Chapter 284
A cold sweat broke out.
No, it was the sweat shed while hiking, but it might have felt cold because of the situation.
Because it was completely shitty.
'A plane accident?'
It was the first time I had heard of it.
'Organize… I must organize the situation first.'
There was no way for me to find out exactly why Park Moondae's parents died.
… It was because Park Moondae had already removed everything and organized his belongings.
Only the parents' names and ages could be confirmed, but just in case, I searched for articles by region of residence, first name, and last name several times, but no accident came out.
'Then, it's a common event that won't become a big topic…'
It reminded me of a traffic accident. So, I let someone else misunderstand like that too.
For example, Ryu Chungwoo.
-I brought up the aftermath of a traffic accident… It must have sounded indifferent.
It was because I thought that the probability was high, and even if it wasn't, there was no one to prove it.
However, breaking through the odds, a completely new accident emerged as the cause.
And I… Fuck, I rode airplanes fine and even went skydiving.
"… …"
Damn.
Realizing that there was still water in my mouth, I swallowed.
The canteen was almost empty. It sounded like I could hear the sound from the electronic watch on my wrist.
It was the time I delayed until I answered.
- Tick.
'Excuses… There is nothing reasonably useful.'
In fact, it was a dilemma.
The car accident, the fire, and the overreaction to Ryu Chungwoo's accident all matched so exquisitely with the story of 'Ryu Gunwoo'.
And either way, it didn't hurt to say something that had already been confirmed as a fact.
'I'm almost certain of this guy now.'
That was a story he came up with after reviewing it a few times after figuring out that my words and actions and even Park Moondae's past didn't match at all.
I slowly closed the canteen and quickly shook my head.
Ryu Gunwoo and Park Moondae.
- Tick.
"… …"
Okay. If I hypothesized as realistically as possible, was there anything I could draw out?
'All I have to do is add one more psychiatric disease to amnesia.'
The psychopathological explanation that Park Moondae mistook Ryu Gunwoo's situation for his own.
I could say that I was confused in the process of recovering my memories because I was greatly helped by 'Ryu Gunwoo' and had a lot of emotional exchanges.
'However… The moment I make an excuse with this, wouldn't I get sent to a hospital?'
It was at the level of activity suspension. This… Fuck, it would be better to talk about the status window.
'No, let's explain that there is a status window that is not visible to others? What bullshit.'
It would be fortunate if this was only misunderstood as a delusion.
'Either way, only the spirit and the ending are visible.'
I rejected all the ideas.
- Tick.
In the meantime, time was running out.
Ryu Chungwoo was still looking this way. There was no countdown when I could feel his gaze.
'This bastard brought me to the top on purpose.'
I had run out of stamina, and there were no other guys, and he had driven it to the point where there were no other factors to ease the situation.
And there was a limit to the time now, but I couldn't come up with a particularly amazing countermeasure in my head.
'Fuck, I can't think of anything.'
It was all blocked.
- Tick.
I couldn't. I wanted to scream.
I could say, 'I don't remember the plane accident, only the fire caused by an explosion, and a vague image of a moving accident remains… .' But the other guy spoke first.
"I can't help it if it's difficult to talk."
"… … !"
"Tell me if you'd like to."
Ryu Chungwoo said this in a calm tone, then put his canteen in his bag.
And he lightly turned his back.
"Then, shall we go down?"
That was it. Ryu Chungwoo moved slowly.
I shut my mouth and followed him down the mountain.
But the tension remained. Because I knew the answer was just delayed.
Besides, now I had to come up with a reason why I couldn't answer right away.
'This is driving me crazy.'
That was how the fucking uncomfortable dorm room life began.
• * *
And after a few days…
"You… What are you doing?"
It was 2 AM. Bae Sejin, who came out to drink water, saw me sitting on the sofa in the living room and almost fell over.
"I can't sleep."
"Then… You can go in and lie down."
"I don't want to."
Bae Sejin looked at me with his mouth wide open, and I turned away from his gaze.
