The buzz of people under the stage, the noise of the equipment, and the flickering lights of the cheering rods stimulated all five senses.
I was back.
"… …"
Someone grabbed my shoulder. When I turned my head, I saw Keun Sejin and the faces around me.
This guy was laughing, but his grip was getting stronger. It seemed that it was this guy who called me earlier.
'I must have stumbled.'
When I debuted after
I didn't know if it was a similar situation, but the difference in the time I felt was so big.
Suddenly, I quickly scanned the faces of the guys standing behind me.
'It's been a long time.'
From Ryu Chungwoo to Bae Sejin, who stood on the outskirts. In fact, I met Bae Sejin a few days ago, but it was surprising that he had a different impression from the guy at the beginning of his debut.
'I've seen it for a long time.'
It had been 4 years.
As a student, it was no different than going to college together after graduating from the same high school.
I came this far by forming a team with six strangers my age. It was a rare experience.
However, I had an irrational thought that I could not have made a better team than this even if I had chosen them with my own eyes with a status window.
It was a rare thing.
I laughed in my heart when I saw Kim Raebin with his pupils shaking.
'It's as he said.'
-Although we did not meet for the purpose of friendship, I believe that a true sense of solidarity can grow within!
There was more to this than simply wanting to keep doing it because of the good results.
And the same went for the lightsticks shaking in front of me.
I nodded slightly to the guys standing behind me, then turned to the front again.
People who supported TeStar.
And, as TeStar's Park Moondae said, the one in front of me was me.
The conclusion that came out after going through all those situations was still that.
"… …"
I couldn't do this. Perhaps because of the words I heard in the imaginary world just before, my head struggled with my own emotions.
'It's embarrassing.'
It was then.
All of a sudden, a text popped up on the prompter in front of me.
-Please express your feelings quickly.
"… !"
Yes, my feelings.
I came to my senses. The fact that I had something to do right now raised my head to reality.
I was frozen for about 3 or 4 seconds. It had already been a long time since I'd been in the middle of an awards ceremony, but I was going to have a good time.
'Still, it's our first grand prize after having such good results, so I hope they understand.'
I smiled and grabbed the mic.
"Did I take too long? Sorry. I'm nervous."
Small laughter erupted from the audience.
I didn't think it was a funny remark… Well, they accepted it well, so I moved on.
"When I look back at the moments I was active in TeStar, it seems like it was a very long time, and it seems like I debuted just yesterday."
I took a deep breath, then spoke again.
"It was like that moment when I decided to become an idol."
It was a journey that started because of an absurd threat of sudden death.
"Honestly, as an outsider, I wasn't sure or expecting how far I could go. Just… I thought I could do it, so I appeared on the program."
I wouldn't have thought of doing it without the sudden death threat. But…
Right before I came to my senses, I remembered what I had said to Keundal.
-I didn't know that I wanted to be an idol either, but I guess I did.
I could imagine in a very specific way the perspective of the person taking pictures of me from under this podium, avoiding security.
Because I had done it a lot.
And at that time, I did not bother to trace the cause of my satisfaction. Because I couldn't imagine the sight of looking down directly from the stage beyond that point of view.
"But after meeting these members and meeting the fans, TeStar came all the way here."
But what if standing on the stage in person was more genuine and stimulating than watching the stage from the audience?
That… What I did as a data collector was exactly the vicarious satisfaction.
And if I thought that finding this real pleasure was actually thanks to my 'infinite potential'… It was an illusion.
'It's too much.'
Numerous variables came into play. And I wasn't the only one who moved that variable.
Because idols are a group.
"Regardless of this award, I think it was a good thing that I tried to become an idol at that time…I'm very happy."
I didn't expect such embarrassing words to come out of my mouth, but maybe everyone would understand since it was a grand prize after all.
"I believe the members would think so too."
I put my arm around Seon Ahyeon, who was standing next to me.
"… !"
'… Why does he look frightened?'
I thought he would take it naturally because the atmosphere was burning, but he almost looked embarrassed.
But it wasn't a hateful look, so I looked around and said what I had to say.
"Thank you."
"… …"
Then, a strange look as if they were about to cry began to spread on their faces, and naturally, something like a game ceremony began to happen.
Encouragement and a sense of achievement for having worked hard.
'Oh my god.'
In the audience seats, the lightsticks shook like crazy.
I accepted being one of the seven professionals hugging each other.
And I was thinking of another person.
'Did he go in safely?''
I finished my last words between their arms, thinking of the guy who was probably watching us on TV.
"Thank you so much for awarding me."
It was a general thank you.
• * *
Fanfare burst out with the aim of quickly ending our speeches and asking for seats to be vacated, and we went backstage holding the trophy.
As soon as the award ceremony was over, our stage continued after a brief preparation time.
That was probably what the first grand prize placement was for.
I thought silently as I moved with the trophy still in my hand.
'We must give up the next award ceremony unconditionally.'
It was because when reason came back, I realized that I had been overexcited.
'Next time I'll make those who haven't been able to say a speech prepare separately…'
But I couldn't keep calculating. This was because an urgent question came before I even arrived at the place of change.
First of all, Keun Sejin.
"Park Moondae, are you okay?"
"… ?"
"You just almost fell. If you feel unwell, tell me. Let's get painkillers and leave."
