Even at the conference room on the day of, Kim Raebin was clearly nervous.
-It's okay Raebin, you've done well so far.
-Of course~ Even if it doesn't work, that means they don't have ears! But there's no way that will happen?
-That's right, I like Kim Raebin's song!
-… Thank you
At least after listening to the encouragement from the others, his complexion improved a little.
But when they opened the lid…
- Then, we're going to go with number 2, 4, 5, like this? Okay. Then our Raebin's number is…
-… Number 3.
-… !
His arrangement ended up not even in the rankings.
Literally, it was eliminated.
It was funny to explain it complacently like this, but it was something no one could have guessed.
'Kim Raebin's arrangement was eliminated…'
This was because up until now, this guy's arrangements have been put into the final drafts to the point where it was okay to call them a 'must'.
Of course, it had never been fully adopted. However, at least a crucial part of the draft was reflected, and he was fully involved in the final work.
So, the members also talked about the next work as if it were a habit.
-Now, our Raebin will do a great job arranging music for concerts~
However, this was the first failure since debut.
'That's also because he couldn't sleep for several days and hung on.'
"… …"
I swiped through the material for the 'Concert Arrangement Plan Blind Voting Results', which also arrived via e-mail, and turned off the screen.
Then I folded my arms and leaned back.
'There must be several reasons.'
That the direction was different, that the AR team poured in good drafts because it suited their taste, or that they had plenty of time to work.
But why was it just now?
'It's no different from pushing Kim Raebin into a slump at the most crucial moment.'
However, it was foolish to overturn the results of the vote right away.
There was no way he'd be happy with his personality, and he couldn't lower the quality just to be mindful.
'It's just aggravating the situation without any benefit.'
But it was foolish to leave it as it was.
"… … ."
I got up from my seat.
After the morning concert meeting, I quietly entered the room to visit the guy who was stuck.
But I didn't have to go far. Kim Raebin was sitting on the sofa in the living room.
Next to him was Cha Eugene, who was quite resolute, Seon Ahyeon, who had a worried expression, and Keun Sejin, who looked puzzled.
Cha Eugene held out something to Kim Raebin.
"Kim Raebin, eat this."
Kim Raebin was wearing a coat and socks. They seemed to have caught the guy trying to get out of the dorm.
"I'm not going to eat. I'm going to the studio for a little bit…"
"Why the studio?"
"… !"
The guy I was talking with turned to me. Kim Raebin swallowed his saliva, and he muttered in a low voice.
"If I don't work on correcting my shortcomings, I won't be able to produce results that people will be satisfied with in my next attempt…"
"Do better next time, Kim Raebin! It might not work once. There's no problem, it's okay!"
However, Kim Raebin was neither annoyed nor sympathetic to Cha Eugene's words.
"I'm not sure if it'll be okay or not."
He just muttered quietly.
"But since I failed this time, I can say that the probability of it not going well has increased. So, in order for the probability to decrease, I need to prepare more… …"
"… …"
After a short silence passed…
"Raebin, why don't you take a break?"
"Th-that's right. We still have a lot of time left until the concert… You need to conserve your stamina… !"
Words poured out in an instant.
They must have thought that something would happen if he was sent to the studio as it was.
'I think so too.'
I didn't know if he'd be angry or resentful, but it was like an obsession. Keun Sejin sat down next to him and patted him on the shoulder.
"Don't monkeys sometimes fall from trees? Let's take a break while thinking about our stage~ They say rest is important too?"
(TN: "Even monkeys fall from trees" Is a Korean proverb that describes how just like a monkey who spends its whole life climbing trees can fall off trees once in a while, even someone who is skilled in their profession or very good at something can make mistakes as well)
This… I'd have to help.
I opened my mouth.
"You've been running without resting so far, so you should rest your head. You'll also be able to relax your muscles too, since you haven't rested at all."
"Go and take a rest."
In the end, Kim Raebin reluctantly nodded. I held back a sigh.
