Chapter 4 - A Foolish Boy

"Young Master!!!"

The girl cried out as she rushed towards me.

She spread her arms as she got closer and embraced me tightly.

"Oof...!"

Unfortunately, with my average physical stat being less than D-, I couldn't even withstand the charge of this frail girl.

Thud!

With a loud noise, my body fell backward.

But the girl held onto me tightly, as if determined not to let go.

"Uh, uh...?"

My mind went blank for a moment, taken aback by the sudden event.

As I let out a dumbfounded sound, I felt my chest becoming damp.

"Sniff..."

"...?"

I looked down and saw the girl burying her face in my chest, shedding tears.

She asked me in a trembling voice,

"Y-Young Master... Is it really you...? Is this a dream...?"

By Young Master, she must mean Raiden...?

And I'm Raiden now...

"Uh, yes... I think so...?"

As I answered with a slightly unsure voice, the maid's sobs grew louder.

"Sob... Young Master, I was so worried..."

"Ah, um... Yes."

Unsure how to react, I gently patted the crying girl's back.

She flinched and looked up at me.

"Sniff... Is it really you, Young Master?"

"Um, yes..."

I seemed to be repeating "Ah, um, yes" over and over again, but I couldn't help it.

I didn't know this girl at all.

I wasn't even sure if she appeared in the original story.

Even if she did, I could hardly remember the names of the supporting characters, let alone a maid from the Lishite family.

'What... What should I do...?'

As I panicked,

The mechanical sound, which I was getting used to, rang in my ears once again.

At the same time, a blue window appeared in front of me.

-Ding!

[Synchronization, a possession perk, is starting!]

[Synchronization]

The user's memories will be synchronized with Raiden Lishite's.

You will inherit all the memories that Raiden Lishite experienced.

[※Warning※]

You may experience dizziness due to the vast amount of memories and emotional overflow.

You may experience status ailments such as fainting, vomiting, or mental instability due to the shock.

Only memories are transferred through the possession perk. It does not affect the user's emotions in any way.

[Please remember what this system said when we first met.]

[You may not understand it now, but you will eventually.]

"What...?"

Wait, suddenly?

What is all this?

Fainting, vomiting, mental instability...?

And what does it mean that I will eventually understand?

Damn it, if you're going to explain, at least do it properly...

[Synchronization starting.]

"Ugh...!?"

As the notification of synchronization starting appeared, a severe headache struck me.

At the same time, countless fragments of memories began to pour into my mind.

-Raiden, you're awake.

-Brother! Let's go together!

-Young Master! You need to take your books!!

-Even though it's an arranged engagement, I think I'm okay with it...

-Correct again! Excellent, student Raiden!

Voices and scenes flashed by like a fast-forwarded film.

They were scenes I had never experienced in my life, voices I had never heard before.

These were Raiden Lishite's memories...

"Ugh...!!"

"Y-Young Master...?"

The pain intensified as more memories flowed in.

My whole body trembled with a bizarre sensation as if the top of my head had been opened and my brain was being stirred.

-...I'm disappointed, Raiden.

-Brother... Why have you changed so much?

-Y-Young Master...

-Forget about the engagement. I don't love you anymore.

-Harassing commoner students again. This is a warning, student Raiden.

The voices that were warm just a moment ago gradually turned cold.

At the same time, my heart raced, and my chest ached.

A sharp, painful emotion washed over me.

Guilt, lethargy, despair, all mixed together to form a familiar pain.

Is this emotion... what my body, Raiden, is feeling...?

Wait a minute. The status window definitely said something earlier...

I couldn't remember.

Only a dizzying headache dominated my mind.

It felt like my head was going to explode.

"Ugh! Aaagh!!"

"Young Master!"

A scream escaped my lips.

Even though the transfer of memories had ended, the ringing in my head showed no signs of stopping.

Amplified by Raiden's emotions, the memories infected me, reflecting the past.

-Ding!

[You are afflicted with the status ailment (Trauma) due to the backlash of memory transfer!]

-"Kim Naru, national team representative? Isn't he a total fraud?"

-"Honestly, he got to the finals because of luck lol"

-"Did you see him get completely destroyed in the finals without landing a single hit? Seriously, even I could do better lol"

The comments from the finals video, filled with mockery and malice, turned into voices that pierced my ears.

Words that denied, ridiculed, and belittled my life pierced my heart.