It must be ridiculous that I touched the baton with him.
However, in this situation, I wondered if there would be a person with enough nerves to enter the room and go to bed comfortably at the same time.
After being pointed out by my roommate about the contradictions in my life.
And the ominous serenity of not even mentioning the topic for days.
'It's not the eye of a typhoon.'
I would rather be the crazy guy who would be accused of lying every time he opened his mouth. What was he thinking about?
'Damn it.'
I sighed and leaned back on the sofa.
Still, sleeping in the living room would be too obvious, so I thought about going in when my head cooled down and became dull.
'It seems that procrastinating at the level of sleep only works if you use your brain.'
But Bae Sejin seemed to have had a different idea.
He looked at me with a mysterious expression, then changed to a face that looked like he realized something.
And asked with a slightly expectant face.
"Park Moondae, you and me… Would you like to change rooms?"
Hey.
"No, it's not that I don't want to use my room, it's because you look bad!"
I could see his intentions.
I thought about it for a while, then held my breath. And I shook my head.
"I have no intention of changing."
"… Is that so?"
"Yes. Well, I'II be fine with it."
It should be fine.
If we made a comeback and shoot content after being in this state, it would be smashed again. It was just that the summer package's nightmare would build up like this.
'So I have to look for a solution.'
There was no method. I needed an explanation that Ryu Chungwoo could understand.
I put my head on the sofa. The taste was bitter.
Bae Sejin drank a glass of water as intended, and then sneaked to the side.
"Ryu Chungwoo… He's a good guy."
"… Yes. I know."
"Oh, yes. You also! A good guy!"
"… … ."
He was about to wake someone up.
Bae Sejin lowered his volume, and after clearing his throat a few times, he spoke in a quieter voice.
"Although there are people who don't get along well… I'm saying this because you don't seem to be like that."
"… …"
"Just tell him honestly if you feel uncomfortable with him. Don't stay out in the living room."
I sighed a little, then smiled.
"It sounds like advice from experience."
"Yes."
I thought he would be surprised, but Bae Sejin unexpectedly nodded seriously.
"It's because I'm more comfortable in the living room, but you don't seem to be very comfortable in the living room."
"… …"
"You want to get along well with Chungwoo. Then he… he's a bit of a softie, so he'll listen when you tell him."
I was sorry, but it was the opposite situation. He'd make me uncomfortable.
I shook my head. Even if I said something like this, it was like putting this guy in a situation that was difficult to understand.
I replied back nicely to end it there.
"I will try. Thank you for your help."
"Well, well, I'm glad that's the case. Goodnight."
"Yes. Have a good night too."
Bae Sejin walked into the room with his shoulders straight. He must have thought he had solved one thing.
Was this because he acted as a hyung?
Seeing that, strangely, my heart felt a little lighter. I laughed and suddenly remembered what Bae Sejin said.
'Ryu Chungwoo will listen to what I say…'
"… … ."
I laid down in the living room and reviewed my thoughts.
This time, I did not focus on finding an explanation that would not be strange even if I did it.
Instead, the focus was on 'what Ryu Chungwoo wanted to hear'.
I arranged the series of things he went through before asking this question in chronological order to fit the frame.
"… …"
And a few hours later…
"Hoo."
A conclusion had been drawn.
It was kind of funny, but Bae Sejin's role as a hyung really worked.
I made a proposal to Ryu Chungwoo in the car on the way back from the recording schedule that day.
• * *
My suggestion was simple.
- How about exercising on Thursday morning?
-In the morning?
-Yes, we only have time then.
Now that time was spent preparing for a comeback, body care was largely back to dieting and fasting, and intense calorie-burning routines.
As expected, it meant that we didn't have time to exercise leisurely, but this offer meant that we would spend our few meals and breaks a week on exercise.
Ryu Chungwoo looked a bit puzzled, but soon nodded.
- Yes, it's fine.
And now that it was time for the appointment and we left for exercise, he seemed a little surprised.
"Will this be okay?"