The timing was bad.
• * *
And days passed.
Kim Raebin did not go to the studio as promised, but his complexion was still not good. He still seemed to be reeling from his first failure.
Still, after spending a busy time filming promotional videos for the tour, I was relaxed again because of some stages that had not yet been proposed.
'It's quiet.'
Maybe I couldn't adapt properly to the changed schedule, but my body woke up early in the morning.
'Should I drink some water?'
I left the room quietly so as not to wake my roommate.
And I found something unexpected. Light leaking from outside the porch of the living room.
The light source was too close because it came from beyond the window. It looked like an electronic light...
'Invasion?'
There was no way there'd be a crazy bastard climbing down a rope from the rooftop… Well, there could be.
I approached cautiously without limiting the scope of my thinking. I kept an emergency contact network open so that I could report it in case of an emergency.
But what was out there… There was a person, but not a stranger.
"Kim Raebin."
"… !"
Kim Raebin, who was sitting on the tiles, looked back in amazement.
"Hy-hyung."
He was wearing headphones and there was a program on his laptop screen… Anyone could see he was working.
This kid secretly came out to the porch at dawn and was squatting and working.
"What are you doing?"
"That is…"
"I'm adjusting the song."
Was this why he looked so tired during the day?
His complexion could not be restored. This stupid guy…
I closed the balcony door and strode in and stood in front of him.
"I…"
Kim Raebin hurriedly tried to clear the seat, but accidentally pressed the keyboard.
And the laptop tab changed.
Kim Raebin was… He was monitoring at the same time as he was working.
[Results of blind voting for the concert arrangement plan]
A group email with the same subject as the one I saw a few days ago.
'This…'
Looking at Kim Raebin's recent appearance, I didn't think he had a productive thought to get motivated by watching it again.
He must have been shocked enough.
And… That email wasn't just about the voting results.
In order to get a reasonable combination direction, people wrote anonymously why each number was selected and why it was not selected.
But from the tone, it was easy to guess.
-Number 4 is the most fun
-Number 2 and 5 are smooth and good to listen to~ Go for it!^^
-All are good, but number 5 is the most natural. I didn't choose the 1st and 3rd because I thought it would burn my taste.
"…"
The members also voted together.
… And, I also put one comment for each number there. Of course, even under Kim Raebin's candidate song.
- The sound is too much.
"…"
For the past few days, Kim Raebin had been reading the peer reviews over and over in silence.
And among those words, there was not a single person who liked Kim Raebin's song.
'Fuck… really.'
Could it be that he was working to reflect this, at this dawn?
"Listen."
I sat in front of him and made eye contact.
"The majority is not always right. Actually, the public might like your arrangement more."
"… …"
"You don't have to worry too much about this result. It's just a concert arrangement."
Kim Raebin suddenly replied.
"However, hyung also judged that my arrangements were of poor quality."
"… …"
"The feedback that says the sound is 'too much'… Isn't Moondae hyung the one who wrote that?"
"I'm not a composer, so you don't have to believe my words unconditionally. Your senses more than anyone else's words…"
"No!"
Kim Raebin lowered his head.
"Hyung's judgment of songs has always been objective and good. I've never missed it before, but this time I didn't arrange it properly…"
"… …"
It felt like getting hit in the head.
This guy was more shocked by this.
'He was noticing that my judgment on songs was particularly good.'
It was thanks to the characteristic, 'Grabbing ears (A)'. He probably didn't realize it was something unusual like a skill, but he recognized it right away because I had a good sense of music.
- Moondae hyung's choice is always great.
He thought that he was criticized by the evaluator who always evaluated songs with neutrality.
'Hoo…'
The taste was bitter.
I wouldn't lie. In fact, even now, I didn't think Kim Raebin's arrangement was very good.
'It was too typical for Kim Raebin.'
I thought that the AR team was the one who created it.