As I gasped for breath with a constricted throat,

The nightmare of that day replayed once again.

-"I don't understand."

My father's voice.

A cold voice, devoid of any warmth.

I couldn't breathe.

My throat felt choked, as if my lungs were refusing to take in air.

"Gasp, cough...!"

Just as my vision blurred,

A clear mechanical sound pierced through everything and reached me.

-Ding!

[Skill 'Iron Will' resists the status ailment (Trauma)!]

[Status ailment (Trauma) is nullified!]

"Cough...! Huff... Huff..."

As the ringing in my head disappeared, my rigid breathing returned.

My vision felt a bit clearer, but my body was still twitching and convulsing.

That chilling sensation made my mind go blank.

As I gasped for breath, trying to calm my pounding heart, the maid who was clinging to me leaned in.

"Young Master...! What's wrong with you all of a sudden...!!"

She was panicking, probably because she saw me gasping for air.

She looked so cute, not knowing what to do and shedding tears.

I quietly reached out and wiped the girl's cheeks.

"Young... Master?"

To calm her down, I called her name softly.

"Calm down, Rachel."

Rachel.

The maid who had been by Raiden's side since childhood.

The loyal retainer who remained devoted even after Raiden became a delinquent.

And my precious... friend.

"Young Master...?"

"Yes, Rachel. I'm here. I'm back..."

At those words, the girl burst into tears once more.

With a complicated heart, I gazed at the watery trails running down her face.

However, my melancholic gaze was cut short.

A sudden blue screen appeared, blocking the space between her and me.

-Ding!

[Due to extreme mental exhaustion, you are entering the status ailment (Faint).]

"Wait, what...?"

This damn...

Thud. My consciousness was cut off without a chance to resist.

Raiden Lishite was a boy loved by everyone.

He was respectful to his elders.

He was kind to those beneath him.

And he knew how to cherish the people around him.

Even though he was born with meager talent and a sharp appearance, people liked him.

He was a proud son to his parents.

A respected brother to his younger sister.

And a lovable young master to the servants.

Because Raiden knew how to give love to others and receive it.

Joy and happiness always overflowed around the boy.

However, a storm came to the boy's peaceful world.

-Mother... No, Mother...

When Raiden turned sixteen.

His mother passed away.

The cause of death was assassination.

It happened on a quiet winter night.

After finishing his daily routine, Raiden was lying in bed.

He heard occasional creaking sounds from outside the window, but the exhausted boy dismissed them as his imagination.

He shouldn't have.

-Crash!!

The window shattered with a sharp noise.

As Raiden sat up in surprise, unidentified assailants barged into his room.

Shadows approached with a chilling aura, drawing their swords from their waists.

The boy, too shocked by the situation, froze in place.

-If you come quietly, we won't kill you.

Just as the black hands reached out to Raiden.

A woman with red hair suddenly appeared, blocking their path.

-Run, Raiden!!

Blue magic flickered from her delicate fingertips.

The next moment, a surge of magic pushed Raiden's body towards the door.

In less than a second.

The boy saw it.

His mother, forcing a clumsy smile towards him with trembling lips.

And several swords protruding from her stomach.

-I'm... sorry... My... son...

-M... Mother...?

The memories after that were hazy.

The boy simply stood still.

His father arrived late and slaughtered the assassins who were laughing.

Even as the shocked butler shook the boy's shoulders, asking if he was alright.

The boy just stared at his mother's rapidly cooling body.

It was the first death the boy had ever encountered in his life.

And his first farewell, faced without any preparation.

The death of the person he had relied on most since childhood came as a tremendous shock.

And that shock severely distorted his mental state.

-Mother... M-Mom, because of me...

The boy was tormented by the fact that his mother died saving him.

The person he loved, sacrificed herself for him, out of love for him.

Those horrible thoughts gradually broke the boy down.

To forget the vivid memories of that day etched in his mind, he lived every day drowning himself in alcohol.

His judgment became increasingly clouded as he spent all day intoxicated.

-It's all... It's all my fault...

-If Mother hadn't loved me, this wouldn't have happened...

-...I should have died instead.

Foolish boy.

He was still young and didn't know how to properly overcome his wounds.

His mind was too overwhelmed to think straight.

His mother's sincere devotion and sacrifice were too much for the boy to bear.

This became the first reason why Raiden feared being loved by others.

