* * *
''Oh dear, you're in the middle of a meal! What a rude surprise----.''
Don't sit down if you know.
When did the word 'excuse me' become so corrupted from 'I'm sorry for the inconvenience' to 'I'm going to do some damage from now on'?
A nagging sense of skepticism clouded my otherwise cloudless thoughts.
The uninvited guest sitting across the table from me was a stereotypical young lady who could be found on the cover of any women's web novel.
She wore her hair in a spiral that made you wonder how she managed to set it without a flat iron, and a dress that looked like it would drag on the floor if you didn't hold the hem.
If she covered her mouth with a fan and smiled, she could be considered a masterpiece, and her staid appearance, which was the height of formalization, was rather refreshing.
''It's a pleasure to meet you. ''I'm ----, Young Lady Roosevelt.''
''My goodness, I can't believe you remembered my name, I'm honored!''
''Your users standing behind you lip-synced it to me, so it's strange that I didn't recognize it.
I was just amazed that a human being could conjure up such a collective appeal with such desperate emotion.
When I pronounced her name exactly as it was given to me, it wasn't hard to imagine the tragedy that would have ensued if I hadn't gotten it right, as users cheered like hooligans when their country's player scored a goal.
It's the same story everywhere, with the innocent underlings being victimized by the bullying behavior of the bosses.
As an innocent underling living a life at the mercy of an overbearing person, I could feel the pain and suffering they must be feeling.
I said, ''We'll get through this.
''I'm so sorry that we haven't had a chance to talk since that day, but I'm so glad to see you now, and I'm sure you're excited to run! Are you too?''
''Yes. ''Of course, but I'm more curious to know how many men would be willing to talk to such a beautiful lady as you.''
''Oh, and the priest, too.''
Grabbing my hand with both of his, almost snatching it away, and closing the distance with his biceps unnaturally emphasizing his chest area, he looked like a charging bull.
What she thought would be a nice gesture that would help her favorability ratings while still adhering to the required standards of decorum backfired.
One day, at a banquet, she glanced over her shoulder at the behavior of a high ranking nobleman, learned from it, and showed it to her companions, and it proved to be devastating enough to elicit laughter from all but the warrior.
Apparently, this collection of masculine words is nothing more than a greeting to a true noble of the Vagis.
''I've heard all about you from Lobel, Priest Rages, and he says you're the epitome of what a cleric should be: always upright, always able to truly empathize with the pain of others, and always doing your best in your duties!''
''Haha----. I'm flattered by the undeserved praise----.''
As if someone had stuck a perfume-soaked paste on the bridge of my nose, my head tingled in a different sense than usual from the horrible odor that seemed to be a direct conduction to my brain, growing stronger the closer she pressed herself against me.
Since I saved Father Ranovel's life, several of his fiancées have taken a keen interest in me, but if I had to name the most direct and persistent of them all, I'd say that none of them had the talent to match this Lady Rosevelt.
Perhaps, as he did with Priest Ranovel earlier, he saw my position and abilities and wanted to get his hands on them before anyone else did.
It was quite a struggle to keep my barely-constructed hospitality smile from cracking as the Confucian soul inside me screamed at me that it was utterly unbecoming for someone who was supposed to be someone's fiancée to flirt so openly with another man.
''Lobel said that he would dedicate the rest of his life to the Saintess, who chastised him for his foolishness in coveting a position that was too much for him, and to Priest Rages, who granted him a second chance at life for a sin that even death could never wash away.''
''Ah, yes----.''
''I can't tell you how surprised everyone was, including me, when you chopped off your much-loved hair as a sign of your resolve, and some of them cried that my lobel was not like this----.''
''Oh, that----.''
The series of resolutions and stories that Rosevelt told me were the same ones that the Ranovel priest had been telling me ever since that day, and sadly, by now, I had grown tired of them.
It's like listening to a training video that you've been listening to with scabs on your ears, but now you're listening to it all over again with a different voice actor and no skips.
You know how couples are supposed to look alike, but if they're just engaged, and they're going to be alike in this niggling way, what a horrible chimera their second generation will be.
The thought of the birth of a demonic sprout in the distant future sent a shiver of terror down my spine.
As much as I wanted to get the hell out of here right now, finishing my meal and fleeing was not an option, as I had no utensils, and it is the custom of a woman of rank to never let the other side of the table cut off the threads of a tale once she has begun to unravel it.
For now, she had no choice but to keep her mind blank and pray to the gods that this tribulation would pass.
''Oh, by the way! Priest Reyes, do you happen to like chess?''
''What? Chess? Well, I know the rules by heart, but I've never played with anyone enough to know whether I like it or not----.''
''Then why don't you play against me sometime?''
''Haha, I'd be honored if you would.''
''Please.
Hey, Ranovel. What are you doing? You said you'd bring a fork. Come back. Hurry up.
As she slid into the seat across from me, and eventually right next to me, her breasts occasionally and blatantly pressed against my shoulder, despite the calm poker face she kept on her face, her heart was bursting with resentment and pleas for Priest Ranovel for unleashing this beast on society.
In the face of the honey trap, which my younger self would have fallen for, I was filled with feelings of anxiety and irritation, if not disgust.
For one thing, I'm sure I'm thinking without realizing it, but the sinister fever that flickered in her eyes as she scanned my expression with every touch was a bit too blatant to elicit any positive emotion from me.
Honestly, compared to the dizzying days I'd spent with Saintess, the flirtation she was throwing at me was only on par with the irritation I'd gotten from the ladies at the local hair salon when they'd groped my body and told me that bachelors really do have bodies.
''But do you know what? That in some nameless country outside of these islands, there's a form of chess with an unusual rule that allows you to steal your opponent's pieces?''
''----Ohhh. Is that true, that's very interesting.''
''Huh-huh, it might seem mean at first, but don't you think it's kind of exciting to realize that the pieces you steal can literally become your opponent's pieces, and what you thought belonged to someone else and was untouchable could actually be yours----?''
''Haha----. That's an interesting perspective that my narrow minded self wouldn't have dared to come up with----.''
I hastily curled my fist into a fist to stop her flirtatious attempt to slip her hand into mine.
''No, no, no, don't do that. Don't touch my body.
I repeated the magic words to keep the bad guys away, but they didn't seem to work.
Still, I try to give her one last ray of hope, sending a pleading eye signal to her users, asking them to stop her.
Where had they gone, those who had teamed up with me a moment ago, and at the end of my wandering gaze, there were only cowardly traitors, shielding their own eyes and condoning her imprudent behavior.
''My dear Ms. Rosevelt. Actually, I have some urgent business to attend to right now----.''
''Hee hee, you're a terrible liar, Priest Reyes, there's still a long time before the saintess's meal.''
''No, actually, I left my fork in the kitchen and forgot it----.''
''Ai, you don't have to be shy, huh, you have a cute side to you, huh?''
As I hastily tried to get up from my seat, as if to cover my body from above, Rosebelt Young Ae abruptly embraced me.
I barely suppressed my reflex to shake her off, trying to force my creaking thought circuits to work, to find a way to evolve this situation amicably, somehow, out of the current cluelessness.
''Here's the fork you're looking for.''
Poof!
As if a flash from a lightning strike had drowned out the sound.
The voice, too chilling to have come from the creature's lips, was echoed by a silver flash of light that shot out of the corner of my eye and crossed the Rosevelt estate, landing solidly in our midst.
Suddenly, it was an eerie sight.
It seems like something similar to this happened not too long ago.
''Have you finished your meal? Priest Reyes?''
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