As we continued wandering through the upscale shop, the weight of my overactive thoughts grew heavier with each step. My mind raced in circles, replaying the events from earlier and conjuring up every possible way I could tell her what had happened. Overthinking was practically my second nature, and now it had shifted into overdrive. Every glance she threw my way, every small smile she gave as she browsed through racks of clothing, only made my internal struggle worse. The words sat on the tip of my tongue, but every time I tried to muster the courage to say them, they felt too clumsy, too forced. How should I tell her? Should I even tell her? Was it better to let it go and hope it never came up, or would hiding it only make things worse?
The guilt gnawed at me, growing stronger with every passing moment. I felt like I was keeping some monumental secret from her, and the weight of that unspoken truth made my chest feel tight. Kaori, who had been nothing but kind and oddly genuine in her own blunt way, didn't deserve that. Yet, I still hesitated. Why couldn't I just say it? It wasn't like I'd committed some huge betrayal, but the longer I stayed silent, the worse it felt.
I stole a glance at her as she held up another suit, her expression contemplative, as though she was calculating which design would suit me best—or, more likely, which one her parents would approve of. She looked so effortlessly graceful, even while shopping for something as mundane as formal wear. For a moment, I got lost in the way her hair shimmered under the soft, expensive lighting of the store, how the delicate curve of her lips twitched upward in satisfaction when she found something she liked.
I shook my head quickly, trying to snap myself out of it. Focus, Yuto. Stop gawking like an idiot. You've got something to say, so just… say it. Except, as much as I told myself that, my feet kept moving, and the moment to speak kept slipping further away.
The truth was, I wasn't just overthinking. I was overanalyzing, over-complicating, and just plain overdoing it. What if telling her made things awkward between us? What if she got upset? What if… she didn't even care? That last thought, oddly enough, was the most terrifying. The idea that this thing I'd been obsessing over might not even matter to her stung more than I wanted to admit.
Calm down a bit, Iwasaki Yuto. You can tell her later. For now, focus and don't act too awkward around Kaori.
"Yuto, here, try this," she said, holding out a suit.
"Y-Yuto?"
"O-oh, r-right," I stammered, snapping out of my thoughts.
Man, Yuto, you're spacing out too much. Get it together! I swear, I'm turning into one of those dense protagonists who can't keep their head straight around a girl.
"Here, Yuto, another one," she said, handing me yet another suit.
She looked at me, eyebrows raised. "What? You haven't even tried that one yet. Go to the changing room and try it now."
"Y-yeah, right."
So I trudged off to the changing room, clutching the latest overpriced outfit she'd handed me. Once inside, I slipped into the suit and glanced in the mirror.
Whoa, I look… kind of handsome today. But let me tell you, this suit is ultra-mega expensive. I bet it costs more than my monthly rent. Heck, it might even feed me for a whole month. And here I am, just casually wearing it like it's no big deal. Nah, maybe I should try something else.
So I tried on everything Kaori gave me. Yes, I'm that pathetic loser who lets a girl choose his clothes. She's even the one paying for all this! Goodness, I feel like I owe her my life with everything she's done for me so far. This part-time job, the part-time girlfriend gig—it's like I hit the jackpot. I get paid, I get to hang out with her family, and on top of it all, I get to pretend to date my angelic crush. If this isn't luck, I don't know what is.
Anyway, back to the topic. Girls are insane. She picked out so many suits that my head's spinning. I can't even choose one properly—too many options! Girls' fashion sense is on another level. Meanwhile, here I am, just a certified loser struggling to decide.
Okay, okay, focus, Yuto. Back to the topic. Wait, why do I keep saying "back to the topic"? Oh, right—my author's making me yap too much again. Listen, bro, I'm not a girl; I'm a boy. I'm supposed to be mysterious and quiet, you know? Gah, never mind, I'm just a loser.
Yeah, I tried on everything she gave me and ended up—
"I gave you so many choices, and you ended up choosing the cheapest one," Kaori said, arms crossed.
"Ehehe," I laughed awkwardly, scratching my head.
"Well, it looks good on you. You look clean now," she said, a hint of teasing in her voice.
"Is that supposed to be a compliment or what?" I shot back.
"Huhhh? I just complimented you, and that's how you respond?" she huffed, puffing out her cheeks. "This is why I hate boys."
Gahh, she looks so cute when she's angry. This is the first time I've seen her like this. At school, she's always smiling, always perfect, always polite to everyone. But now, behind the scenes, she has this unexpectedly adorable personality. Huh, who knew?
"Cute—"
"Eh?" she blurted, her face turning bright red. She couldn't look me in the eye.
Wait, did I just say that out loud? What the hell, man?! Now I'm too embarrassed to face her.
"Well, you too," she mumbled, still not meeting my gaze. "You… look handsome today in that suit."
"Thanks," I said, smiling at her.
She suddenly flinched, as if realizing what she just said. "Uh, um, it's not like—I mean, you just look good in that suit, okay? Don't read into it or anything!"
"Yes, yes," I said, nodding along, not wanting to dig myself into a deeper hole.
Man, I really don't understand women. They change their tone and personality so fast it's like flipping a switch.
...
As we walked out of the shop, the night air greeted us, cool and crisp against the warmth of the brightly lit storefronts. The streetlights glowed softly, and the faint hum of traffic filled the air. Everything felt surreal, like I was in one of those fancy romance dramas I sometimes watch late at night.
And then it hit me—this was the perfect moment. I had to tell her. The thing I'd been overthinking all day? It couldn't wait any longer.
"U-Umm, K-Kaori," I said, hesitating as my heart started racing.
"H-Huh? Why?" she asked, looking at me curiously.
"I have something to tell you."