'Therefore… You mean Eugene is coming here?'
Hannah Hamilton, who graduated from the same middle school as Cha Eugene, sat on the couch in front of the late-night TV for the first time in a while.
She was using the fact that she knew Cha Eugene in high school as an excuse to watch the program.
'Anyway, we met once a few years ago.'
In the TV program restaurant that sold hotteok, a Korean fusion snack.
-Um… have we met before? Middle School? Elementary school?
-Ah… It's Hannah Hamilton. I was in the same class as you in middle school.
-Ah~ Hannah! Nice to see you. How are you?
Cha Eugene, who still had the unique feeling of being a popular individual, surprisingly took the subculture KPOP as a job.
Recognizing his group at the time (now they call it a group, not a band!), she looked up the group's activities a few times.
It was becausee she had a strange affinity with a boy of the same age as her who fell into that subculture.
And despite being frightened by some cultural differences, she came this far.
'A heterosexual man in his 20s who dyed his hair pink.'
'… Cha Eugene did this too?? Anime magical girl?'
'They're such a good group that really care about each other…'
She was even watching their American variety shows while empathizing.
[MESS~MEEEESSS~]
A humorous primary color subtitle flowed on the screen. Hannah looked at it tremblingly.
'This program is funny, but I don't know why they're here.'
-TeStar shouldn't come out here!
-This is sadistic noxious crap that's no better than a third-rate reality show that harasses people who just want to make a name for themselves.
KPOP fans were crying out on the account. She honestly sympathized with them to some extent.
[Today's challenge is… Let's go! A dark, abandoned house… Can they hold out for 30 minutes in a red tube with strange sounds?]
[That's all! The moment you become a coward, lovely unicorn dolls pour out! You are a loser!]
In this way, it was ridiculed under the guise of challenges.
It arrogantly avoided ethical censorship because it was a self-righteous structure that made fun of those who challenged it, saying 'Of course, it is possible'.
[Boooo! It's complete garbage!]
[Didn't you just blink like you were really scared? Right? It's a failure. You're a loser!]
Sometimes there was no precise standard for punishment. The production team and MC just chose the timing that seemed to be the funniest for a penalty.
Even sometimes the MC himself was beaten.
So it was really funny.
To some extent, even for Hannah, who only occasionally watched clips on WeTube, the MC's giggles were as vivid as if drawn.
'So it's a longevity program.'
In any case, it was not suitable for those who had an image of maintaining dignity to some extent.
As a result, TeStar fans in the United States also complained, and the production team tried to make fun of it.
-Their company said 'first' that they would be honored to appear in person? (Emoji rolling eyes)
Later, even the MC joined them.
-Fresh and kind Asian boys… Cheer up (emoticon wearing sunglasses)
It was shit.
'They literally almost got into a fight.'
The stubborn, conservative, and a bit low-key MC engaged in a fiery war of nerves with the KPOP fandom.
However, the scary thing was that once the filming started, all comments from the production team were cut off.
'I guess TeStar will make it okay. Or not… …'
… It was really messed up.
To the extent that she shut her mouth thinking that 'that' MC crossed the line of jokes.
"Mmm."
Hannah took a deep breath and watched TV again.
The performer who jumped out of the coffin was filmed running away with his pants off as if he were hanging rainbow glitter and a unicorn.
[Loser~~]
[Actor Antonio Soltre is a cute cowardly pony, or teddy bear!]
TeStar shouldn't suffer such a terrible situation.
Still, the corner where TeStar appeared this time was, fortunately, a part where singers mainly appeared.
[Next… Our own street karaoke!]
The 'Street Karaoke' challenge corner.
[Various masterpieces carefully selected by the crew are arranged and played in various versions!]
[Can the artist challengers properly show off these masterpieces?]
At first glance, people might think that it didn't look quite professional rather than an absurd challenge, but…
It was an Illusion.
Viewers would soon realize that this arrangement was a prank that was downright ridiculous.
Besides, everything was on-the-fly, and it was naturally up to the production team to decide if it was digested properly.
'Ugh.'
Since the contestants were singers by profession, it would be funnier, and those who were subjected to it were more terrifying.
Besides, the penalty this time was terrible.
[Today's penalty is… Food Cannon!]
[We carefully prepared only the hottest restaurants on social networks! It's actually not even a penalty, is it?]
Puck!
"Ugh!"
She watched the crushed hamburgers go off like bombs and slam into the faces of the bewildered cast.
She almost laughed out of bewilderment.
'That's… That's a real shame!'
Wasn't that what someone saw when they were being bullied at school?
But the segment had already started briskly.
[The first song is ~ 'Counting ma green'!]
It had to be a strong, dark hip-hop song.
However, it was arranged as an amusement park march with an exaggerated pronunciation that could not be understood.
[Oh, my! It's lively and lovely, right~]
[Nanana nanana nanana nanana~]
Puck.
Puck.
Pupupupuck.
