The inside of the car was as quiet as a dead mouse.
No, from time to time, I could only hear Kim Raebin whimpering as if out of breath.
Even those who would normally have comforted him by saying something like, "It'll be fine," drove silently or patted him on the back.
Because comforting him would make him more anxious.
"Hyung.... Yes, you should come 'at this hour'. We are on the move right now, so please wait nearby as soon as possible."
After talking to the manager who was barely connected, I hung up the phone.
Now, 'at this hour?' Is this a situation where he could say such a thing? This crazy bastard was still arguing about work-life balance at a time like this.
"... ..."
What has he been doing since then?
He hasn't done shit for us.
Then, I began thinking.
From here to Gangwon-do, where Kim Raebin's birthplace was located, it would take more than three hours no matter what we did.
'In case of emergency, it may be late.'
... But let's suppose what it would have been like if we had left Seoul just before our usual vacation.
That time would have been shortened by more than an hour and a half.
A difference of an hour and a half.
That calculation... I couldn't help but do it.
'Fuck.'
Because the guy sitting in front of me would be thinking the same thing.
Kim Raebin was still unable to let go of his smartphone. He unconsciously waited for another call to come, and was afraid.
At the same time, he couldn't bear to call back first...
"... ..."
I was out of breath
'Let's stop.'
It was funny. I wasn't the person involved, and I wasn't in a situation where I could help, but I was immersed for no reason.
I laughed at myself, put my head against the window, and decided to keep my mouth shut.
I didn't want to get in the way.
After about three hours of fainting in the car...
We had just passed the final highway toll gate to our destination. Ryu Chungwoo opened his mouth in the calmest tone.
"We'll be there in thirty minutes."
"... ..."
Bae Sejin struggled to talk to Kim Raebin.
"... Change your clothes."
"... ..."
Kim Raebin, who had been stiff from tension and worry for too long, slowly began to change his top.
The clothes, which were already about to dry, fell under the sheets with salt.
And Kim Raebin, who was wearing new clothes, stopped moving as if he was absent-minded, and soon began to shed tears.
"I... u-unnecessarily asked to go on an MT..."
"No."
I answered involuntarily. Without thinking.
So, in fact, I had to come up with a plausible reason from now on, but there was no time to add an explanation.
Because there was someone who intervened.
"That's right! It was because of me."
"... … !"
"I said let's go first. It's not Kim Raebin's fault!"
Cha Eugene spoke quite bravely, but he himself looked like he was about to cry.
Kim Raebin let out a hoarse voice.
"N-no! We planned the MT together… Th-the location…"
"Think about it later."
I cut him off.
"Think about it later, and see your grandma now."
"... …"
Kim Raebin barely nodded.
We shouldn't make him think about it now. This was the correct decision.
I knew from experience.
Soon, the car's navigation system stopped giving guidance.
"Let's go."
"... Yes"
Kim Raebin staggered out of the car and headed for the hospital.
The rest followed as far as they could accompany him.
We were sitting on the waiting chairs by the hallway of the hospital waiting for Kim Raebin to come out.
"... …"
"Oh, my mother…"
In front of the hospital room, people who seemed to be relatives and medical staff came and went, but of course, we sat in silence and pretended not to know.
Just looking at the atmosphere, fortunately... It didn't seem too late.
I didn't know if I could call this fortunate.
It was around the time that the twilight sun was shining outside the window.
"Moondae."
"..."
"Park Moondae, why don't you go to the car and lie down?"
"I shouldn't be the one to go, it should be Ryu Chungwoo... Hyung should go."
It didn't make sense that the person who didn't sleep all morning and drove was still awake.
It was right for him to go to bed.
However, Ryu Chungwoo shook his head.
"I'm not that tired."
"Yes. Neither am I."
"... …"
The short conversation ended there. The members no longer talked about taking a break and waited more quietly.
And after a while, Kim Rabin staggered out with a pale face and conveyed the situation
"Raebin.'
"Is she okav?"
"Yes, yes... Grandma talked to me... She's sleeping now."
It meant that the hurdle had been passed.
'Ha.'
Ironically, it seemed that the tension in my whole body was leaving now.
Kim Raebin... he wasn't late.
