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Chapter 20 - A fragile blossom, withering

Cheng Xing felt an uncomfortable sensation when Jiang Luxi misunderstood him. Perhaps it was because of his memories of the future that made him unusually sensitive to her perception of him. He didn't want to leave a negative impression.

In his previous lives, they hadn't had much interaction at this point in time.

But things were different now.

Regressed to the past, Cheng Xing, armed with his future memories, recalled Jiang Luxi's help.

But that feeling was fleeting. After all, they barely knew each other yet, and there was still plenty of time ahead. A person's impression could change over time.

The college entrance examination was still nearly a year away.

A lot could change in that time.

In fact, Cheng Xing's feelings toward her were simple and pure. He simply wanted to be friends.

Only by becoming friends could he truly help her.

In her previous life, Jiang Luxi had no friends—she was always alone. And for anyone, having no friends or loved ones, coupled with the early death of her parents, would naturally lead to deep loneliness.

Cheng Xing believed that Jiang Luxi's decision to become a nun in her later life was probably due to this overwhelming isolation. She must have sought solace in faith, yearning for spiritual comfort.

He didn't want a girl like her to end up retreating to a monastery.

He was a fan of the 1987 "Dream of the Red Chamber adaptation", captivated by Chen Xiaoxu, the actress who portrayed Lin Daiyu. However, Chen Xiaoxu later embarked on a spiritual journey, becoming a nun. Embracing the Buddhist truths of life's impermanence, she ultimately chose to forego further treatment, peacefully passing away at a young age, much like a delicate flower fading.

Before her passing, Chen Xiaoxu was both wealthy and renowned. Jiang Luxi, too, had the potential to become a successful businesswoman, shares a similar trajectory.

The poignant lines, "How long can the bright and beautiful last? Once adrift, it's hard to find again. It's easy to see flowers bloom but hard to find them when they fall. The steps are filled with sorrow for those who bury flowers," seemed to echo Chen Xiaoxu's life.

Cheng Xing didn't want Jiang Luxi's fate to be the same.

But he was also deeply moved by Chen Xiaoxu's purity and strength of character, her ability to maintain dignity and resilience, even in the most challenging circumstances.

Still, that fate was too painful for her loved ones, her fans, and those who admired her.

When Cheng Xing returned home, his father was drinking tea and reading the newspaper, while his mother was watching TV. On Saturdays, the family had rare moments to be together.

Seeing Cheng Xing come in with heavy bags, Deng Ying asked, "What did you buy? It looks so heavy."

Cheng Xing's bags had been empty when he left, but now it was bulging. She could tell from the shape that it was heavy.

Cheng Xing smiled and took out the textbooks he had bought. "Just some books."

Cheng Chuan turned a page of his newspaper, glanced up, and asked, "Why did you buy so many textbooks? Even if you lost your old ones and the teacher asked you to catch up, you don't need to buy all the junior high ones, right?"

In the past, Cheng Xing had often misplaced his books mid-semester, and when the teacher required him to make up for it, he'd buy supplementary textbooks. But buying dozens at once was unusual for him.

"Dad, Mom, I've been thinking about it. You're right. If I don't study hard now and don't get into a good university, I'll really regret it later," Cheng Xing said.

That phrase—"If you don't study hard now, you'll regret it later"—had been a staple from teachers and parents during his school years. Back then, Cheng Xing had thought there were countless ways to succeed in life, and attending university wasn't the only one. But as time passed, he realized that not studying hard and missing out on university was indeed one of life's biggest regrets.

Though many had led fulfilling lives without going to university, finding success and happiness through other paths, some still regretted not having experienced university life during their youth.

High school was a time when romance was forbidden, and with the looming pressure of the college entrance examination, many students found their first loves in university. There, they made lifelong friends and met their first loves, not for any ulterior motive but for the innocence of youth.

High school romance wasn't guaranteed. Sometimes, the most intense emotions were left unspoken. Even if someone had feelings for someone else throughout those years, self-doubt often stopped them from expressing it. Fear of rejection and the delicate balance of friendship kept emotions hidden.

Maybe, years later, at a class reunion, fueled by nostalgia or liquid courage, one might confess those long-held feelings. But by then, life had moved on, and those emotions faded into distant memories.

Cheng Xing regretted that in his past life.

He regretted not attending university and missing out on a romance during those youthful years.

Even though he had been considered successful in his previous life, there was no way to buy back lost youth.

In truth, Cheng Xing hadn't even had a relationship during his school years, let alone gone to university.

Though he had pursued Chen Qing for six years in his past life, it had been one-sided. It wasn't truly a romance—it was just a crush. Romance, after all, had to be mutual.

Cheng Chuan and Deng Ying were both taken aback. Cheng Chuan put down his newspaper and asked, "Are you serious?"

"Yeah," Cheng Xing nodded, "I'm serious."

"Then what are you going to do?" Cheng Chuan asked.

"I'm planning to go to a cram school or hire a tutor. I've fallen behind in so many courses. If I don't get some help, it'll be tough to catch up," Cheng Xing explained.

At first, Cheng Xing had planned on attending a cram school, but now he had changed his mind.

"But whether I go to a cram school or hire a tutor, it's probably going to cost some money," Cheng Xing added.

"Money is not a problem. As long as you're serious about studying, we'll support you. We're just afraid you'll come up with some excuse to cheat us out of money like you did before," Cheng Chuan said, knowing his son all too well. Cheng Xing was known for his ability to fabricate excuses when he wanted something.

Though Cheng Chuan was still skeptical, he had noticed some improvement in his son over the past week. If Cheng Xing truly wanted to study hard, then they would support him, despite his past behavior.

A week ago, if Cheng Xing had said he wanted to study seriously, it would have been like hearing the sun rise in the west.

But Cheng Xing had indeed shown improvement, and if he was truly committed, they would back him.

Cheng Chuan finally said, "Forget about the cram school. It would be too much of a hassle, with all the running back and forth. We'll hire a tutor to come to the house and teach you. How does that sound?"

"Okay, Dad, that works," Cheng Xing smiled.