. Six names in—what, ten minutes? You've shattered the record for the world's fasted roll call."
I glared at him, confused. "I wasn't—"
"Oh, don't deny it!" he cut in with a dramatic wave of his hand. "I could've gone on a quest, slain a dragon, and made it back in time to hear the last name. That's some dedication, Stella."
Rolling my eyes, I muttered, "You're so impossible to speak to."
"Impossible, but undeniably entertaining," he shot back with a cheeky grin. His gaze lingered on me, teasing but curious.
"So, Stella, who was your favorite among them? Don't tell me you liked them all equally."
I felt my face grow warm, his casual use of "Stella" catching me off guard. It had been years since anyone had called me something so kind. For the past four years, I'd only been a monster in the eyes of others. The name stirred something in me, a pang of bittersweet nostalgia.
Snapping back, I stammered, "I… I cared for all of them. They were my best friends."
"Oh, come on!" he groaned, throwing his hands up. "I knew you'd say that. But let's be honest here. There's always one, one person who you like just a little more. Spill it, Stella."
"I… umm…" I could only stutter, my voice catching as memories swirled in my mind.
Each of them came to life in my thoughts. Mira's infectious laugh and how she'd always pulled me into her crazy ideas. Toby's endless curiosity, how he'd insisted on showing me every rock and bug he found, even if it annoyed me at the time. Elise, who would sit with me quietly when I felt upset, her presence like a soothing balm. Ronan, always the first to stand up for me when others doubted me, his daring grin lighting up any challenge. Fiona, sharp-tongued but fiercely protective, never letting anyone talk down to me without dishing out a scathing remark in return.
And then there was Kiel.
I paused, my heart tensing as a particular memory surfaced. Kiel had always been the quiet one, the one who rarely spoke unless he had something important to say. But I remembered one day vividly.
I had tripped while running through the fields, my knees scraped and tears threatening to fall. Everyone else had laughed, not in malice, but thinking I'd laugh too. But Kiel… Kiel had been the only one who knelt down beside me, offering a handkerchief to wipe away the dirt and a soft, reassuring smile.
"Don't cry, Stella," he had said, his voice steady and kind. "It's okay to fall, but it's even better to get back up. I'll help you."
That moment stayed with me, a spark of warmth I clung to through my darkest days. Even now, it filled my heart with a love that felt pure and unshakeable.
"See?" Kaiser's voice broke through my reverie. "You've gone all quiet. That means you do have a favorite!"
I snapped back, cheeks burning. "I-I didn't say that!"
"Oh, but you're thinking it!" he teased, leaning closer, his smirk growing. "C'mon, Stella. You can't hide from me."
I turned away, hoping he wouldn't see the telltale blush creeping up my cheeks. Some memories were too precious to share, even with someone like him.
I hesitated, my voice barely above a whisper. "Kiel. I cared for Kiel the most."
Kaiser's eyes widened, a mischievous glint flashing in his gaze. He leaned back, a playful smirk tugging at his lips.
"Woah, Stella! I didn't know tonight was going to include some romantic past stories! You've got me hooked now. I'll feel lonely after this ends."
I blinked at him, flustered. "It's not like that!" I protested, my face turning red.
"Oh, sure, sure," he said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "I'm sure. So, why Kiel? What made him so special?"
My heart pounded, and I struggled to form a response. "You have to promise not to tell anyone."
Kaiser raised an eyebrow, his grin never faltering. "Fine, fine, I won't share your romantic tales with anyone. Cross my heart."
I shot him a glare. "It's not romantic!"
"Of course," he replied, still grinning. "Go on, then. Tell me your story."
I took a deep breath before starting. "It happened a long time ago, when we were kids. I think I was around nine, and Kiel was eleven. We were really close back then, though he was a quiet type. Whenever he spoke, everyone would listen. And that day... well, it was Toby and Ronan's idea to go adventuring into the forest."
I paused, recalling the details. "I didn't want to go. I was scared of the forest, of the monsters that might be lurking. But Kiel… he didn't want us to go either. He told us it was dangerous, but he followed anyway. He wanted to make sure we were safe. He always did that."
Kaiser's expression softened, clearly sensing the seriousness in my tone. "So, what happened?"
"We got lost," I continued. "I don't even know how it happened, but we were wandering through the trees, trying to find our way out. And then… I fell into the river." I paused, trying to gather my thoughts. "The current was strong, and before I knew it, I was being pulled toward the waterfall."
Kaiser's teasing grin faltered slightly as he leaned forward, his eyes glinting with mischief. "So the princess was blinded by her love for Kiel and fell into the river, huh? What did he do then? Just jump in after you like the perfect knight in shining armor?" He raised an eyebrow, clearly enjoying the story, but there was a hint of genuine curiosity beneath his teasing tone.
I scowled, unable to help the faint smile that tugged at my lips. "It wasn't like that!" I protested, but the weight of the memory weighed on me. "Kiel didn't hesitate. He jumped right in after me, without even thinking. He swam to me and pulled me out of the current, but… we were both dragged toward the waterfall."