To the beat of cheerful trumpets, people were shot in the face by cannons.
It was a spectacle.
"Pooh!"
There was a person who was empty-minded until the interlude passed and got hit, and a person who tried to sing a line but failed because he missed the right timing.
They sang a few lines appropriately and were full of hope, but still got food slapped in their faces.
[Cast: What is this shit…]
Puck!
[Good gesture!]
"Phehehehe!"
She gritted her teeth and laughed. She couldn't help but laugh.
"Oh, please! This is evil!"
The problem was that TeStar was not visible even after two or three songs had passed.
Even if they had come out for only one second, viewers would have realized it. How could they miss the intense scene of getting hit with a cannon for food?
'No way… editing?'
Fortunately or unfortunately, that wasn't the case.
This was because TeStar appeared after more than 10 minutes and until one advertisement placed between the segments passed by.
Seven young men stood on the street like the rest of the cast.
The spotlight shined on them.
[That's right. They are treated preferentially because they are part of the cast of
With the crazy narration of the MC, the first song, a sunny march, appeared again.
"Ah, ah…"
From now on, they were going to show TeStar fancy food.
With that thought in mind, Hannah curled up and watched TV.
Cha Eugene, who was looking at the microphone fixed in front of the camera with his hands in his jumper with a sullen face, smiled.
And right away, grabbed the intro of the marching song and went in.
[Cast: NANA, NANA, NANANNNNNA!]
"Uh."
And TeStar started walking to the beat. Parade-style choreographed steps.
Then, naturally, they followed the song while checking the lyrics that floated under the camera.
On their faces were the bright, capitalistic smile of amusement park workers.
[Cast: The taste of money~ I can't stand it, I have it~]
The lyrics talking about money and the accompaniment of an amusement park harmoniously blended and made people laugh.
"Ha ha ha!"
And, in their own way, they made plausible parade gestures one by one, and took turns admirably holding up the first verse!
[Yes, whatever. Lucky guys.]
The sound of the audience bursting into laughter was inserted behind the voice of the MC, who had lost his temper because he had failed to give the penalty, so it was even funnier.
However, TeStar's stature did not end there.
[Next song!]
Next, a trendy R&B band song flowed smoothly…
Instead, it was made with extremely high-pitched heavy metal.
"Ugh."
How many people were so frightened by this new height that they couldn't even enter and got slapped in the face?
But this time, Park Moondae, a member with white hair, casually put his head into the microphone in front of the camera.
And he opened his mouth.
[YEAAAAAAAAAAAAH!]
"… !!"
He was shouting.
His expression didn't change, and he picked up that high-pitched voice.
His neck was red and blood vessels were popping out, but his expressionless expression and high-pitched impact made it not as noticeable.
And after that, the other members naturally shook their heads violently.
Oh oh oh!
Three was a slightly exaggerated taste, so it looked better. The sound of the audience inserted into the screen screamed and cheered.
[… Again?]
[Yeah, well, they're really great singers. I can clap too. Clap clap clap. Did you hear?]
The audience laughed again.
But soon, power returned to the timid MC's voice.
[Then the next song should come out… Everyone knows, but it's really funny if you fail it at the end!]
"Huh?"
And a new accompaniment that had never appeared before showed up.
The latest disco song with a popping beat that was currently on the Billboard charts…
It was a ballet arrangement.
"…!"
"Pop!"
It was already so ridiculously funny, but it was funnier because there was no hole for TeStar to escape to!
[Haha!]
However, one of the TeStar members quietly came forward from behind.
A pretty young man with well-groomed black hair. He stood cross-legged casually, then gracefully lifted one leg and turned.
"… !!"
[What??]
A fouetté.
(TN: fouetté: a movement performed with a circular whipping motion of the raised leg to the side)
And at that moment, the six people in the back exchanged glances and started humming.
A composition that properly followed the main melody and accompaniment.
A cappella.
[… Oh Lord.]
"Oh my god."
And at the right time, they could ride the accompaniment and find the intro!
[Cast: I can take you to the night sky]
The audience cheered on screen.
Reversals were always fun.
After doing all these crazy things, they even received applause from passers-by on the street.
[Why are they applauding!]
[What is this… Wait, are you all gone? How much did you guys pay for this?]
When the narration of the MC, who was unexpectedly caught by the camera in reverse, became angry, the audience burst into laughter again.
Cha Eugene, who was giving a leisurely high-five, smiled round and round and nodded his head.
[Cast: Did we get paid?]
[No!! I mean you… Ahh! I'm going crazy!]
"Ha ha ha!"
In line with Hannah's laughter, the microphone in front of the camera shook like a pissed-off puppet.
[This… yes! This is practically a failure!]
[It's not good because it's too good. Right?]
TeStar looked at each other and smiled slightly. And the member with white hair replied calmly.
[Cast: No. I don't know.]
[It's a failure because it's not fun, it's a comedy show!!]
