Hey guys! Wisteria here just letting you know that this was the last chapter I have prewritten right now. My computer is currently broken so writing updates will be slower until it gets fixed.
(Basically if you see uploaded chapters in my stories it's because they were already in the vault.)
This isn't the end just a minor setback. I should have my pc fixed by the end of February if everything goes well!
Now this chapter is one I had saved for the end of the sports festival preparation but here it is!
It's time to Let Todo Cook!
===
The studio lights cast a warm glow across the set of Beyond Plus Ultra as Wisteria adjusted her blue Stitch onesie, pencils rattling in her messy bun. She perched on her oversized armchair, notepad balanced precariously on one knee.
"Welcome back to Beyond Plus Ultra! Today we have a special treat - UA's own Aoi Todo has prepared what he calls a 'scientific analysis' of what your taste in women reveals about you as a person." She gestured to the towering student who stood proudly next to a projector screen. "And he's brought some friends to help demonstrate his theories."
Todo commanded attention in the space, his 6'3" frame radiating confidence as he surveyed his captive audience. The scar above his left eye caught the studio lights as he nodded sagely.
"Thank you for having me. As someone who has achieved enlightenment regarding the correlation between taste in women and personality, I feel it's my duty to share this knowledge."
Behind him, arranged on a long couch, sat his classmates. Kaminari slouched comfortably, his black lightning bolt streak stark against blonde hair. Next to him, Kirishima's spiked red hair practically glowed under the lights as he leaned forward with interest. Tokoyami perched at the edge, feathers slightly ruffled as he maintained his dignified pose. Yoichi sprawled casually in the middle, white hair artfully tousled. Midoriya sat rigid and nervous, while Iida maintained perfect posture beside him. Sero rounded out the group, tape dispensers glinting at his elbows.
"First slide please." Todo clicked the remote with flourish.
The screen displayed a complex chart with various female archetypes arranged in a circular pattern, connected by a web of lines and annotations.
"Now, as we can see, there are distinct categories that reveal core personality traits. Let's start with our resident electricity user." Todo pointed dramatically at Kaminari. "Your consistent attraction to mature, motherly types who could absolutely destroy you in combat reveals deep-seated desires for both nurturing and domination."
"Hey wait a minute!" Kaminari bolted upright, yellow eyes wide. "I never said anything about-"
"The evidence speaks for itself. Your reaction to the Wild Wild Pussycats was quite telling." Todo nodded knowingly. "It's nothing to be ashamed of. It simply means you seek guidance and protection while maintaining your masculine pride through the thrill of danger."
Kirishima failed to suppress his sharp-toothed grin. "He's got you there, bro."
"Moving on." Todo clicked to the next slide, featuring an intricate Venn diagram. "Kirishima's case is particularly fascinating. His attraction to strong, athletic women with a wild side indicates someone who values authenticity and passion. The pink hair preference suggests an appreciation for those who refuse to conform to society's expectations."
Kirishima's cheeks flushed nearly as red as his hair. "That's not- I mean-" He coughed and looked away.
"The evidence is quite conclusive." Todo tapped the screen. "Your reaction to Ashido's new workout routine was visible from orbit."
"Dude!" Kirishima buried his face in his hands while Kaminari cackled beside him.
Tokoyami shifted uncomfortably as Todo's attention turned his way. "I fail to see how this analysis serves any purpose beyond embarrassment."
"Ah, but your case is most enlightening!" Todo's eyes gleamed. "Your appreciation for Gothic aesthetics and mysterious personalities reveals a romantic soul seeking someone who understands the darkness within. The attraction to those who can pierce the veil of shadow speaks to a desire for genuine connection despite your carefully maintained distance."
The avian student's feathers puffed slightly. "Revelry in the dark," he muttered.
"Next we have our resident forgetful genius." Todo gestured grandly toward Yoichi. "Your case is particularly complex, given your apparent harem protagonist status-"
"I object to that characterization," Yoichi interrupted, though his usual easy smile remained. The lotus patterns in his eyes spun lazily.
"The data doesn't lie. Your attraction to strong-willed women with leadership qualities and combat prowess indicates someone who values capability and determination. The fact that they tend to be slightly terrifying suggests you enjoy living dangerously."
"I prefer to think of it as appreciating passionate people." Yoichi's smile widened. "Though I notice you haven't included yourself in this analysis."
"My standards are beyond mortal comprehension," Todo declared. "Now, moving to our next subject-"
"Um, maybe we should skip-" Midoriya began, green eyes darting nervously.
"Midoriya's case study reveals fascinating insights into the psychology of admiration versus attraction!" Todo steamrolled over the objection. "His focus on strong, nurturing personalities who guide and protect others shows deeply ingrained hero worship combining with emergent romantic awareness."
Midoriya sank lower in his seat, face blazing red as he muttered rapid-fire analysis under his breath.
"Iida presents an interesting contrast," Todo continued, ignoring his victim's distress. "His attraction to those who maintain proper decorum while displaying exceptional ability indicates someone who values both tradition and excellence. The preference for glasses suggests an appreciation for intellectual pursuit."
