Chapter 3 The Battle is Over
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With a loud bang, the stick landed squarely on Ryuunosuke's head.
The impact sent Ryuunosuke's legs kicking straight out like a stiff hammer. For a brief moment, his entire body floated about twenty centimeters off the ground, seemingly frozen in mid-air.
Five seconds passed as if gravity itself hesitated, before Ryuunosuke finally fell back to the ground with a heavy thud. His body lay motionless, his consciousness completely knocked out, and he passed into oblivion with an oddly peaceful expression.
A fist-sized lump immediately formed on his forehead, complete with golden stars twinkling atop the bump as though they were cartoonish fireworks.
"Well done… well done, Tom." Watching the absurd scene before him, Elric Bradley swallowed hard, his trembling right hand reaching out to rub Tom's head.
Even though Elric had long known that the combat prowess of comedic characters defied all logic, seeing it in action with his own eyes still left him utterly speechless. It was outrageous—beyond outrageous, even.
Unlike Ryuunosuke, who had faced the supernatural onslaught with sheer terror, Elric at least had a sliver of mental preparation. Still, the sight left him questioning reality.
As Tom felt Elric's hand on his head, he casually tossed the stick aside and leaned into Elric's palm, actively rubbing against it like a satisfied cat. The look of pride on Tom's face was clear, entirely oblivious to how his actions had left his new master dumbfounded.
"Anyway… I should probably pay my respects first." Elric muttered to himself, glancing at the battered corridor and Ryuunosuke lying in the middle of it, trussed up like a dumpling. Without wasting another second, Elric made the obvious choice: he ran. Staying here wasn't an option; if the actual owner of the house came back, things could get complicated fast.
As for Ryuunosuke?
Killing him was out of the question. From childhood to adulthood, Elric had never killed so much as a chicken—except for accidentally stepping on ants while walking. Taking the life of a living, breathing human was something he couldn't even begin to fathom.
And as for Tom? That was laughable. Everyone knows funny characters can't kill anything!
"Oh, I've got it! Tom, pack him up and dump him somewhere far away," Elric said, snapping his fingers as the idea came to him.
Calling the police was also off the table. Elric remembered from the original work that Ryuunosuke was an extremely careful and sophisticated criminal. He'd never been caught or even considered a suspect. Reporting him to the authorities would just give him a chance to escape and continue his heinous crimes. The best course of action was to dispose of him somewhere remote—or, better yet, sink him into Fuyuki Bay.
Hearing Elric's new request, Tom nodded enthusiastically, his head bobbing so vigorously that Elric briefly worried the cat might rattle his brain loose.
Without hesitation, Tom reached behind his back and produced a bag almost as large as himself. He then began the process of stuffing Ryunosuke into the seemingly undersized bag.
For Tom, this was his moment to shine. Having just arrived, he needed to prove his worth to his new master. There was no room to let his lazy nature show—at least not yet. Right now, Tom was determined to present himself as a champion cat with unparalleled abilities!
However, as Tom prepared to squeeze Ryuunosuke into the small bag that looked like it could barely hold a chicken, Elric's eyes suddenly widened as a thought struck him.
"Wait a minute!" Elric called out abruptly, halting Tom mid-action.
Elric hurried over to Ryuunosuke's side, crouching down to pry open the rope securing the criminal. After a bit of fumbling, he managed to pull a wallet from Ryunosuke's pants pocket.
As the saying goes, money isn't everything, but without it, nothing can be done. Elric Bradley was in dire need of some start-up capital, and taking it from the murderer in front of him was the perfect solution. It was convenient, and more importantly, Elric felt absolutely no guilt about robbing someone like Ryuunosuke.
"Tom, you can carry on."
Hearing Elric's approval, Tom sprang into action. With a quick motion, he stuffed Ryuunosuke into the seemingly small bag, which was only about the size of Tom himself.
The most baffling part was how, even after packing Ryuunosuke into it, the linen sack appeared to have plenty of room left. It hung loosely, resembling one of those collapsible cloud-pattern bags. It was perfect—there was nothing suspicious about it when carried out of the house.
After securing Ryuunosuke in the bag, Tom tied the opening shut with a rope he seemed to have conjured from thin air. Then, with a casual toss, he tried to hoist the sack onto his shoulder.
Unfortunately, Tom's effort was a little too enthusiastic. The momentum flipped him onto the floor with a resounding thud.
Elric, witnessing the slapstick scene, nearly burst out laughing. "...Want me to take care of it?"
Tom froze and shot Elric a stern look. Being underestimated by his new master—especially right after showcasing his talents—was unacceptable. He couldn't afford to look bad, not when a mechanical cat or some other flashy pet might take his place in the future.
Resolving to prove himself, Tom straightened up, rolled up his "sleeves" (his fur, inexplicably folding like fabric), and gestured decisively toward Elric, signaling that he would handle it himself.
Tom spat into his palms twice for good measure, grabbed the bag firmly, and heaved it over his shoulder with a mighty effort.
Finally managing to steady the sack on his back, Tom turned to Elric with a triumphant look, his expression practically demanding praise.
Elric, still baffled by how Tom managed to roll up his fur in the first place, blinked himself out of his thoughts. Seeing Tom's expectant gaze, he smiled and clapped his hands lightly. "You really are something, Tom. I'll treat you to something delicious later."
Hearing the promise of food, Tom's eyes lit up—literally. His pupils sparkled, and the light in his eyes spun like the reels of a slot machine before settling on the image of a massive drumstick.
"Let's get going," Elric said, leading the way.
And so, the man and the cat walked out of the house side by side, their plan seemingly flawless.
However, as Elric casually shut the door behind them, he suddenly remembered a crucial detail—Tom had a tail.
It was too late. The moment the door clicked shut, it clamped down firmly on Tom's tail.
Tom froze mid-step. His body stiffened, and a deep red blush began creeping upward from his neck to the tip of his ears. The color shift was almost cartoonishly visible.
"Oh, Tom, are you—"
Before Elric could finish his sentence, Tom launched into the air like a rocket, his limbs and tail stretched taut.
"AAAAHHHHH!"
The shriek that erupted from Tom was earsplitting, rivaling the wail of a German Stuka dive bomber. Elric winced and immediately clamped his hands over his ears, nearly deafened by the sound.
"Calm down, Tom! Calm down!" Elric shouted, attempting to pacify the screaming feline.
Finally, after what felt like an eternity but was actually only five seconds, the wailing subsided.
Tom landed on the ground with a soft plop, but he was quick to check his tail. He lifted it gingerly, examining the damage.
His hopeful expression fell the moment he noticed the break in the middle of his tail. For a moment, he just stared at it, his face etched with sorrow. Then, holding the damaged tail delicately, Tom let out a resigned sigh, his eyes brimming with defeat.