LEONA
As a part of the Creed's men, we were always warned to steer clear of that Alpha and his territory during our multiple raid missions, especially ones conducted within his domination. Alpha Zane. A ruthless, murdering Lycan rumored to have singlehandedly slaughtered ten of the most hardened Alpha Lords that had formed a coup against to end his brutal existence, cutting them limb by limb. Some also said he was possessed by many demons that aided his terrorism, and he was greatly feared across the seven seas.
No one in his right mind would dare stand against him, except they wished for the most terrifying death ever known to man.
Once, I'd been so stupid to go against the warnings after what he'd done.
Alpha Zane was the one who had crushed me when I was on the beacon of success to finally pull through with my plan to end him.
It had taken him nothing, but it had cost me everything. My pride, my position, my honor...unfortunately the only part of my body that bore the scar as a tell-tale—my legs, and now Alpha Kane wanted me to go again a second time and have myself murdered by that man?
It would be better if he just rejected me instead.
"I can't do it," I said, lowering my gaze. "What you're asking of me, it's a death sentence. You don't have to go through the trouble of pretending you would accept me if you hated me this much."
"I don't hate you, Leona," If he hadn't dropped the bombshell that was a request on me, maybe there would be butterflies coming alive in my stomach at the sound of my name on his lips. "I just want what's best for us, and the kingdom."
"I beg to differ," I tried my best to sound polite amid rising disgust. "No one who cares for the good of someone sends them back to something that had almost killed them. Again, I'll say, you don't have to—"
"Leona!" His tone edged, and I'd assumed he'd bang on a table if there was one. I didn't make the effort to look at him, but his deep breaths were enough to let on that he was pissed.
And some ridiculous, self concocted one-line attempt of poem chose them as the right moment to pop up in my head.
Oh death, lovest me thou so much to grace even the littlest of turns?
Pissing the Alpha King off was a mighty death wish, but what the heck, when it was the only option surrounding me at the moment.
He exhaled one large, deep breath before continuing, his voice softer. "Zane might have killed you as an assassin he despised but he's as easy as it goes when he sees a beautiful, helpless woman, especially one with a disability."
Heh! I would doubt that with my life. Everyone that came near that monster never lived to see another day's light. Maybe unless you were his court advisor or guards, which, again, I doubt wouldn't fear him as much as everyone.
And I tried to shake off the warming feeling in my chest at the thought that Alpha Kane found me beautiful.
"He'll recognize me," I said, matter of fact.
He'd seen my face that night, unshielded from my mask before he did the deed, and even though it had been within the flickers of torch flames and chaos, and he'd taken delight to watch the horror on my face as I bled, I doubt I was a face he would ever forget.
"He won't," he declared, and I couldn't help the puzzled stare that ripped from me to him. As if sensing my unasked question, he added, "Zane Karvill, even in his infamous pride and injustice, doesn't have the ability to retain the faces of people he assumed he murdered overtime."
The first thing I wanted to ask was how he knew all of this. But then again, he was an Alpha, and a part of the Alpha Kings Amalgamation that brought almost every pack in the seven seas together. Getting information like these about a prime enemy would be piece of cake.
But still...
"I'm sorry, Alpha King," I mumbled, hoping to sound as remorseful as possible, which would certainly do me no good given the other option he'd left me to choose. "I can't go on any infiltration against Alpha Zane for your acceptance." Whether or not he would recognize me, and that it was the right opportunity to get revenge if I were greedy, I wouldn't put myself at such a risk again. I wouldn't dare to break Fiona's already frail heart by jumping headfirst into danger. I wouldn't be able to escape. "I'm not any assassin, and I won't be able to do the job for you if I wanted."
There was a stretch of silence that beat on my anxiety as I waited. The tension hounded, and I wondered.
How different would this be from being an outcast in a pack you grew up to call home?
By a longshot. Because at least I'd have the head to take on the insults, and Fiona wouldn't have to scale through life with the sorrow of losing me to a doom I'd blindly agreed to, even if the guilt would occasionally hit me. I'll survive, with or without Crestwood.
"Very well," he huffed, then he took long strides towards his desk that sat right in the center of the surrounding shelves, taking a seat behind it and surveying me with his blue eyes as his chin gently rested on his upheld knuckles. "You have chosen rejection?"
