Chereads / I feel in love with a bastard / Chapter 12 - Chapter 11

Chapter 12 - Chapter 11

Clare furrowed her brow when, after opening her eyes, the first sight she saw was Ian's face. The boy was lying next to her, resting his cheek on his hand. He was looking at her with amusement in his eyes, which at one point drove the scowling nineteen-year-old crazy.

- What's so amusing about you, donkey? - These were the first words that came out of her mouth after waking up.

- Your hopelessness," he replied.

She rose to a sitting position, feeling a terrible headache. Thundering with her eyes at the brunet, she massaged her forehead.

- Why did I sleep in your house?

- Well, I don't know... remind yourself, alcoholic.

He teased her. She felt like punching him. She was hungover and angry, and he further raised her blood pressure.

- If I could remember I wouldn't have asked you, moron.

He puffed out his lips, looking indifferent to the challenges she was serving him.

- Now I'm a donkey and a moron, and yesterday when you were stuck in my arms you called me "Oh Romeo!" - rose to a sitting position and spectacularly put his arms around her - ...in front of everyone, including your poor boy.

She opened her mouth in surprise, watching him with eyes smeared all around with black ink. She pulled the black wig off her head and blinked her eyelids.

- Why did you hold me in your arms?

- You fell into my arms yourself. - He snorted under his breath. - And now you pretend you don't remember anything. If alcohol is bad for your brain, then you'd better give up drinking, or you'll become as stupid as a shoe altogether.

- Are you saying this from your experience? - she bit back, making him laugh up to his armpits.

- And that's why I like you so much, Clare. - His confession was too sincere, if one considers his character. He embarrassed her, and himself as well.

They looked into each other's eyes for a long moment.

- Do you like me? Good for you. You are capable of liking anyone at all? Your heart is made of iron, so similar words in your mouth sound absurd.

She turned her back to him and wanted to get out of bed, but he grabbed her elbow and pulled her close. She fell with her back on the mattress, and he took advantage of this and sat on top of her, preventing her from leaving.

- Stop treating me like a monster. If I'm such a bastard and my heart is made of iron, why the hell do you agree to our engagement? Do you want to spite your boyfriend? Show him what he's missing?

Clare smiled mockingly.

- I'm doing it because I have no choice. My life sucks anyway, so marrying you at this point is indifferent to me. I'm not going to fight for Felix anymore, I've given up, so I might as well be stuck in hell with you.

He grabbed her chin, sternly looking into her eyes.

- Do you think that by living with me, hell awaits you? What if you are just freed from the hell that is Felix Brown and return to earth? - The girl squinted, wondering what Ian was referring to. - I understand that you hate me for the past, for every harm I've done to you since we quarreled, but remember that you were largely responsible for the breakup of our friendship. So, I had a right to hold a grudge against you. Looking at you for so many years, it hurt the same every time.

She didn't expect that the day would come when Ian Waller, who was never an effusive person and kept everything inside, would open up to her and start talking about his feelings.

- Do you think I was a major contributor to the end of our friendship? And who bet on me with his colleagues?

- And you believed it! - he shouted in her face, with which he initially frightened her. - There was no bet! I found out that it was Violette who made up this nonsense and let the rumor go around our friends, but you jumped on me without even wanting to listen for a moment to what I had to say. You challenged me in a cruel way, bestially shouted in my face that I was the biggest mistake of your life and that I should die because I was worthless trash. You don't even know how much it hurt when I heard those words from my best friend's mouth.

It left her speechless. She simply watched him as he stepped down from her and headed toward the window. He stood with his back to her, saying nothing else.

The blonde got up from the bed and, still watching his silhouette, pondered the words she had heard from him.

Her memories took her back to the past.

Could it have been true? She had been stuck in hatred of her former friend for several years, believing the lie that Violette had made up? Did she do it to destroy their friendship? She was jealous, so she wanted to separate them at all costs, and Clare believed the rant instead of trusting her friend?

If it was true, and Ian really wasn't trying to play the angel now, it was coming out that the real monster was Clare....

- If there was no bet, then why did you start acting so strangely towards me at that time? Many times you tried to kiss me....

He turned to face her, forcing a slight smile.

- Why? Why did I attempt to kiss you? Because I couldn't hold back any longer. I was in love with you up to my ears. That's the whole secret of my strange behavior!

She swallowed her saliva harder, increasingly surprised by his openness.

- You? In love with me? - She asked in a weaker voice, and then he came up to her and firmly grabbed her shoulders. She opened her eyes wider, not understanding his behavior. - This hurts...

- This pain is nothing compared to the pain you caused me! We were inseparable, you were my only true friend, and you so cruelly stabbed me in the back! I hated you with all my heart for this, so far, I've tried to turn your life into hell, I teased you to at least give me some relief, but I realized that it hurt even more.

This was the first time in a very long time that she saw tears in his eyes. The last time he cried was during their argument, when she wouldn't let him get a word in edgewise. When they were best friends, she was the only one to see his tears.

- Ian...

He embraced her face with his hand and kissed her greedily. Clare tried to pull away from him, but he wasn't going to let her go. He did it suddenly and too aggressively.

He frightened her.

Defending herself, she punched him in the face without regard for his suffering.

- Don't ever do that again," she warned him in a trembling voice, threatening him with her finger.

She was hunched over, irritated and shocked, so she hurriedly left his room and ran down the stairs, wanting to be in her house as soon as possible.