And since the trait was what I got from the status window, it was definitely guaranteed that… … …
'Wait, status window?'
At that moment, suddenly, a few cases I experienced passed through my head.
'… … .'
I called up Kim Raebin's status window.
I hoped it wasn't the case, but there was a word I hadn't seen there that was added at the very end.
!Status Abnormality: Recall
Damn.
[Recall]
: Lost in place.
Counteraction of 'Attribute: Maestro (S)'. Sensory deterioration.
"Yeah, but… By it being too much, do you mean that the song has too much structure? So, a little less here… Can you tell me what this sounds like? Is it better than before? Is it better?"
"…"
This… this wouldn't work
It was clear that this guy was completely out of his mind.
I get it now. The reason Kim Raebin seemed solid against criticism was that he was able to come up with an alternative right away.
But now it seemed that his system had completely collapsed. He was dependent.
'Fuck…'
I received the headphones he gave me, but I didn't wear them. I asked him a question instead.
"… How does it sound to you?"
I heard Kim Raebin whimper in a low voice.
"I do not know… I tried to reflect as much as possible on what people said they liked and produce results that would be expected… I don't know if I did it right or not."
"Do what you want to do."
"What I want to do is not concretely executed…"
I knew what this meant.
'The balance is broken.'
I knew that this guy had a humble side that sincerely tried to accept other people's opinions.
But at the same time, he had faith in his abilities.
An instinctive level of conviction that if they like it, it's good, and if they don't like it, it's not good.
Therefore, even if feedback is given, it had been absorbed based on one's own judgment, whether it was interpreted by itself or not.
A style of doing what one understands.
'It's a basic personality.'
It was like how he interpreted T-Holic's remarks as it being similar to a family on his own.
But this time, things were a little different.
When reviews that were better than expected poured in like crazy from an unspecified number of people, he was overwhelmed by the direct fire.
'Rather, he lost his confidence.'
The thought that he shouldn't disappoint, and the pressure to produce perfect results destroyed the joy.
There, the personality of his pace was lost, so the song had no personality.
However, when he received harsh criticism, he was completely embarrassed and overly concerned about the evaluation. Because it was the first 'failure of ability' in this guy's life.
'It's a vicious cycle.'
I held back the swearing.
And after calming the guy who was about to burst into tears, I confiscated the laptop.
"Stop this for now. Even if it's not this, you have a lot of work to do and you're a talented guy. Let it go."
"… …"
"I'm not saying this because I don't think you can do it, but if you do this and get insomnia, bigger troubles will happen."
"Once I finish one…"
"No."
I confiscated his laptop. And in conflict, he spoke.
"… If you're doing it for fun, it's not my business to interfere, but right now it's ruining your condition. You can't even sleep."
"… …"
Kim Raebin lowered his head.
I tapped him on the shoulder, only to realize that I was incompetent at this sort of thing.
'Fuck.'
A countermeasure was needed.
• * *
Even after that dawn, Kim Raebin faithfully participated in the schedule.
But the witty feeling from before was shattered.
And one of the guys who noticed it found the reason in my room.
"Park Moondae, is that his laptop?"
Keun Sejin spoke seriously.
"I had to do it. He was having a hard time."
"… …"
After shaking my head roughly, I answered a beat late.
A solution I had been grinding and polishing for days.
"Then, let's get a mountain cabin."
"… ? What?"
I wasn't kidding.
I remembered Kim Raebin's 'Abnormal Status'.
A counteraction of the Maestro's characteristic that increased the production speed of the song, which could be seen as almost industrial.
Kim Raebin's exceptional senses being deteriorated.
'In the end, he was obsessed with performance and efficiency, so there was a reaction.'
Then it was simple.
We had to do some non-productive creations that had nothing to do with TeStar's performance.
So, I started planning a healing course with garbage-like efficiency that I had never considered in my life.
It was a training camp for self-development.
"Let's just… Go to the mountains."
Not just a destination.