That was why he grabbed my shoulder. I understood his behavior.
'I'll start by grasping the situation.'
"Did I almost fall?"
"I-I thought you were about to collapse…"
Seon Ahyeon muttered with a blue face. I seemed to have staggered more than expected.
'Oh, my.'
I'd have to see if this excuse worked. I sighed first and rubbed the back of my neck.
"Sorry. Since this is our first grand prize… I couldn't even remember what to say, so I think it was because I was nervous."
"… You said it was because you were nervous?"
"You… ?"
Why were these bastards so suspicious?
I answered as calmly as possible.
"Yes."
"Wait a minute."
"Manager, please give me a thermometer!"
Doubts rained down like bombs. I think I knew roughly what my impression was during that time.
I raised both hands.
"I'm fine. Just… I really like it."
I looked around at the faces of those guys who seemed to be a little shocked, and smiled.
"Because it's the first grand prize. I know how to be moved."
"Park Moondae…"
Astonishment disappeared, and warmth permeated. I thought this would work because this was also everyone else's first grand prize too.
"… Okay. Things like that happen, too."
"It's belatedly said, but I think it was a wonderful acceptance speech!"
Good. All the weak-minded people had passed.
'… Well, it wasn't a lie.'
It was true that I felt good. I handed over the trophy to those who were intoxicated with the grand prize atmosphere.
"Let's fight next year too."
"Yes, yes!"
"Good!"
Ryu Chungwoo seemed to be enjoying the atmosphere with a face that said he was happy with the teamwork, and ended his remarks calmly.
"I'll take your temperature anyway."
"… …"
He could do whatever he wanted.
I changed into an outfit and was judged with a normal body temperature. It was absurd, but it seemed like I had overcome some kind of hurdle.
"13 minutes left~"
But at the same time, I realized the real problem.
'Damn it.'
I used my head and finally stabbed Seon Ahyeon.
"Ahyeon-ah."
"Uh, huh?"
And I spoke quietly.
"Can we quickly check the revised choreography right now…"
"Moondaemoondae, why? Can't you remember the choreography?"
He was a quick-witted guy.
"… After the speech, my tension was relieved, so I want to double-check."
"Ah, that's right."
It wasn't a lie.
'Rather than dancing for a few days, I haven't sung any songs.'
There was a year-end one-time revised choreography that I practiced for just one week right before I entered Ryu Gunwoo's body, and I was going to use it now.
I was breaking out in a cold sweat because I was afraid I wouldn't be able to properly remember it right now on stage.
"Anyway, let's do it."
"Yes! L-let's do it right away… !"
Fortunately, there was no time, so instead of other conversations, the choreography lesson started right away.
Once the two dance line members were helping me, the angle was instantly established.
"Here you kick, spin… Hit your toe with a point and go over…"
"Moondae was half a beat fast, be careful!"
"Yes."
"I know that choreography best. Hyung, I'll show you!"
"Eugene, would you like to go get some drinks?"
So, with the help of the others, I completely relearned the choreography in 3 minutes.
It was comfortable to live alone, but the feeling of being with many people was not bad.
• * *
This evening, the prestigious music awards ceremony was being broadcasted for the first time at the end of this year.
-Park Moondae, I think he almost collapsed.
-Attention seeker ㅋㅋ
-Isn't the schedule too tight? I think there are aftereffects of the car accident. He needs to be careful.
They seemed thrilled. Look at them running like a pack of dogs.
Looking at the real-time comments where expectations for humanity disappeared, the office worker who took pictures of Lee Sejin and Park Moondae, the twin Homma, clicked her tongue.
But this was a normal thing, and something else bothered her more.
'I can't believe he's feeling that emotional.'
Park Moondae has handled everything rationally like a knife until now, but only this time he acted as if he couldn't stand the overwhelming feeling.
Before the acceptance speech, he couldn't think of words to say, stumbled, looked back at the members, and the editorial was long… He did everything he wouldn't normally do.
She didn't know if there was a story or if the object was so meaningful…
'It wasn't bad.'
The twin homma nodded, saying that she could understand why Lee Sejin had to concede to Park Moondae.
Since Park Moondae was a calm image to the public, it seemed like he had a fourth dimension now, so even shaking like this would come as a charm rather than annoyance.
It was no different from showing the public a scene with an effect similar to crying at a concert.
In fact, by the time Park Moondae's speech was over, the reaction to the comments had changed quite a bit.
-It's a little bit messy.
-Park Moondae, he really looks like a real puppy now?
-ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ
-TeStar has had a hard time until now…
-I'm moved, you bastards.
Furthermore, even the last act that seemed to confirm the members' affection for their group…
It seemed that there was something about that series of flows that stimulated people's heartstrings.
'This kind of thing works well.'
A collection of reactions from singers who won first place on music charts for the first time since their debut was not wandering on WeTube for nothing.
People liked the fall of a star, but they also liked when stars couldn't beat their emotions.
To suit the taste of such people, TeStar's emotions came raw.
The twin homma nodded while being quite satisfied.
'Good job.'
Park Moondae didn't really calculate that, and he was expecting a very bad reaction.
In any case, contrary to his expectations, TeStar's impressions of the grand prize were expected to be successfully discussed as a touching speech of the award.
The awards season was only just beginning.
And this season, TeStar's impact was going to be huge.