Kaiser's face shifted slightly, his earlier sarcasm giving way to something more thoughtful. "He risked his life for you," he said, his voice quieter now.
I nodded, the memory still vivid. "Yeah, he did. We both fell over the waterfall. We were hurt, and it was getting dark. But Kiel… he didn't leave me. He built a small fire, kept watch over me all night, and told me everything would be okay."
Kaiser leaned in, clearly intrigued now. "What did he say?"
I swallowed hard, the memory as vivid as if it had happened yesterday. "He said… 'Stella, I care about you. You're really important to me.'"
The words had felt heavy then, more than just a simple reassurance. I could still see his face, serious and unwavering, as if those words were the most important thing he could say to me.
Back then, my hair was brown, my eyes the same soft shade, ordinary and unremarkable—or so I'd always thought. But Kiel… Kiel had black hair and deep, shadowy eyes, eyes that seemed to hold a quiet intensity. In that moment, as he looked at me, I could feel the care behind them, unspoken but undeniable. It was subtle, yet it had stayed with me all this time.
Kaiser paused, clearly intrigued by the shift in tone. "Care about you, huh? That's a bit more than just 'friends,' don't you think?"
I frowned, trying to push away the lingering warmth that spread through my chest.
"We were just kids, Kaiser. It wasn't like that." I quickly added, "I didn't understand it back then."
Kaiser chuckled, clearly not buying it. "Sure, sure. But sounds like little Kiel had it bad for you, Stella. Couldn't even keep his feelings to himself."
I rolled my eyes, but inside, I couldn't help the mix of fondness and bittersweetness that filled me.
"But you understand now," he teased. "Kiel wanted to marry you, didn't he?"
"Stop it!" I shouted, my face burning with embarrassment.
Kaiser laughed, leaning back with a grin. "Fine, fine. But I'm telling you, that guy's a failed lover for losing you."
I shook my head, exasperated, but smiling. "You're so annoying to speak to!"
After a brief pause, I continued. "Later, when we were walking back to the village, I couldn't really walk. I was still hurt, and Kiel… he carried me. On the way, he asked me how I felt about the others. I told him I cared for all of them. And Kiel… he said, 'That's what I love about you, Stella. You care for all of us. It makes me happy to see you happy with them.'"
Kaiser raised an eyebrow, clearly amused. "He was a hopeless romantic too, huh? Too bad for him, though. He's a failed lover for losing you."
I rolled my eyes, trying to hide my grin. "Stop joking around."
Then, in a quieter voice, I added, "There was one more thing. Kiel once asked me if he could be my knight."
Kaiser's eyes lit up, clearly interested. "Your knight? And what did you say?"
"I didn't really know what it meant at the time," I explained. "But he looked so serious when he asked. So I smiled and said yes."
Kaiser burst out laughing. "So, Kiel indirectly proposed to you, and you accepted?"
I blinked, confused. "What do you mean?"
"Oh, you know," he said, still grinning. "People like him, the ones who want to be your knight, are just looking for a way to be closer to you. Maybe he was already thinking about marriage, huh? Knights only offer their service to one person, right?"
I still didn't understand. "I don't know what you mean."
Kaiser shook his head, laughing. "It's better if you don't know."
I pressed him, my curiosity getting the best of me. "What's so funny about it?"
Kaiser smirked, leaning back. "Personally, I think he wanted you to be his bride. Maybe he liked you so much, he wanted to marry you."
I felt my face flush again, imagining Kiel and me. The thought of it made my heart race, and a flurry of thoughts and feelings flooded my mind. Was that really what Kiel had meant? Had he cared about me that much?
Kaiser's smirk grew wider as he watched my reaction. "See? You're thinking about it now, aren't you? Don't deny it."
I couldn't speak for a moment, my thoughts a whirlwind. "I… I don't know what to think…"
Kaiser chuckled, clearly enjoying my flustered reaction. "Trust me, Stella. Kiel wanted you. Too bad he never had the guts to say it straight out."
I took a deep breath, trying to calm my racing heart. "Stop it, Kaiser. You're making it worse."
Kaiser laughed louder, but there was a warmth in his tone that softened the teasing. "I'm just saying, he missed out. Big time."
I shook my head, exasperated but smiling. "You're insufferable."
"Maybe. But you're smiling, so I must be doing something right," he said, his grin softening.
For a moment, I forgot the weight of the past, the darkness that loomed over me. Talking to Kaiser, even if he drove me mad, made the night a little less cold. It felt strange. Almost like the world wasn't as heavy anymore.
"Anyway," Kaiser continued, breaking my reverie, "If all of your friends used to call you Stella, then what about Lia?"
The smile and warmth I had felt were slowly disappearing, a chill creeping back in as his words hit like a cold wind. I could feel the name 'Lia' tightening in my chest, knotting up memories that I didn't want to revisit. It was the name my sister had given me. She was everything to me, my rock, my guide. But now... now I couldn't even remember what had happened to her after we left the village. Everything was hazy, blurry, like I was trying to grasp a fog that slipped right through my fingers.