However, I was able to guess from Kim Raebin's expression and atmosphere.
It wasn't a reassuring face.
'There will continue to be hardships in the future.'
I thought that it might have been the worst vacation for Kim Raebin.
* * *
After conveying the story to the company people who arrived a little late, the members who had homes to return to went home.
It was because Kim Raebin's older sister, who came out of the hospital room belatedly, gently recommended it.
-Thank you very much for taking Raebin here.
-No. It's only natural…
-I heard you all are on vacation. Thank you for your precious time... I hope you are safe on your way back.
She must have felt sorry, and it was a reasonable remark because so many outsiders came here.
It was a great act of loyalty for these guys, who only had time to spend with their families once or twice a year, to accompany him this far.
However, Cha Eugene firmly refused, saying that he was going to the dorm anyway.
- It's okay, I can't go back to my home! I have to stay here.
- Eugene…
Thanks to their previous agency life, he was quite familiar with Kim Raebin's family, and he would be accepted here anyway.
But I couldn't just leave Cha Eugene behind... There was no way.
'This guy isn't the type to take care of someone completely.'
Kim Raebin's older sister would be the one taking care of him.
Besides, wouldn't it be funny if only one out of the two guys who were supposed to be staying back at the dorm would stay here, and that it wouldn't be the older one who would be going back?
So I decided to stay too.
- I'm fine too. I was thinking of staying at the dorm on vacation anyway.
And after several requests and relief, we moved to Kim Raebin's home at the insistence of Kim Raebin's older sister and grandfather.
And in the process, through a conversation with Kim Raebin's older sister, I was able to hear an appropriate explanation of the situation.
-They said they would watch the situation for a few more days and go into surgery when the conditions are right…
-… The odds aren't high.
-Still, rather than suddenly hearing something like this time... I think it would be better for Raebin to prepare his mind in advance.
I couldn't do such a crazy thing and ask what kind of disease it was.
I found out that it was some kind of pituitary problem after listening to the conversations their relatives were having.
(TN: The pituitary gland is located at the base of the brain)
And after coming home, Kim Raebin, who was relieved of his tension, cried and spoke.
"Sh-she found out last time she was hospitalized… She said she didn't want to make me worry about working in Seoul, so she didn't tell me…"
"... …"
"I-I didn't even know... I didn't even care, I-I'm so stupid."
"No! You are not stupid."
"No, I was stupid! T-today... I can't even come to my senses, I can't do it right…"
"You did good enough."
I cut Kim Raebin off.
"You did well to stay calm. You met your grandmother and did everything you could. No one is good at this kind of thing."
"… …"
Kim Raebin dropped his shoulders.
And I... I had a strange feeling that my words worked.
'That's right.'
What kind of person would be good at this kind of thing?
At this point, it was good enough.
I got up, opened the refrigerator, and took out an ionized beverage, as Kim Raebin's older sister had allowed me to do.
Then, passing it along to the guy who was obviously lacking in hydration and confirming that he was drinking it, I spoke slowly.
"In the car… I'm sorry for pushing. You did a great job."
"N-no… ! Thanks to you, I was able to come without being late..."
In fact, nothing would have happened if he came later, but it was a psychological problem.
And I realized that this psychological problem would continue.
'… No matter how things turn out, it'll be difficult.'
After the vacation, even the conversation the company and this guy would have would be difficult.
"Let's eat something delicious, Kim Raebin. Delivery!"
"D-delivery… I'll do it."
"Okay. Order it!"
Kim Raebin, who regained his usual tone by talking back to Cha Eugene, barely ordered the food, but he didn't eat much.
The vacation passed while maintaining the usual atmosphere just barely, waiting for the emergency call from the hospital.
And… The difficult moment had come.
* * *
It was the morning of the last day of vacation.
"They say that grandma is having an operation."
Kim Raebin received a call from his older sister in the morning and spoke quite calmly. Although he was holding his smartphone upside down.
"Talk about it while you eat."
"This is Kim Raebin's seat!"
"I know, this is my house! … Yes! Gr-grandmother said that her condition has improved and she can undergo surgery!"
It meant there was a chance of recovery.
But again... It also meant that there was a greater chance that the operation would not be successful.