[Cast: Hmm.]
Then, instead of replying and continuing the segment, TeStar nodded while exchanging glances once again.
'What?'
And Cha Eugene opened his mouth.
[Cast: OK. Hit us all and shoot us.]
"… !!"
Pop!
And indeed the restaurant cannon was fired.
Not once, but many times. In everyone's face.
Puck pupupupupuck!
"Aww!"
Hannah watched it with her mouth wide open.
TeStar's appearance became as miserable as the previous guests.
[Cast: Ouch.]
Cha Eugene, who had bolognaise sauce dripping down his forehead, wiped it off with his finger.
Even so, he smiled.
[Cast: It's delicious.]
[Oh my god.]
[Cast: We appeared because it looked the most fun. It's a really awesome experience.]
[Please turn it off. Hurry.]
[Cast: Yes. Have a good night, everyone.]
[Cast: Good night~]
The members smiled and walked leisurely out of the camera, wiping their faces with cloth or hands.
'Wow… '
They weren't humble at all, they were full of confidence and sure of their own worlds. They weren't unlucky.
It was all the conditions this world expected from an artist.
Individuality! Ability! Star quality!
Besides, didn't it match the image of the band in Cosmic Gunner? They were almost themselves!
[What… What… Play some other contestants! This is not funny!]
And the screen ended with the performers who could not keep up with the ballet arrangement again and were hit by the restaurant cannon.
But everyone who watched knew it. The ending was actually the scene where the band was walking away earlier.
"Wow."
Literally, if they wanted to make an impression, it was a great success.
And sure enough, as soon as the broadcast ended, a new post was uploaded to the MC's account.
---------==
[I swear on my house, I didn't manipulate it. What a crazy band. #HelpMe]
---------==
"Wow!"
It was a declaration of surrender.
'It's a mess!'
She unknowingly searched not only for KPOP accounts, but also for people who watched today's program to pour out their impressions on their accounts.
And then she thought…
'They're like this now, but they're going back to Korea in a cool way, right?'
Yes, if it was Cha Eugene, he was a person who would remain like that.
So would his group!
• * *
We were praising one guy like crazy.
Who was it?
"Seon Ahyeon! Seon Ahyeon!"
"Ohhh!!"
"Seon Ahyeon did it all!"
Of course, it was Seon Ahyeon! This guy did an ad-lib that we didn't even plan for!
I'd be honest. We cheated a bit.
We had already organized all the candidate songs these guys would use and studied the expected answers.
It was something I had been doing every day since
It was a longevity corner that had been dragged over 100 times, so the references were clear, and the answer to the songs came out right away.
'These bastards use half the latest popular songs and half the popular songs from 10 years ago.'
Since the program had been running for a long time, I thought they would have fixed the range of songs to be selected so that the songs would not repeat themselves.
And the arrangements also came with statistics.
1. Arrangements used in the program for the past three years, in order of frequency.
2. Assigning weight to newly released arrangements in the latest year.
3. However, arrangements used in the latest 3 episodes are excluded.
After picking out the song patterns and arrangement patterns like that, it was a breeze.
-Is this funny?
-It's not funny!
-Okay, they're not going to use a country arrangement here. Pass.
It was because we only needed to be checked by S+ grade, the sensibility from an American, and match the arrangements.
'We covered more than half with this.'
So, under the leadership of Kim Raebin, I had already selected all the expected arrangements, and after deciding who would share the main role for each song, we appeared.
However…
'Why are these crazy assholes doing ballet!'
I guessed the opera, but I didn't expect these fucking bastards to throw in an unsung piece of music.
However, it became a jackpot because Seon Ahyeon used a real ballet move.
'If it wasn't for this guy, things would have turned into shit.'
This was because it was meaningful to clear the given songs while concepting them neatly from one to ten.
Embarrassment was the worst move, and it was the worst thing to do to prevent an embarrassing situation.
Everyone was making a fuss when they played deliberately.
"No, but what? I know Ahyeon said that he transferred to dance, but how were you able to do that right there!"
"B-before, yes, I prepared for a presentation in middle school…"
"It's amazing that you remember that, it's a jaw-dropping event!"
"No… B-because I'm used to this… … ."
He wasn't accepting any excuses.
Anyway, when it was time to move, Seon Ahyeon came down to the floor with a reddened face while receiving applause.
"I…"
But even in the middle of it, he didn't talk to me.
'Hmm.'
Roughly similar to when the concept of this album hit the jackpot, his face was young with anticipation.
I got it.
'He wants to hear the story.'
It had been like this before, and it seemed that he judged himself that he seemed capable enough to listen to the story that seemed to be a big deal to me.
And in fact, qualifications were not a problem, but it was true that this guy carried the show.
'It's like delaying it even more.'
I looked back at Keun Sejin. The guy also nodded.
Then…
Okay. Fuck. Let's open my mouth!
By the way, it was a stupid idea that came from an idiot.