"I must protest this unfounded speculation!" Iida's hand chopped the air with mechanical precision. "Such personal matters should not be subject to public discourse!"
"And finally, we have Sero." Todo clicked to the final slide. "Your case demonstrates classic appreciation for the girl-next-door archetype, but with a specific focus on those with a mischievous streak. This reveals someone who values comfort and authenticity while maintaining a sense of adventure."
Sero shrugged good-naturedly. "Could be worse, I guess."
"Now, if we examine the correlation matrix-" Todo began, but Wisteria cleared her throat.
"Perhaps we should take some questions from our studio audience?" She gestured to where several of their female classmates had gathered, expressions ranging from amused to murderous.
"Questions?" Todo brightened at the prospect of audience participation. "Excellent! This will allow us to examine real-world applications of these theories."
Wisteria's eyes darted between the boys on stage and the gathering storm in the audience. The temperature seemed to drop several degrees as Hitomi rose first, frost patterns crystallizing along her dual-colored hair.
"I have a question about your methodology." Her voice carried the same chill as her quirk. "Specifically, how you gathered this so-called data."
"Careful observation and detailed analysis." Todo nodded, completely missing the danger signs. "For instance, your own case file indicates-"
"My what?"
Ice crackled across the floor. Midoriya squeaked and pulled his feet up onto the couch.
"Todo, perhaps we should-" Yoichi started, but Jiro cut him off.
"No, please continue." Her earphone jacks twirled with deadly precision. "I'm fascinated by this research of yours."
"As am I." Momo's normally warm voice held an edge sharp enough to cut steel. "Particularly the ethical implications of conducting such studies without informed consent."
Todo beamed at their interest. "Ethics are a vital consideration! I maintain strict confidentiality standards. Only Yoichi has access to my findings, as my certified best friend."
"Is that so?" Katsumi's voice could have stripped paint. Red eyes locked onto Yoichi, who suddenly found the ceiling fascinating.
"Absolutely! His insight has been invaluable, especially regarding the complex dynamics of managing multiple romantic interests-"
"Managing?" The temperature spiked as Katsumi's palms sparked.
"Poor word choice," Yoichi muttered. "Very poor word choice."
Kaori leaned forward, tail swishing behind her. "Please elaborate on these... dynamics."
"Well, the data suggests that those capable of maintaining multiple meaningful relationships possess exceptional emotional intelligence and communication skills." Todo clicked to a new slide covered in interconnected circles. "For instance, the balanced appreciation of both aggressive and nurturing personalities indicates-"
"I'm going to die," Yoichi announced to no one in particular. "This is how I die."
"Not yet." Katsumi cracked her knuckles. "First, we're going to have a long discussion about sharing personal information."
"Oh, but this is all publicly observable data!" Todo assured her. "Like how your aggressive displays actually mask deep-seated insecurities about traditional femininity, while still maintaining pride in your appearance and capabilities-"
The explosion that followed took out half the stage lights.
"Now, now," Wisteria tried to intervene. "Let's keep the property damage to a minimum-"
"I have a question!" Ashido bounced up, acid sizzling at her fingertips. "About that 'wild side' comment regarding pink hair?"
Kirishima sank deeper into the couch. "Bro, you gotta stop talking."
"The correlation is quite fascinating!" Todo remained oblivious to his friend's distress. "The bold color choice often indicates someone who-"
"Does anyone else smell burning?" Kaminari interrupted, sniffing the air.
"That would be Todo's presentation notes." Hitomi watched with satisfaction as frost met acid across the projector screen.
"My research!" Todo finally showed concern. "The vital data-"
"Will be thoroughly destroyed," Momo stated. "Along with any backup copies."
"But the scientific implications-"
"Aren't worth your continued existence," Jiro finished. Her jacks plugged into her amplifiers. "Choose wisely."
"I don't understand the hostility." Todo frowned. "This information could help people find compatible partners based on psychological profiles and attraction patterns-"
"Toru, would you like to demonstrate why this is problematic?" Momo asked.
"Gladly!" The floating uniform stepped forward. "Let's discuss your notes on my 'apparent preference for tall, muscular types who can actually see me.' And how that supposedly reveals 'deep-seated desires for visibility and validation.'"
Todo brightened. "Exactly! The implications-"
"Perhaps we should focus on the positive aspects?" Yoichi attempted damage control. "Like how these observations show the depth and complexity of everyone's character-"
"Interesting suggestion from someone who apparently helped compile these profiles." Kaori's tail lashed. "Care to share your contributions to the research?"
"I merely provided minimal feedback on the analytical framework-"
"Which explains how he knew about my private conversation with Momo regarding traditional expectations versus personal ambitions?" Hitomi's voice could have frozen helium.
Yoichi shot Todo a betrayed look. "You said that was hypothetical!"