I didn't know.
Should I strike a candle at the person who was trying to think hopefully or not?
So I brought out a practical problem instead.
The 'difficult' problem that I thought about from the first day of vacation.
"Are you planning on taking care of her?"
"Yes… ?"
"You see, the vacation ends today."
I put the spoon in the bowl.
"We have to return sometime tomorrow morning."
"… !!"
"Will you be okay if you go back to Seoul? You should think about it."
… If he returned to our activities and was in Seoul, he may not be able to stay by his grandmother's side if her surgery worsened.
I remembered the conversation I had with Kim Raebin at the beginning of our debut, when his grandmother collapsed for the first time.
-That, in that case... During the performance, during the filming... Is it right to stop and leave? But then... It would sound like I lack professional skills.
Family or work?
It was that damned moment of choice.
It was not just for a short period of time, but the whole 4 weeks to see the progress of the surgery.
'The situation is trash.'
Of course, it was like that, but what to say now had already been decided.
"I'll tell you in advance, it's okay if you don't come back for a while. It's all about living well, so there's no need to suffer."
"… That's right. It's okay!"
"Don't worry, the company's persuasion will come together."
Cha Eugene seemed to know how to shoot support. He had been good at grasping the atmosphere these past few days.
And in fact, at this point, I thought Kim Raebin would close his eyes tightly and shout 'I'm really sorry, but I'll stay here'.
But, no.
"That… Even so, it seems painful... …"
"… … !"
"I-it's an important full-length album, but I, I haven't finished a single song yet… The title song is also in the works..."
Of course, Kim Raebin also had a dream and a sense of responsibility.
"The music video, the choreography, the stage… Oh, and I won't be able to contribute anything."
Kim Raebin was even a member in charge of producing. So, he was also the musicality itself of TeStar.
Kim Raebin was quick to realize that if he completely left, the group's identity would be damaged.
"If grandma recovers without passing away… Then all I contributed to the group was nothing."
"Yes, I understand."
I stopped talking to him.
That was right. Kim Raebin said that if his grandmother recovered without problems, he might regret it, saying that he rested for nothing.
And he would be disillusioned with himself, who regretted it.
'… Am I biased?'
I was a bit mistaken because it overlapped too much with my past situation.
I tapped the table with my fingers.
'The best thing to do was to delay the release of the album for a month or two.'
But this troubled me.
If that happened, the tour schedule may be distorted, which may cause problems in clearing my status abnormality.
'I'm going crazy.'
It was then.
"Do both!"
"… !!"
Cha Eugene shouted.
"We have a lot of good ways! The phone and… um."
"Say it in English."
[Right! You speak English, don't you?]
Cha Eugene tapped the table with his eyes shining.
[It's an era where there are e-mails, video calls, and even video chats! Kim Raebin can work on the songs here! And we'll prepare the other elements!]
"… … !"
It was surprisingly reasonable. I opened my mouth right away.
"Cha Eugene said that you should work from home remotely while working on a songs."
"Working from home?"
"It sounds good to me."
Sure enough, Kim Raebin's complexion instantly improved.
"Th-that sounds good to me too! Then, other than the song..."
I clasped my hands together.
My head began to roll smoothly for the next few days.
"Let's do this. We'll have two versions of the choreography just in case. A version with you, and a version without you."
"Yes??"
"Great!"
"And similarly to filming, we'll select our individual cuts and group cuts first, and set the four individual shooting dates separately as much as possible."
"Oh!"
"As much as possible, we'll try to push back the time that is needed for you to join, and we'll also complete a different version in case you can't join."
Kim Raebin opened his mouth wide.
"… … I-I'm sorry."
"What are you sorry about? It's just that the later you join, the harder it gets for you alone."
I asked him.
"Are you going to do it anyway?"
"… Yes!"
Good.
Kim Raebin nodded eagerly.
Still, he looked quite courageous, and soon began rubbing his eyes.
There must have been something uplifting for various reasons.
"Okay, let's do as much as we can."
"Yes… …"
I added a comment.
"And you can quit halfway if it doesn't work."
"That's right! It's not Kim Raebin's fault."
That's right.
Like that, four weeks of trying to catch both work and family began.