I unconsciously touched the back of my head, fingers trailing over my hair. It felt like a small gesture to comfort myself, but the ache inside me was still there, pulling at me.
I forced a smile. "Lia... was a name given to me by my sister."
Kaiser blinked, his teasing expression faltering for a moment. "Wow, I didn't know the princess had a sister even. You looked too lonely to even have one."
His words hung in the air, and I couldn't help but stare at him. Did he actually notice that I was saddened by hearing the word "Lia"? Was he trying to cheer me up with these goofy moments and jokes? I wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry, but I couldn't help but think... he had a kind heart, even if he hid it behind all this teasing.
I raised an eyebrow, pushing back. "Of course I have a sister. She's... she's a lot more than anyone else has ever been to me."
Kaiser tilted his head, a smirk playing at the corner of his lips. "Well, Lia sounds way more fascinating and fitting for you than a bland name like 'Stella.' What do you think?"
I hesitated, thoughts swirling. "I don't really know," I admitted. "I have a lot of memories with both names, but... Lia, it brings back more emotional ones. It's..." My voice wavered, almost like I couldn't trust myself to finish that thought.
Kaiser looked at me with narrowed eyes, his grin fading. "You like Lia more, right? You miss your sister, and you're lonely because of it."
I blinked, caught off guard by his sudden insight. "How did you know that?" I asked quietly.
Kaiser shrugged, a bit too nonchalantly. "I saw it in your eyes. Every time I called you Stella, your face brightened with happy memories, but those weren't really... genuine, you know? When I called you Lia, I saw a real smile. It wasn't forced."
I froze, processing his words. Was he really trying to test me this whole time? Watching me to see how I reacted to each name? Maybe all his teasing had a deeper purpose than just to get under my skin.
I sighed and gave him a reluctant nod. "Yeah, you're right. I... I liked Lia more. I guess that's the truth."
Kaiser clapped his hands together, a sudden burst of confidence lighting up his eyes. "Well, that settles it then!" He looked at me as though he had just won some great victory. "We've got a base for your new name! Now we just need to make it even better!"
I stared at him, bewildered. "Wait, what? You're serious?"
He nodded, his expression full of determination. "Of course I'm serious. I'm an expert at giving names, you know?"
I couldn't hold back a laugh, shaking my head. "An expert? Seriously? You're a grand monster slayer, an expert explorer, and now a namer? What's next, are you going to add 'professional comedian' to your resume?"
Kaiser grinned, tapping his chin thoughtfully. "Well, that's actually a good idea. But first, you'll see my genius at work. Watch and learn, princess."
I burst into laughter, covering my mouth with one hand, trying to hide my grin, but I was practically shaking with amusement. Kaiser's confidence was ridiculous, but somehow, it made the whole situation feel lighter.
Kaiser leaned in, his face growing serious, his eyes studying me like he was about to deliver some grand revelation.
"Okay, someone with beautiful snowy white hair, soft skin, and strikingly beautiful red eyes. I think I've got it."
Before I could ask what, he meant, he glanced up dramatically and called out to the air, "Leave some of the ladies for us too, Kiel!"
I froze, my face heating up instantly. My heart raced, and I couldn't help but fluster away from him, desperately looking anywhere but at Kaiser. Did he just...?
My hand instinctively reached up to cover my face as my breath quickened. Kaiser's grin widened, and I could feel the tension between us building.
"U-ummm," I stammered, my voice trembling with the heat of the moment. "Could you... could you give me some space? I-I'm not used to people being this close..."
But instead of stepping back, Kaiser moved even closer, and before I realized it, I found myself backed up against a tree, trapped with nowhere to go. His face was so close to mine now, and he was only getting closer.
What is he trying to do?
Wait... did he get jealous about Kiel? Is he using my weakness to take advantage of me? The thought hit me like a sudden wave, and my pulse quickened in response. Was this his way of making a move, seeing my vulnerability and deciding to act on it?
I tried to raise my hand to push him away, but before I could do anything, he grabbed my wrist in one swift motion, pinning it against the tree. I gasped in surprise, unable to move as he pushed me further into the bark, ensuring I couldn't escape. What is happening?
His eyes softened just slightly, but there was still that mischievous glint in them. "Just wait," he said, his voice calm and almost too steady. "Trust me."
In that moment, my mind was in turmoil. Was he really about to kiss me? The thought alone sent a strange feeling rushing through me. And for some reason, even though I should have felt more confused or scared, I didn't. Instead, I felt something else... almost like a strange pull toward him. I didn't feel sadness about it, nor did I feel rejected. In fact, part of me... wanted to accept it.
My heart pounded harder. No, this can't be happening. Why am I feeling this way?
I squeezed my eyes shut, my heart pounding in my ears. "F-Fine," I whispered, unsure of what was happening but feeling helpless under his gaze. My body was shaking, but I couldn't pull away. He was about to kiss me.