"Yes."
It was because it was the same hiking trail that I had been tired of for the past few weeks.
"Let's go."
There was no time to say more, so I immediately started running lightly.
"Heok."
It was now closer to early summer and the mountains were getting hotter.
There must have been people climbing in the morning, but thanks to the weather, there were fewer people and it was still quiet.
So it was rather good.
'Because no one will listen.'
I stopped in the middle of the mountain where few people were.
Of course, it was not just because people stopped.
"Hmm?"
"As you said, I don't think we need to go all the way to the top. It was best to see it here."
"Oh, yeah?"
Ryu Chungwoo looked a bit embarrassed, but soon nodded. And he turned his gaze to the landscape.
"It has grown thicker."
"I know, right."
I tuned in for a moment, looked at the superb view, and then caught my breath.
And timed it.
'He would have guessed by now.'
I gave him time to prepare as I came to the root of the question.
No, he would have guessed from the point I suddenly suggested exercise in the first place.
'The answer to the contradiction pointed out by him.'
Sure enough, Ryu Chungwoo slowly opened his mouth.
"…. Um, do you have something you want to say?"
I shook my head.
I came up with an excuse that fit the situation well enough to turn it around, so I didn't come up with what I wanted to say.
What I thought of after hearing Bae Sejin's words last night was something else.
"Although there are no words that can be said… I have something to say."
It was just right.
Ryu Chungwoo had the right to receive an answer to this question.
'This guy was convinced that I was giving shit to him because I was reminded of my parents' accident and moved on.'
Even after that, I said that I suddenly remembered something, and he cooperated without objection to my actions to find 'Ryu Gunwoo'. Simply because he might know that he was a relative.
However, the reasons and explanations I gave while I was there were all inconsistent.
'It's to the extent that he's not angry.'
This guy didn't pry into anything. Being caught up in it, he only noticed a seemingly deceptive contradiction.
'Honestly, even if I found an appropriate excuse here, it's over as soon as another contradiction comes out…'
At that point, there would be nothing strange about losing trust in me.
Even after he figured out the situation, he waited with his mouth shut for quite a while until he got the timing right.
Until the time when I recovered my physical strength and mentality.
'What I had to say at the top was, let's just exercise and refresh and talk quietly…'
This was neither malicious nor obtrusive.
So, at least, I thought I should tell him at least a sincerity that didn't include the unreality of the reset and the status window… That was the conclusion that had been drawn.
'Whether that makes sense is another matter.'
Either way, there was no convincing explanation. So if a person had a fucking conscience, they should do this much.
I sighed and spoke slowly.
"Hyung."
"Mhm."
"Now… I know that my words and situations may not seem right."
I reflexively put my hand in my pocket, then removed it when I realized didn't smoke anymore.
And I spoke slowly.
"I have never lied."
"… …"
"What… Even if I try to explain, it's not a situation that could be understood very much… Oh, it's not a mental problem. It's not like you're mistaken or identifying me as someone else."
This bastard, with the best intentions, would send me to a mental hospital if I messed up. I held back a sigh and brushed the back of my neck.
"Just… I acted the way I did."
Ryu Chungwoo did not refute. I continued talking.
"It is true that traffic accidents and fires are inconvenient for me because of my parents' accident. Of course, hyung might think that I was being unnecessarily mean for a reason that wasn't true during the summer package, but…"
"Wait a minute."
Ryu Chungwoo cut off his words with a slightly embarrassed expression.
And he smiled bitterly.
"Moondae. I think there is some misunderstanding… I'm not losing trust in you or questioning you."
What?
"During the summer package? Everyone who saw you then would never say that your pain was made up. I don't think you lied."
I blankly listened to what he said.
"And… You saved my life when I almost died. It's a fact that will never change. Yes?"
That…
"Who would be angry at their lifesaver for not making sense? Don't worry about that."
Ryu Chungwoo slowly added his words.
"What I want to ask is this, Moondae."
"… …"
"Do you need help right now?"