Shigeru stared at her hand, unsure whether he should give her some of what was in his flask, unsure if he really wanted to. She was sober, so he supposed nothing was wrong with loaning it to her.
"Give it," she ordered, furrowing her brows at his reluctance.
"Go on, then." Sighing, Shigeru dropped the flask and sat it inside Yurina's eager palm. He watched as her lips made contact with the same edge where his mouth touched and observed closely as she tipped her head back, allowing the whiskey to slide smoothly down her throat. Shigeru wasn't entirely surprised she'd appeared out here in the cold since this event wasn't her sort of thing, either. "How is it?"
"Disgusting."
Yurina took another long swig, making Shigeru crack the smallest of smirks. She followed suit, smiling with delight as warmth flowed through her insides. Taking his flask, she clucked her tongue and muttered, "I don't know how you can stand to drink this," as she drank, further entertaining him. "Why'd you leave?"
"Needed air." That was complete and utter bullshit, he knew, but he didn't feel like explaining the real reasons because that'd take a while. "Did Daiya piss you off or something?"
"No." Yurina downed another gulp before handing it back, wiping her mouth clean, and then sitting her hands on her hips, her cheeks gradually flushed. She looked to Shigeru and tried her best to smile reassuringly, noting how on edge and weary he looked. "What's wrong with you? You look really pissy."
He scoffed at the accusation, though she wasn't wrong. Another gulp, and he groaned, closing his eyes, trying his hardest not to give off the vibe he was genuinely affected. "So, you're here to play shrink now." Yurina stood there, unresponsive, as she watched him drink more, awaiting a clear answer.
His lack of response inspired her to press him further, despite his low tone, the one which served as a forewarning. "Shigeru..." As she uttered his name, Yurina reached for his hand, wanting to dissect him and trying to map out any other emotions hidden away. The moment her skin brushed against his, they both halted and sucked in a breath. Yurina was taken aback by how easily he gave in and let her touch him. "You dodged me before."
"Hm?"
"Don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about." When she heard his sigh and felt the tension wracking through his body, she knew he knew exactly what she meant. Shigeru lifted his head slowly, turning to stare intently at Yurina. He hated that her walnut eyes could make him change his mind without doing anything except looking at him, wide-eyed and curious. "Are you mad at me? Did I do something for you to just push me away entirely?"
She bit her bottom lip and averted her gaze, peering down at their hands. "It feels like you hate me now."
"Hate's a strong word," he replied dryly. Shigeru shook his head and tried to laugh her off, his chest constricting at the knowledge he'd hurt her somehow. "Is that why you're giving me those sad, lost puppy eyes?" His lips twitched, watching as she suddenly removed her touch. He already missed the feeling of her hand against his, swallowing a strange urge to grab it, entwining their fingers together, and warming her freezing digits up.
"Forget it," she said tersely, looking away and refusing to stand around and continue a fruitless exchange. "Sorry for bringing that up. It was stupid of me."
Just when Yurina was about to take a few steps, she found herself anchored by the arm circling her waist, dragging her backward into Shigeru's body. Baffled, she allowed him to pull her into him, his breath hot against the back of her neck. "Don't be so dramatic." Shigeru wasn't going to be foolish enough to even indulge his thoughts. That was what led him to distance himself from her initially after the night they first spent time alone together.
Yurina, coincidentally, was thinking about that same night, too. They clicked perfectly then; they were great companions or friends. "I'm not big on drugs by any means, but I had fun that day. And I mean that. But how often have we seen each other since the night after?"
"What do you want me to say? I'm busy. You got your shit, I got mine." He was trying hard to excuse himself and shrug her off. He wasn't sorry. He had fun with Yurina and was fully aware that the less they saw each other, the better for him. "If I knew Daiya's interest in you would last more than a few days, maybe I would've tried a little harder."
He didn't mean for that to slip out, and he regretted it the moment it did, having given too much insight regarding his personal thought process. But he was angry, so his intention wasn't to make it seem like he was secretly pining for her affection because he was still completely torn about whether or not he wanted to show Yurina a good time or pursue something more. In fact, his remark pissed him off because of its partial truthfulness.
"Oh my God, you're jealous," she laughed, turning to face him. "That's why you've been acting so weird?"
"I'm not jealous."
"Yeah, okay." She snorted in disbelief. "If it makes you feel any better, nothing is going on between me and Daiya." She locked eyes with him for a second, studying him carefully, wanting to decipher every little emotion that surfaced. Sighing, her brows knit, and she narrowed her gaze, suddenly remembering that night she slept with Daiya and the others.
It still felt surreal to have crossed that boundary with these men. Yet, she found it nearly impossible to describe how it had happened when she initially rejected the idea of ever doing something like that but succumbed in the end. "I can't even begin to comprehend my choices because they were horrible, to put it frankly. I've chosen to stick around because we all seemed to hit it off if you catch my drift. You guys came back around, so I thought we were all down for a friendship, a situationship, or whatever you'd like to call it."
She fiddled with the bottom of her sweater, holding onto the thick fabric, looking to the ground beneath her shoes. "It's awkward, though. Kissing you, then Wataru, then Daiya. Knowing how close you guys are, too." Her eyes rolled upward, regarding Shigeru curiously. "It's weird." She worried her lips between her teeth, wishing for a solution that could lead to a compromise.
The problem, for Yurina, was simple: she'd accidentally discovered that she'd wanted more than a platonic or a sexual connection with the other three men. That was the real issue, she thought. And now it had become complicated for all involved.
Shigeru sometimes couldn't control himself, finding it impossible to squash whatever urge came forth. Like now, as he leaned down to kiss her, using the excuse that it'd calm her nerves to satiate himself. He felt her quiver in his grip, and though he noted a brief hesitation, Yurina indulged and kissed him back, looping her arms around his neck.
Her tiny whimpers drove him mad, and he tugged her forward roughly until his groin pushed up against her hip. "Say it, freshman. Tell me what a piece of shit I am," he murmured, breathlessly. Despite his command, he couldn't seem to stop himself, continuing to maul Yurina, only easing up momentarily to pepper light kisses and tiny licks along her bottom lip, followed by a soft suck, which drove her to hold onto him tightly.
Yurina hummed softly into his mouth, shutting her eyelids. The deep-rooted craving inside herself wasn't hard to place since it was exactly the same as Shigeru's—she craved contact, attention, and affection, physical and emotional. "You're not a piece of shit, Shigeru," she whispered against his jaw after they'd parted for oxygen. He needed someone to care, she thought. He needed to be cared for, especially when he clearly denied it.
And for all their difference, their individual peculiarities, Shigeru wanted to drown himself inside Yurina. Something about her grounded him. It wasn't love per se, but it was pretty damn close. With a soft chuckle, he brushed his nose up against hers. "Your date's probably wondering where you went," he replied. "Pretty rude of you to run off."
"My date isn't going anywhere," she countered, laughing. "We just needed some air, right?" When Shigeru smiled against her, Yurina couldn't hide the fluttery feelings he caused her.
They separated from their embrace, and he reached for his flask, took another sip, and held it out for her. "Last call." When Yurina extended her hand to grab it, Shigeru abruptly drew it back, a mischievous glimmer in his irises. "On second thought, I don't want to be the reason for your horrible decisions, and we both know how frisky you can get."
She rolled her eyes and stuck her tongue out at him playfully, shoving him gently. "I'm going back in. Don't come in for a few minutes; otherwise, it will look bad."
"Heard."
As soon as Yurina headed back inside, Shigeru took one last draw, tossed the flask in an empty flower bed nearby, and stuffed his hands into his pants pockets. If it wasn't already, tonight would be long.