Chereads / "Laughs in Progress: A Collection of Chaotic Comedy" / Chapter 7 - Chapter 7: The Great Chicken Nugget Heist

Chapter 7 - Chapter 7: The Great Chicken Nugget Heist

It was the first day of summer break, and Joey had already broken his promise to not eat fast food for a month. His "self-control" lasted exactly two days, and now, in the middle of the day, he found himself face-to-face with a massive order of chicken nuggets.

The mission? To devour them before anyone else could lay their hands on them.

Joey had his reasons. His older brother, Kyle, was famous for "accidentally" eating all the good food in the house. It wasn't an accident anymore, though. Joey had been planning his revenge for weeks. It was time to strike.

"Where are they?" Joey muttered to himself as he peeked into the fridge. The chicken nuggets were supposed to be here—right there—next to the leftover spaghetti. But all he found was... spinach dip.

"Why is there spinach dip?!" he shouted, his voice echoing through the kitchen like a battle cry. "Who even eats spinach dip?"

Suddenly, he heard the creak of footsteps behind him. It was his mom, holding a basket of laundry and a look of mild confusion. "What's going on in here? Why are you yelling about spinach dip?"

Joey's eyes widened. "Mom! Have you seen the chicken nuggets?"

Mom blinked, completely unphased. "Your dad and Kyle finished them last night."

"No! They were mine! They were MY chicken nuggets!" Joey's voice cracked like a heartbroken teenager on a dramatic soap opera. He was devastated. "I've been planning this for days!"

"Joey, don't be so dramatic," she said, dropping the laundry basket onto the counter. "It's just food."

"JUST FOOD?!" Joey cried. "Mom, those were my last chance to finally get a meal before Kyle eats everything. You don't understand!"

"Well, now you understand how I feel when Kyle eats the last piece of pie," his mom said calmly, walking out of the kitchen. "It's just pie, Joey. Just like it's just chicken nuggets."

But Joey was not ready to let go. He had plans.

---

The next morning, Joey had a new plan. This time, he wasn't going to ask anyone. No, he wasn't just going to sit around waiting for the nuggets to mysteriously disappear again. He was going to be sneaky. He was going to be the ninja of chicken nugget retrieval.

Joey marched into the kitchen with the stealth of a secret agent. He opened the fridge door slowly, checking for any sign of movement. When no one was looking, he reached into the freezer—there they were: glorious, golden nuggets, frozen like little delicious bricks of hope.

He pulled out the bag like it was a priceless artifact. It was time. He was going to make his escape.

But just as he was about to shut the freezer door, he heard it.

"What's that?"

Joey froze. He slowly turned around to see his brother Kyle, leaning casually against the kitchen doorway, a grin creeping across his face. "Whatcha got there, buddy?"

Joey's heart raced. "Nothing! I... I wasn't looking for anything. Just... getting some ice cream."

Kyle's grin widened. "Uh-huh, just getting ice cream at 8:00 in the morning? You sure?"

Joey backed up a few steps, the frozen nuggets still in his hand. "I—uh—I... I wasn't going to eat them! I was just... checking to see if they were, you know, good enough for you!"

Kyle raised an eyebrow. "Really? Because last time I checked, you did say that frozen food is 'not worth your time.'" He stepped closer, practically sniffing the air like a bloodhound. "And is that... chicken nugget scent I smell?"

"No!" Joey exclaimed too quickly. "It's... just... um, frozen... pizza!" He shoved the nuggets behind his back, attempting to look casual about the fact that he was holding frozen nuggets like a treasure chest.

Kyle stared at him for a solid ten seconds, then let out a loud, victorious laugh. "Oh, you're so busted."

Joey groaned, dropping his shoulders in defeat. "I'm going to lose everything at this rate."

"Well," Kyle said, smirking, "if you want my nuggets, you've got to get creative. And by creative, I mean... pay me in pizza. Five pizzas for those chicken nuggets."

"Five pizzas?! That's... that's highway robbery!"

"Maybe," Kyle shrugged. "But it's also called 'survival of the fittest.'"

Joey, already regretting his life choices, sighed and stared at the frozen nuggets. "Fine. Five pizzas. But you better not eat all the good toppings like last time."

Kyle gave a mock salute. "Deal."

---

Later that day, Joey returned with five pizzas—pepperoni, sausage, Hawaiian (because Kyle insisted), and two veggie pizzas he hoped Kyle wouldn't touch.

Kyle, the smug genius, took his bounty with a satisfied nod. "Pleasure doing business with you, my friend."

Joey, feeling both victorious and like he had been royally scammed, grabbed a single nugget and shoved it into his mouth, tasting sweet, salty revenge. And in that moment, he realized: some things are worth paying for—even if it's with five pizzas and your dignity.

Moral of the story? If you want to keep your chicken nuggets safe from your older brother, you might need to get a little creative. Or just... let him eat all the pizza.