A couple of days ago an acquaintance of mine suffered a heart attack. He died right there and then since he wasn't taken to any medical facility immediately. He could've been saved. Endless outcomes you can draw out from this event.
ㅤBut the people around him if were a bit serious then this one possibility could have actually been a reality. The truth however is that he was surrounded by his bullies who had been playing with him for months and naturally him having a heart attack did not trigger any sympathetic emotions in them whatsoever.
ㅤAnybody with a healthy mind and good state of mental health would say that the bullies must rot in jail for their ignorance and ruthlessness. But these people will never put it in any other way. This acquaintance of mine did not ask or scream for help and collapsed on the scene right away according to everything seen and heard on CCTV.
ㅤThis acquaintance of mine wanted to die. This acquaintance of mine was suffering from depression and was in touch with me days before his death. He never hesitated to tell me his intentions — leaving evrything behind and enjoy the afterlife. The bullies helped him achieve it. How can anybody expect him to reach out for help when his ultimate goal was to die? What's the purpose of people fighting for 'justice' when wishes of the deceased have been fulfilled already? There's no point in it. Waste of energy. I'm happy this acquaintance of mine died if that's what he wanted.
ㅤBut on the other hand, the other version of the case, if the person struggled to survive and tried to break free from the race to death then the aftermath's different. People will protest, fight, and raise their voices against the accused.
ㅤForcefully taking someone's life is unjustifiable. If it is, then I don't need to know why and how. I will only live with my version of reasoning until I don't get to know what I want to know.
ㅤ"What is it that you want to know?" Ruby questions. I've been telling her all this and more for the past hour explaining how Murder always has two faces whether you agree with it or not. But the topic has shifted from my acquaintance to myself. Something inside me tells me to keep my mouth shut. But something else inside me tells me to open up, reveal myself to her.
ㅤI've known Ruby since forever. She's the only person I know in my school and besides her and my warden at the orphanage there's nobody out there who talks to me. There's nobody besides these two out there who wants to talk to me.
ㅤ"Hello?" Ruby snaps me back to reality. "Tell me what is it that you want to know about? If you can't tell me then I have to use my ways," Her words never failed to have an effect on me since she is the only girl I've ever properly interacted with since childhood. But if I tell her everything about my desire, the answers of the questions I seek then would it be helpful?
ㅤI stare into her blue eyes, my eyelids frowning with each minute. Something jumps inside me and I open my mouth, going against my previous plan.
ㅤ"Ruby… there's this one incident that happened when I was a child-" I pause. No. I will not. Never in a million years will I tell her the truth. I certainly don't want to make things problematic.
ㅤI get up from my seat and walk out of the classroom. School is the only place where I and Ruby meet. Otherwise I don't have my own house to invite her over nor can I leave the orphanage other than to go to school.
ㅤ"Where are you going?!" Ruby definitely wants to know my objective and no doubt she will never back off to help me but that is what I fear the most. Helping me is an invitation to death for her.
ㅤNever ever. Not until I stay alive. Not until I get a hold of what I want to know. I will never ever tell Ruby… that the only reason I'm alive is to know the truth behind my dead parents.
ㅤI consider them dead. They went missing 11 years ago when I was 5. There is plenty of evidence that they're dead but still nobody classifies them as deceased. It's a common human instinct to avoid reality and live in your own delusional realm. But I'm not like them. I know they're dead. And I want to know why.
ㅤThis is what makes me different.