And soon, it settled in his heart as a kind of obsession.

From then on, the boy rejected the love of others.

He didn't try to give love to others like before, nor did he try to receive it.

Instead, he did all sorts of evil deeds to be hated and despised.

-You can't even do this properly?!

-This food tastes awful!!

He hurled insults at the servants of the mansion.

-Hic... Stop telling me to stop drinking... Damn it, what business is it of yours, Father!!

He drank every day, ruining his own behavior.

-Hey there, pretty lady? How about spending the night with me...

At the academy, he relentlessly flirted with female students.

-This class is so boring.

-How dare a mere academy professor lecture me?! You must want to die!?

He would always cause trouble during class.

As obsession and trauma consumed his mind, Raiden's delinquent behavior only worsened.

Of course, perhaps because his heart was inherently soft, he couldn't commit truly evil acts like violence or murder.

However, it was enough to earn the world's hatred.

Rumors about Raiden started from the academy and gradually grew in size.

And as they grew, various rumors and falsehoods were mixed in.

The boy had never slept with a woman, but rumors spread that he lived a promiscuous and debauched life.

He had never laid a hand on anyone, but stories circulated that he habitually assaulted servants.

The fact that the Duke's eldest son was a delinquent was such a sensational topic for gossip.

Rumors about the boy spread like wildfire.

Raiden was satisfied with that.

Far from trying to stop the rumors, he focused on fueling them.

He spent money and used people to deliberately create negative public opinion about himself.

And whenever the reactions died down, he continued to put on flamboyant performances.

-I shouldn't be loved, I don't deserve it...

-...I'm a monster who survived by drinking my mother's blood.

-I don't want to make anyone who loves me... unhappy again...

The boy muttered to himself every night like a madman.

His thoughts and reason were already consumed by self-loathing.

And every action he took was deeply ingrained with obsession.

-...I miss you, Mother.

He was a foolish boy of seventeen.

Raiden continued his delinquent behavior, spending each day in turmoil.

As more time passed, he turned eighteen.

The delinquent met a student at the academy.

Allen Reinhardt.

The boy who was considered the most talented among the first-year students at the academy.

And the protagonist of the novel 'Sorrow-erasing Heroes'.

He threw his glove at Raiden, who was harassing female students as usual, and said,

-"I challenge you to a duel, senior. Stop bothering my friends and fight me."

Raiden accepted the challenge with a smile in his heart.

This was an opportunity to be hated and ridiculed even more, so there was no reason to refuse.

The boy even felt gratitude towards Allen as he entered the duel.

And that day, Raiden was brutally beaten in front of countless spectators.

The male students who watched the duel laughed mockingly, finding it satisfying.

The female students gazed at Allen with admiration

.

Allen frowned and said to Raiden,

-Originally, I was going to demand your expulsion from the academy as compensation for the duel... but I'll let it slide.

-But please keep this in mind.

-Never appear in front of me or my friends again.

After the duel, Raiden returned to his dormitory.

Familiar emptiness and darkness greeted him.

The boy trudged along, quietly sinking to the floor in his empty room.

The wounds stung fiercely.

But it was okay.

No one worried about him.

But it was okay.

Everyone glared at him with contempt.

But it was okay.

-...

No.

Was it... really okay...?

He felt a sorrow tinged with despair.

He felt a pain stabbing his chest.

He felt an incredibly desolate loneliness.

But he quietly comforted himself.

-It's okay, I'm doing well...

-It's okay... It'll be okay...

He muttered to himself, forcing a smile as he tried to sleep.

His broken mind was like a truck with a broken steering wheel.

Unable to change direction even though he knew he was on the wrong path.

A frantic race.

The boy's downfall eventually led him to ruin.

A few days after the duel,

Raiden's younger sister, who had entered the academy as a first-year student, came to find him.

She seemed furious, having heard about the duel with Allen.

The girl shouted at the boy,

-"Why! Why are you doing this! I asked you to just stay quiet!!"

His cute and gentle younger sister had transformed into a sharp and cold figure.

Raiden felt a slight bitterness at that.

But he didn't show it and simply reacted with his usual nonchalant attitude.

The girl was exhausted by Raiden's behavior.

She felt she could no longer wait for her kind and warm brother from the past.

Perhaps that was why?

Words that she would never normally utter escaped her lips.

-"I wish... that day, you had died instead of Mom..."

Raiden froze at those words.