She would rather not know that she turned out to be the worst one after all.

*

Biting her nails, she sat in her room, staring out the window for a long time. She couldn't stop thinking about Ian's words, about what he had said to her.

All these years he had been in love with her, and she believed the rumors dissolved by a jealous Violette? She didn't believe her best friend, not even letting him get a word in edgewise, and all these years she hated him, while he had the real reason to disrespect her for how cruelly she treated him....

The blonde walked over to the dressing table and sat down in the chair, despondently watching her reflection. Her makeup was smeared all over her face, making her look like a bogeyman.

She put makeup remover foam on a cotton ball and began rubbing her skin with it.

Looking at herself, at one point she felt like crying.

She was devastated.

If she had had the opportunity to meet Violette at that moment, she would have undoubtedly pulled out all her hair. If it was true that this otter had messed up their friendship, she could start preparing her grave.

Clare did not let go so easily of people who meddled in her life, even if it was several years ago.

She had to resolve all disputes to have a peaceful heart.

She threw the dirty cotton balls in the trash and, with her face clean enough, got up from her chair to change. She pulled her favorite sweatpants from the closet, then grabbed a bottle of water to satisfy the dryness in her throat. The hangover did not give her peace of mind, even though she had taken a pill some time ago.

It was now approaching ten o'clock. It was getting warmer outside, the throbbing headache was not letting up; however, she was not going to let go of this flounder.

She was approaching her house when she spotted her getting out of the car. She was laden with bags and happy.

Clare jumped at her and snatched her purchases, throwing them onto the sidewalk in a frenzy. She grabbed the brunette by the collar of her blouse and squeezed her against the gate.

- You can't even imagine how much I feel like scratching your eyes out.

- Are you crazy! - The peer tried to push her away, but Clare, in a fit of aggression, was stronger.

- If you are a worthless, slut, then don't destroy the friendship of others. Did you think that if you spoil my relationship with Ian, he will fly to you with his tongue hanging out? If you are hopeless, then in his eyes you will always be so. Mixing up the lives of others will not help you achieve your goal. For that, you need to be clever, a moron.

Violette caught what the blonde was talking about and smiled mockingly.

- Have you finally heard the truth? You are the pathetic one since you believed the gossip and not your best friend. For many years, I was wallowing in victory because you hated him. I won, even if he won't accept my heart.

The blonde tugged at her, increasingly losing her temper.

- People like you don't achieve anything in life because karma comes back, and they end up becoming a stinking piece of shit.

- Why does the truth from a few years ago hurt you so much? Are you now going to atone and repair your relationship? - She asked in a mocking voice.

The nineteen-year-old wanted to spice her up at all costs.

- We have already had an honest talk. We had to clear up any misunderstandings since our engagement will take place this coming weekend.

Her mocking smile dimmed. She turned pale on her face.

- What?

Clare looked pleased. The sight of her friend's sad face, released all the anger from her.

- Don't feel invited because neither I nor Ian intend to see you at our celebration. - She turned her back and walked away with her chin raised. - You lost the battle, slut.

Eventually, she rubbed her nose in it.

*

- Are you crazy! - Paul, who was keeping her company, glared at her with puzzled eyes, holding a straw in his mouth. - Are you really going to do this? What about your great love for Felix?

His name made her sad again.

- As far as he is concerned, I have lost. I'm not going to do anything anymore. I don't have the strength to fight anymore, Paul.

- After all, you two talked frankly last time. You explained everything to each other....

- But yesterday he spurned me again.

She rested her cheek on her hand, with a snotty look at the glass filled with coca - cola from which her friend drank.

- Don't ruin your life. Don't get into a marriage with this monster. He will turn your life into hell. - Belluci looked troubled by her final decision. - Think it over again. Recall how happy you were with Felix.

- So what if I was happy, if now everything has changed?

The boy took her hand, trying to reason with her.

- Our parents may try to arrange our lives and choose the partners we should be with, but the final decision is always ours. We don't have to put up with it for them to achieve their goals.

Clare furrowed her brow, wondering if there was any reference to his marriage to Rosalie.

- There's something wrong with you, isn't there?

The friend hid his face behind his hands and sighed loudly.

- I attempted to explain to my parents that Rose is crazy and obsessed with me, but they wouldn't hear. I explained to them that she is possessive and controls me at every turn, but they said that this speaks well of her because she apparently cares a lot about me. They only see business, their child they don't give a damn about.

The blonde looked at him with caring eyes.

- Is she really that awful?

- Nightmare. Usually, I can put up with a lot, but she has some kind of mental disorder. Yesterday, she threw a Gucci purse at me, and that grandpa was so hard that I felt like I had been hit in the head with a stone.

- Does she throw things at you? I thought she was a cool girl, just a little crazy, but at this point she was exaggerating sharply.

- All my life I've been an obedient child, doing everything my parents told me to do, but I think it's time for me to rebel, even if I have to leave home.

- Whatever your decision, remember that I will always help you. - She smiled at him cheerfully, trying to comfort him. - I will not leave you alone.

- That's why you, too, think twice before doing something crazy. We only live once, and we must make the most of it, so as not to ruin our happiness.

His words gave her food for thought. Should she reconsider this engagement and fight for Felix once again? He is her first love, a man she still adores and cares deeply about, so should she let go so easily?