He asked like he wanted me to review my choices. But I'd already made up my mind.
"I will accept whatever you give me, Alpha King," I bowed my head. "Just be merciful to my sister, Fiona. Don't make her an outcast with me."
Fiona's love for the pack ran deeper than I could have ever imagined, and I wasn't about to upend her because of my choices when she'd recently started to bloom her relationship with Beta Gilbert, the man she'd had a crush on for years and was starting to find a settling peace here.
Maybe I was the only one that never belonged.
"I have no intentions to do so," he said. "and since you have made up your mind, rendering yourself useless to me and to the service of the kingdom as a future Luna, I hereby reject you, Leona Elia Kazan of the Crestwood pack, as my mate,"
I felt the slithering pain that swiped through my insides, like I'd just been split apart by the sharpest of swords, but only a groan left me. There wasn't any pain I hadn't gone through before, and the pain of rejection wasn't any more special.
Glancing up at him was a fatal mistake, because my insides were wrenched and my wolf, fetal as she was, mewled with shared pain when we saw the deadening stare laced from him to me.
He didn't regret this.
"I also banish you to a life of derision and spectacle for as long as you remain in this pack. If it is in your best interests to leave, fine. But never would you be able to raise your pride as a once favored omega."
Tears threatened to spill from my eyes as he paused to let his words settle, the pain so unsettling that I chewed against my mouth to subside it. My face hid behind the cascade of my dark hair, and I'd never felt so agonized my entire life.
"I, Leona Elia Kazan," I felt a tear drop as I brushed my hair apart to look at him, my breathing shallow as the sound of my heart's thudding echoed in my ears. "accept the Alpha King's rejection."
*****
Fiona was a perfect distress dictator. Not that it was less conspicuous anyway because I had practically wheeled out of the Alpha's study in tears and hadn't stopped crying until dusk, but in her own way, she tried to make things better with her usual cheer up attempts like baking me my favorite blueberry muffins, or tapping to the beat of my favorite song, which I did with her when I was in a down mood. None, unfortunately, did zilch to lift my spirit. Somehow, I felt like a hollow shadow, with everything that had made me, me, stripped off from inside me and leaving me high and dry.
But Fiona didn't stop her pestering.
Talk to me, she signed when I finally let her into my room where I'd been holed up in for who knows how long. She was seated beside me on the bed, an air of deeper concern encompassing her. In no sooner than later, she would figure out how much of a liability I would be to her. Did he reject you?
"Yeah," I muttered, slow enough for her to catch my words. My throat felt dry, courtesy of the many hours I'd spent bawling my eyes out and clenching down my sobs after telling myself I wasn't going to breakdown.
It wasn't any special pain. It wasn't any special punishment. All lies.
Does it..., her hands stopped signing midway, and her eyes peered at me with some sort of pity that made me nauseous. Does it hurt so bad?
Like hell, I wanted to reply. Not so ironic how I'd left here this morning with the subconscious preparation to officially getting rejected, only to return utterly devastated and overridden with multiple regrets.
I wouldn't have been this helpless if I had just stuck to a simple warning, instead of overreacting on my emotions.
"It hurts just like they say it would," I said, avoiding her eyes. Well, she's too busy reading my lips to see the pain in my eyes, but I still deemed it worthy not to meet her gaze. "sharp pain and all, but it's not like we didn't expect it. The King thinks I'm useless as a woman on a wheelchair."
And that it'd be best for me to die with honor than live with shame. Obviously.
If I'd agreed, would I have probably gone down in history as the mate—or Luna— who'd risked her worthless life for a kingdom that didn't even as much as care for her, over her thirst to regain honor.
One which I may never even get.
Do you want blueberry muffins? She signed, a nudging hope filling her eyes at me. At least, this second time, I couldn't see myself declining. It was blueberry muffins anyway.
Sure, I signed back, forcing a small smile on my lips.
Even though the distress hovered around me like a thick, foggy plague, I did my best to indulge in Fiona's fun antics, which she pulled to make me break out a smile. I pulled it off quite perfectly, smiling like nothing hurt because I hated the gloominess and worry in her eyes when she looked at me.
I deserved to be pitied, but it was to a limit.