"All data contributes to the greater understanding!" Todo declared. "For instance, the correlation between quirk manifestation and romantic preferences-"
"No." Katsumi's voice promised violence. "We're not doing quirk analysis. We're discussing boundaries and appropriate information sharing."
"But the patterns are fascinating! Like how your explosive quirk mirrors your passionate nature-"
The next blast took out the remaining stage lights. In the darkness, Tokoyami sighed.
"Revelry in the dark," he muttered.
"Perhaps we should take a brief break?" Wisteria suggested, brushing debris from her Stitch onesie. "To cool down and-"
"Oh no." Jiro's jacks writhed like angry snakes. "We're going to finish this discussion. Starting with how my musical interests apparently indicate 'a desire to be heard beyond my quiet exterior.'"
"Exactly!" Todo somehow still missed the danger. "Just as Yaoyorozu's appreciation for traditional aesthetics while maintaining modern sensibilities reveals-"
"Nothing that should be discussed without explicit permission," Momo cut in. Her quirk sparked as she created something that looked suspiciously like a medieval mace. "Which brings us to the topic of consent and privacy."
"I'm leaving." Yoichi stood. "I was never here. This conversation never happened. I'm moving to Antarctica."
"Sit down." Multiple female voices spoke in perfect synchronization. He sat.
"Now then." Katsumi stepped forward, explosions dancing across her palms. "Let's discuss the concept of consequences."
"Starting with the destruction of all research materials," Hitomi added as ice crept up the walls.
"And a detailed list of everyone who's seen these notes," Momo continued, testing the weight of her mace.
"Followed by a comprehensive discussion of appropriate boundaries," Jiro finished, amplifiers humming ominously.
Todo finally seemed to grasp the situation. "Perhaps I should have conducted peer review before publication?"
"Ya think?" Kaminari muttered.
"The peer review is happening now," Ashido informed him cheerfully. Acid dripped from her fingers. "We're your peers, and we're reviewing your life choices."
"I appreciate the feedback!" Todo's voice remained enthusiastic despite his increasing pallor. "This demonstrates exactly how different personality types approach conflict resolution-"
"Still analyzing?" Kaori's tail twitched. "Let's give you some new data to work with."
"Wait!" Midoriya finally found his voice. "Violence isn't the answer!"
"Correct," Jiro agreed. "Violence is the question. The answer is yes."
"Perhaps a more structured discourse-" Iida began, hands chopping the air.
"Oh, we'll have discourse," Hitomi assured him. Ice crawled across the ceiling. "Extensive discourse."
"Your passion for proper social conduct is fascinating!" Todo noted. "This supports my theory about how your dual nature quirk reflects internal conflicts regarding-"
Multiple quirks activated simultaneously. The resulting chaos took out three cameras and most of the set.
"And we'll be right back after these messages!" Wisteria announced to the surviving camera. "While we... renovate the studio. And possibly find a new host. Remember to like and subscribe!"
The feed cut to commercial as Sero created tape barriers between the warring factions.
"You know," he commented to Tokoyami as they watched Todo flee through the emergency exit, "sometimes I think we're the only sane ones in this class."
"Sanity is relative in the darkness," Tokoyami replied. Dark Shadow nodded sagely.
"Fair point. Think we should help him?"
"Nature must take its course." Tokoyami settled back to observe. "Though perhaps we should document the results. For science."
"Pretty sure that's what got us into this mess."
The studio doors burst open as Todo's voice echoed from the hallway: "But the data patterns clearly indicate-"
Multiple explosions cut off his analysis.
"So," Sero turned to the camera still rolling despite Wisteria's announcement, "same time next week?"
Tokoyami sighed as Dark Shadow provided commentary on the chase scene now moving through the building. "Assuming the studio survives."
"And Todo does."
"That too."
In the hallway, Todo's voice carried clearly: "Your coordinated pursuit patterns suggest excellent teamwork capabilities and shared values regarding-"
The resulting blast took out the last camera.
Technical Difficulties appeared on screen, accompanied by the sounds of chaos, scientific analysis, and revenge being served at slightly above room temperature.
Some lessons, it seemed, had to be learned the hard way. Preferably with property damage.
And somewhere in the rubble, a singed notebook contained one final entry: "Conclusion - Further research may be hazardous to researcher's health. Addendum: Worth it for science."
The camera feed finally died as Wisteria's voice cut through the chaos: "Remember to tune in next week for our special episode on 'What Your Choice in Heroes Says About Your Daddy Issues'! Assuming we still have a studio. And a host. And Todo survives. Place your bets now!"
In the end, three lessons were learned:
Not all data needs to be shared
Some theories are better left untested
Never underestimate the combined wrath of multiple quirk users defending their privacy
The real question was whether Todo would remember these lessons next time inspiration struck. Given his track record, probably not.
But that was a hypothesis for another day. Preferably one with better insurance coverage and stronger blast walls.
For now, the only sound was Wisteria's laughter as she added "Studio Renovation Fee" to Todo's growing list of expenses. Science, it seemed, didn't come cheap.
Especially when it involved analyzing the wrong people's personal lives.