After dying, most people would probably think that they would either end up in heaven or in hell. But I never would have thought I would see three balls or orbs of light with different colours floating in front of me. Again, reminding me that I had truly died.
"Alright! So any questions?"
Yes, red orb! A lot in fact! But what I wanted to ask first is why are you guys um... don't have any bodies? Or rather appearances? Because the other gatekeeper was an angel right? Wings and white robe and all!
"Hoho! Indeed! That's one hell of a question! Even though we said we were gatekeepers, we're more akin to tour guides! So we don't have a corporal form you see? But I mean, even if you human could see our real forms, your tiny brain probably couldn't even comprehend us!"
"This moron... Dear Eric, you don't need to know what our true forms are! You can just imagine what us would look like in your mind!"
In my mind? Can I really? Hmm... I guess that would make sense, in a way, since these supernatural and godly beings are far too powerful for the human's mind to comprehend that you would think upon seeing them, your brain would explode. But it's interesting that I can imagine what they would look in my eyes.
So for the red orb, you would look like a red skinny demon with goat legs, black horns, long tail with a spade tip and holding a trident. I mean that's basically what I think a tour guide of hell would look like, right?
"Haha nice! You human never fails to surprise us with your god awful depiction!"
And for the white orb, I would imagine you being a tall dude with long rocker hair with a beard and wearing a white robe.
"A truly marvel depiction, Eric!"
And for you, the yellow orb, I uh, don't know much about reincarnation so I don't really know what to see you as. Hmm, reincarnation...
"Well it's fine but do you know Buddhism?"
Buddhism? I had heard about it a couple of times before but not much... Oh! Do you mean the Buddha statue inside pagodas? Now that I think about it, wasn't Buddhism always about doing good and you would have a good next life?
"Well at least you heard about it, hehe"
Oh okay, hm you would probably be like one of those statues, right?
"Yeeeeees! Now this is much better!"
"Tick tock kid! Even though we were being super casual about this, you wouldn't believe how many dead souls are waiting behind you"
Wait what!? I look behind me to see... nothing?
"Oooooh come ooooon, don't mess with him!"
"Pwahahaha! Sorry sorry, you know I had to right?"
"He's not wrong, Eric! But you can relax and take your time here!"
"Yuuuuup! We got an eternity after all!"
If so then care to explain the experience that I went through to get here? Why did I have to walk on this road?
"Eric, after dying, a person's soul will wander aimlessly trying to find what it was or who they were. Only after regaining their identity, they will journey forth on a path of self-reflection and self-acceptance and they will finally end up where you are at right now!"
So that's how it worked... Okay last question, are you guys choosing where I'll end up?
"No, Eric. We will only be looking through your entire life to see what you had experienced through and things you had done to be able to give our verdict! But that decision is all yours to make... except..."
"Ha! That's right! Except for me! Only the lowest of the low of humanity, those pieces of garbage will be sent straight to hell!"
Wait, so-
"EY! EY! Zip it! You thought you would go to hell? You're not! I can smell the scent of a goody two shoes from a mile away!"
So wait why are you here then?
"Well... I never get a holiday"
It's pretty nice that I get to choose between heaven or reincarnate myself and continue the cycle. But can you tell what heaven is like?
"Fret not, Eric! Heaven is-"
"Heaven is a retirement home for old people wearing bath towels"
"Hey you!-"
"Yup he's right Eric! Instead of living out the rest of your afterlife in some boring retirement home, why not be reborn and re-live your life from scratch? Oh! Don't worry, you won't be turning into inanimate objects such as a rock or a moss! You will always be reborn as a thing with consciousness!"
After listening to Reincarnation, I will call them as, talk so enthusiastically it really makes me want be reborn as well!
Actually wait, I wanted to ask this first but I was so caught up in everything!
"Yes, what is it Eric? If you have any more inquiries then do ask"
It's a personal matter but... I would like to ask what my parents chose... Or rather where they ended up...
"Indeed that's the questions that most asked us about. To or heaven or to hell-"
"-Or to be reborn again! Hehe!"
"*Ahem* Yes, indeed! Now your parents... Ah yes! I remembered them now! Sarah and Dylan Doberman, correct?"
Ah yes! That's it! That's their names!
"Your mother, Sarah, was a kind women, passed away at the age of 45 due to declining health and over usages of drugs and medications. She would have lived much longer if it wasn't for your father's obscene behaviour and his unfaithfulness to his beloved and his own son! We would have put her in heaven but unfortunately..."
"Yup! She decided to reincarnate!"
"Mgrrmmm and as for your father..."
"Nah, listen even though he did ONE thing bad didn't mean he would go to hell okay? It's either hell or-"
"Reincarnation!!!!! He decided to be reborn again! And promised to do better for his next family in the next life! Cool right?"
Oh okay... Phew
"Eric, are you not disappointed in your father?"
Well I am or rather I was but he's just human right? Though sure, I would have loved if he hadn't cheated on my mother... It's just... I don't know anymore...
"Yes, it is a very conflicting matter. Now we won't be prying ourselves anymore on your personal family matters!"
"I mean you are in the afterlife after all so there's no need to think about your past life right? So to hell with all of them! Hahaha!"
"That's right! Now will go with them as well? It would be fun after all!"
After having a moment to re-collect my thoughts, as if knowing my decision, the staircase leading down to the pits of hell vanished quickly with nothing but a "Adios! I'll see you in your next cycle! Also remember this! Even if you get the chance to be reborn again, don't do bad things! Alright? Or else after 3 cycles of villainy, Satan himself will send you to hell and give a good spanking for all eternity! Just a word of advice! Advice! Advice!-" I couldn't hear half of what he was saying as his words started to echo more and more after fading away into the deep and dark abyss but it was probably something to be aware of.
As for the staircase leading up to heaven, it started to fade as well but it was also getting a lot more steeper. The winged angelic man only stood and waved at me with a warm smile "Remember to always be kind, Eric! Treasure those whom you hold dear in your next life!" His words were encouraging and filled me with hope!
Now-
"Now! Let's get a move on shall we?" Well they could read my mind but I don't mind it much now. The only path that is left is the path of reincarnation!"