The first magic of their connection, of course, started to run up against the tragic realities of their
completely different lives as John and Emma's relationship grew. It was a bond they fought to
keep, yet each battled internal struggles that said more than just 'ok, I'm going to put in the work
for us,' they said more about the work they'd already started within themselves.
1. Social Scrutiny and Disapproval
His friends, colleagues and even members of his family couldn't make heads or tails of John's
fascination with Emma. For them, she was an outsider — a woman from a different world —
utterly incapable of understanding his ambitions, much less fitting into his upper class circle.
They spoke openly over drinks and dinners of their concerns. They tut tutted away that getting
involved with someone not on his level would drag him down and tarnish his reputation. Marcus,
John's closest friend and business partner thus was the most vocal in bringing John back to the
reality that they'd had to sacrifice a lot to build SnowCorp. It was a distraction, and an
unnecessary, troublesome complication, in his eyes.
He opposed these opinions, and sometimes stood up to them, watching as he strained his oldest
relationships in order to do so. His friends' shallow values, and their judgmental comments no
longer pained him, but their disapproval did. He also realized how deeply he'd been ingrained in
a world of wealth and status, and what that meant about how lonely this new life could
sometimes be.
2. Emma's Insecurities
John was battling external pressure, Emma internal pressure. John's drive and success had been
praised by her, but she couldn't separate that from the fact that she didn't believe she belonged in
his world. But when the two were out partying together, she felt like she was an outsider and that
John introduced her into his network proudly. It felt like a pat on the cheek and patronizing small
talk, and the glances she'd get, and the patronizing small talk, just made her feel like she was just
some latest 'project', or accessory.
Emma was fiercely independent and didn't want to be dependent on John's wealth or on him. It
was not the reality that John frequently insisted on paying for things she simply could not afford
and yet there was something she simply could not reconcile with her pride. She hated feeling
beholden to his generosity and would sometimes argue with him, some thing in silence. She
worried he'd feel her resentment and run, but couldn't figure out how to clarify that she needs to
stand on her own.
3. Clashing Values and Philosophies
The force that had brought them together — their life philosophies — became a source of
conflict when they double dated. John still liked results, efficiency, control—all the things that
made him a good businessman, but that sometimes rubbed Emma the wrong way. When he said
he would help her get her nonprofit's operations streamlined with suggested performance metrics
and benchmarks, Emma bristled, she felt like he wanted to turn her heartfelt mission into another
venture. She was concerned he was losing sight of the heart of her work, work founded on
compassion and not profit.
Back in the g'hrid, meanwhile, John couldn't understand why Emma resisted his ideas. From his
perspective he was promising solutions that would expand and enhance her organization's ability
to reach into and impact the world. To each other they were an impasse: they wanted to help sell
each other, unable to see beyond a set of their own beliefs. These conflicts also frustrated them
and they'd each wonder if they really could coexist while compromising their own values.
4. The Burden of John's Past
Emma got to know John more intimately and began to see the emotional weight he carried from
his past. She knew betrayal, and cutthroat decisions, and loneliness that sprung, inevitably, from
his success. She made John vulnerable to her with things he hadn't been with anyone else, scars
he hadn't shown not even to himself. Opening up also introduced him to fears he didn't even
know he had.
That made him fear that Emma could come to hate the world he existed in and have enough of
the ruthless part of him that he hadn't excised out entirely. However, he was plagued with guilt
because he wasn't worthy of what people like Emma were capable of. In the best of cases he
would find himself retreating emotionally, scared of losing her but petrified of the full
vulnerability too. In turn, Emma could feel his hesitation and it just about tore her heart away.
She worried that he might keep part of himself at arm's length, enough of a distance to detach
them.
5. The Test of Commitment and Sacrifice
The biggest test there was their commitment and sacrifice. With John, Emma thought she had
found the man of her dreams, and she was offered a leadership position in her organization, an
opportunity she'd always wanted, but it meant long hours and meant even more time away from
John. Meanwhile, SnowCorp was pressuring John to take an acquisition that would demand his
entire attention. They felt both pulled in opposite directions; wondering if the relationship would
be just one more altar of ambition sacrifice.
It frightened Emma to think that she would have to give up her dreams of a career and she was
scared to imagine losing the man she had come to love. John offset his own fear of seeming
weak, his fear of falsely enacting his commitment to his company, by the fear of losing Emma. It
all resulted in long, difficult conversations and many late nights spent wondering why they made
the choices they did. Silently, each wondered if, in reality; they could have it all, or if love, by its
very nature necessarily required some things that neither were yet ready to give up.
John and Emma would both begin to see how deep the changes they'd both been making were
through these struggles. From all of this they learned that love wasn't about connection, it was
about choosing to keep moving forward together when things are tough. This meant, for John,
that he had to lose his pride, honor Emma, and accept that love cannot be possessive or a thing
that you control. It was a hard thing for Emma to have to confront her insecurities, to trust that
she could love John the way that he loved her despite their different worlds.
This was a journey each helped the other become more self aware and compassionate. They
knew the road lay ahead would be full of additional challenges, but they were starting to feel that
working together they could be stronger. The struggle itself was painful, but it had brought them
closer as never before; it had brought them together as one Man, trusting in the inevitable
redemption of all things.